The Mystery of Mamo1978

[Mamo shows Lupin and Fujiko surveillance footage of Jigen and Goemon]

Mamo:
Ah. Must be friends of yours, if I’m not mistaken.

Lupin:
Yeah, we’ve crossed paths a couple of times.

Mamo:
And what’s more, there’s somebody else…

[Detective Zenigata, with a picture of Lupin, is shown questioning Laozi of his location]

Lupin:
Zenigata! [laughs] Well, he sure is persistent. I’ll give him that.

Mamo:
The person he’s talking to is Lao Tzu, the ancient Chinese philosopher.

Lupin:
You mean a paranoid schizophrenic who thinks he’s Lao…

Mamo:
No, he’s the real one!

Lupin:
You mean a real nut… am I right?

[Mamo shows them images of the people he has cloned]

Mamo:
I have populated my island with the most brilliant men and women in history. Geniuses from every field–politics, philosophy, religion, art. It has taken me 10,000 years to collect them all. Superior, every one! This thriving community will live on here even after the rest of the world has gone up in smoke, a development which I regrettably foresee happening in the next day or two. Only those fortunate few chosen by me for their brilliance, or their beauty, will survive the coming cataclysm and be assured of immortality.

Lupin:
[apparently deep in thought] Brilliant. It's so simple... [chuckles, then laughs hysterically]

Mamo:
You laugh?!

Lupin:
[still chuckling] When it comes to wackos, you take the cake, Pee-Wee! A post-apocalyptic country club? Now I think I've heard everything!

Mamo:
Look at this man, Fujiko! This is the man you want to spend the rest of eternity with? This ignorant fool who laughs like a hyena at his own impending doom?

[Fujiko is put off by Mamo's statement]

Lupin:
[annoyed] Okay, there's no need to get personal.

Mamo:
I refuse to grant the gift of immortality to one so unworthy!

Fujiko:
Well, if that's the way you want to be, you can just count me out, too!

Mamo:
Fujiko!

Fujiko:
What's the point of being forever young and lovely? It's no fun if I have to sit by and watch him getting old and shriveled up!