Workaholics

Adam Demamp:
You guys ready to get weird tonight or what?

Blake Henderson:
Fur Sure!

Adam Demamp:
Dude, are you flexing?

Anders Holmvik:
[blatantly flexing] No.

Adam Demamp:
I'm like one of those dragons from Avatar!

Billy Belk:
I'm all about banging clits, sucking tits, and taking shits.

Billy Belk:
Empty da nuts!

Blake Henderson:
Holy Moley She's a thick b*tch!

Blake Henderson:
[Anders and Adam are fighting] Break it up! You guys both have boners now. What is going on?

Adam Demamp:
Wow. It's contagious dude. You're too fleshy, put on a shirt!

Anders Holmvik:
This guy smells great, it's like a coconut oil, what is that?

Adam Demamp:
Thank you. It's my tanning... it's my tanning cream.

Blake Henderson:
Boners are down!

Adam Demamp:
I'm going to ruin you, man.

Anders Holmvik:
I'm going to straight do what I came here to do!

Adam Demamp:
I'm going to straight WRECK you!

Anders Holmvik:
You're going to die at my feet, you small... minded...

Adam Demamp:
Okay, I got a boner.

Anders Holmvik:
I got one too. As soon as I said "my feet" it was like, boosh.

Adam Demamp:
Yeah all the blood just- That happened to me too, that's what's weird about it.

Robbie:
You have till 5 o'Clock to make with Zip, the Flop, the Drip and the Boo-Hoo

Adam:
Whats the Flop?

Robbie:
The Flop is the penis coming out of the slacks or trousers.

Alice Murphy:
Tell me... how does one screw up this badly?

Robbie:
I understand that the results were a little off.

Alice Murphy:
Oh! Every employee has tested positive for the following: Marijuana, MDMA, PCP, HGH, Lipitor, Adderall, DayQuil, NightQuil... why would anyone take both? Nitrous oxide, Benzedrine, Valtrex, Flomax, Cialis, and birth control! Thanks for bringing that up, buddy! I can't have kids. Don't need birth control! I want you get on your hobby cart and ride your ass out of this office before I grab Orlando's vacuum and I shove it up your ass on full suction!

Robbie:
[walks out] It was great doing business with you.

Adam Demamp:
[on Alice's answering machine] Alice, this is NOT Adam, you are a c*nt.

Alice Murphy:
[knocking on hotel room door] House keeping!

Anders Holmvik:
Okay, so this is just business, and we're gonna handle this like adults, right?

Alice Murphy:
Yeah totally.

Alice Murphy:
FRESH TOWELS! [kicks door in]

Alice Murphy:
Alright Don, Where is she?

Timothy:
What, who's Don?

Alice Murphy:
Don't you dare lie to me, I know this is his room. NOW TELL ME WHERE HE IS!

Timothy:
What are you talking about? My name is Timothy!

Alice Murphy:
[Grabs an iron and holds it to her face] I will melt my own face off in front of your children if you do not tell me, WHERE THE F*** DON "PSYCHO D" WALTERS IS!

Alice Murphy:
[looks at the man's wife and kids] What do you think kiddies, do you wanna see me peal my own face back like the top of a grilled cheese? [presses the iron up to her face and everyone screams]

Adam DeMamp:
It's unplugged, it's unplugged!

Blake Henderson:
[Alice lunges at Timothy with the iron] Wait no no no! I saw the number in a reflection, we're not supposed to be in 252, we're supposed to be in 525.

Alice Murphy:
[Throws the iron on the bed] ARE YOU F***ING WITH ME?

Alice Murphy:
[starts choking Blake] I will kill you! I will kill you!

Blake:
'Cause the spirit of half-Christmas lives on in all of us. Just like a little baby alien.

Alice Murphy:
Look, half of these people haven't even graduated high school, okay? They're barely functioning alcoholics.

Dean:
Craigslist "casual encounters" is blocked? What is this, [bleep] North Korea?

Anders:
Making Joel help all those Chinese people is so loose butthole of you Adam.

Blake:
You are so loosest butthole.