Forgetting Sarah Marshall2008

Sarah Marshall:
(after she, Peter and Rachel have each had a lot of wine) So... just so we're clear, and so that I can kinda hone in on your- your central thesis of the night, wade through all the bullshit- you're telling me you think you have the right to just f*** anyone, anywhere, anytime? That's what you're saying?

Aldous Snow:
Yes! That's right, there it is! Not so eloquently as you just put it, sweetheart, but- (spills his cranberry juice over the Tommy Bahama shirt Sarah bought him, and doesn't notice) Ultimately, that is- (notices the spill and laughs) Oh, no! Not the shirt! (laughing) Take my eyes, but not the shirt! (Rachel and Peter laugh, Sarah looks disgusted as Aldous wipes off his hand on his mouth) Mmm, yeah, that's pretty much what I believe, Sarah.

Sarah Marshall:
When you're done making jokes, are you gonna get a napkin?!

Aldous Snow:
D'you know what, I think I've improved it, actually! Against all odds- I think I deserve a design award!

Sarah Marshall:
(quietly and angrily) Just please get some seltzer water.

Aldous Snow:
Um, garcon, could we get some- (Matthew rushes over and tries vigorously to clean off Aldous' shirt, while Aldous tries to fend him off; Rachel laughs)

Matthew Van Der Wyk:
I saw it from farther away- Okay, just lean back for a sec- let me-

Aldous:
No, it's all right, it's not there- You're very diligent, and I appreciate it, but- let go of the glass now, you're gonna have to walk away, bless you. (Matthew reluctantly backs off as a waitress brings dessert)

Peter Brenner:
(in mock reaction to the dessert) Oh me, oh my- call the doctor.

Rachel Jansen:
Oh, good! (they both laugh; Rachel feeds Peter some of her dessert. Peter makes sounds of appreciation as Sarah watches them unhappily and drinks another glass of wine)

Peter Bretter:
I love Hawaii.

Rachel Jansen:
(laughs) It's good, huh?

Sarah Marshall:
(subtly disdainful) Yeah, it's nice, but I think- for like a week, tops. Any more than that, and I know I'd go crazy, because I think that Hawaii is- a place to escape- for people who can't deal with the real world (snickers and looks haughtily at Rachel, who glares at her)

Rachel Jansen:
(pauses, swallows her dessert) Yeah- you know, there's so few personal shoppers and pet therapists- gosh, it's such a hard life. (she feeds Peter another bite of dessert, then grabs his face and kisses him. Eventually Rachel pulls away and smirks at Sarah, who is glaring at her) I like living here.

Matthew Van Der Wyk:
Anyone need anymore vino?

Peter Bretter:
I think we're good.

Matthew Van Der Wyk:
(To Aldous Snow) I have a quick question for you, Mr. S. I was actually meaning to ask you- what did you exactly think of my demo? And, did you get it? I mean- did you get it?

Aldous Snow:
Oh! No- I was gonna listen to that, but then, um- I just carried on living my life. (Matthew looks stunned)

Matthew Van Der Wyk:
So- not at all?-

Aldous Snow:
No, I didn't- because, you know, I kind of, just- I got my instincts, and (clicks his tongue) they weren't good.

Matthew Van Der Wyk:
(pause, then lowers his voice to an infuriated whisper) You know what, dude?! F*** you, okay?! You can f*** yourself. I can't yell right now, 'cause I'll get fired- my boss will hear me, and I won't be able to pay off my student loans (Aldous nods understandingly, looking completely bored) but you know what? You're an a**hole. I f***in' hate you. I bought all your records- this whole f***in' time I've been trying to get you to hang out with me- I'm gonna have people f*** with your food the rest of your trip! You f***in' dick! (storms off)

Aldous Snow:
(raising his glass in a mock-toasting gesture) I like him, that was quite moving.