Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself2006

[from DVD gag reel]

Peanut:
...even with this guy. And suddenly in the middle of the show, I went "Hey! Stop sign, upstairs, thank you, turn around, doing doing, horseshoe, turtle, digadigadigadiga"

[Peanut's tuft of hair falls off; raucous laughter]

Peanut:
[after feeling his head and pointing to an audience member] Now I look like that guy!

[laughter; Jeff jumps down into the audience and walks over to a bald headed man and makes Peanut hug him]

Peanut:
[to an audience member in the front row] Can we borrow your chaaiirr?

[laughter; the man stands up and offers Jeff his chair]

Peanut:
Thanks. Oh, and thanks for dressing for the show.

[Jeff climbs back onto the stage and picks up Peanut's hair tuft]

Peanut:
[to the bald audience member] Would you like to buy this?

[laughter]

Peanut:
[Jeff holds the tuft up to Peanut's chin] I'm Colonel Sanders.

[laughter]

Peanut:
Okay, put it back. Be careful, be careful! Ow ow ow ow OWWW!

[laughter]

Peanut:
I'll kick your ass!

[laughter]

Peanut:
HWAA!

[Peanut assumes a karate stance]

Peanut:
[in exaggerated Japanese] Ho, grasshopper... if you can take the pebble from my hand, I no longer kick your ass.

Jeff Dunham:
What are you doing?

Peanut:
Peanut Fu.

Jeff Dunham:
What happened to kung fu?

Peanut:
Can't do kung fu.

Jeff Dunham:
Why not?