The 40-Year-Old Virgin2005

[Mooj has found out Andy is a virgin; extended DVD version]

Mooj:
Andy, don't let them bother you. It's ok not to have sex. Not everybody's a p*ssy magnet. You are, ah, what are you, 25?

Andy:
I'm 40.

Mooj:
Holy sh*t man! You gotta get on that. Life isn't about sex. Life is about children, and passion, and spirit!

Andy:
Yeah, life's about passion.

Mooj:
It's not about f***ing and balls and p*ssy. It's about love.

Andy:
{sighs}

Mooj:
It's about people. It's about connection.

Andy:
(nodding) It's all about connections.

Mooj:
It's not about tossing salad. It's not about cock and ass and tits.

Andy:
(uncomfortable) Hm-hmm.

Mooj:
And butt hole pleasures.

Andy:
It's not about butt hole pleasures at all.

Mooj:
It's not about these rusty trombone, and dirty sanchez. It's not about rainbow showers and camel-toe slide, and your Cincinnati bowtie, your Arabian goggles or the hot carl and pearl necklace, or p*ssy juice cocktails, and the jagged-head d*ldos, and the double-decker pussies.

Andy:
(scared) OK. I, y'know, double pussies and--

Mooj:
Sh*t stained balls, and cum swapping, and the hanging brain, it's not about the rattlesnake wiggle, and the alligator f*** house, donkey-punching, the tea-bagging--

Andy:
Mooj, just please stop.