Lee Evans: XL Tour Live 20052005

Lee Evans:
People say why do we kill so many cows, well they're *crap!* They have no survival instincts whatsoever! You stand next to any fence in the country and a cow'll walk towards you going "Is it my time yet? I don't mind, just shoot me!" They're dumb animals, otherwise they'd learn to sh*t without it hitting the back of their legs! They'd swing it out at least! All dumb animals soil themselves! Sheep! Sheep are the same, but they do it for a reason! They're like that [imitating rubbing sh*t over himself] "Make a jumper outta me, will ya! I don't think so!" But cows, ah, they haven't even got any camoflauge! They're black and white, and where do they choose to stand? IN A GREEN FIELD! They can't even run away properly, you chase a cow across a field and they run away like an old drunk! [staggers around]