Shades of Gray2005

Dave's roommate.:
C'mon in, F***face is waiting for you. [They walk inside] . Hey, a**hole, your friend's here.

Dave:
Where's my cable box?

Dave's roommate.:
F*** you. Pay me.

Dave:
Drop dead you f***ing a**hole! Sit the f*** down, sit the f*** down, I wanna tell you a story. You know the express lane?

Eric:
What?

Dave:
Don't be a dick! Then ten f***ing items or less express lane at supermarket. Well I am standing on line and I only got two items. And I am waiting behind this guy, this a**hole,

Eric:
Let me guess: He was over.

Dave:
No. He had nine items. Y'know, but I am in a rush, so I ask him, very nicely,'Can I go ahead?'.

Eric:
So what'd he say?

Dave:
He said, "Why don't you play in the produce."

Eric:
I take it you didn't handle this very well.

Dave:
No, no I didn't. You know what I told him?

Dave:
Go f*** yourself!

Dave:
F*** you!

Eric:
No, you told him, 'Go f*** yourself!'

Dave:
No I told him 'drop f***ing dead!' So he starts counting, right, and he's counting, he realises he's got nine items, so you know what he does?

Eric:
I am afraid to ask.

Dave:
He grabs a pack of gum!

Eric:
So?

Dave:
That's ten f***ing items!

Eric:
So, thats still under.

Dave:
Yeah. But he's staring at me, and I am staring at him and he's getting ready to make his move.

Eric:
Dave, what move?

Dave:
For the eleventh item! He's going for the eleventh item. A pack of three f***ing car fresheners!

Eric:
Dave, no offense, but don't you think this sounds a bit extreme?