Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas2000

Grinch:
[with a tiny red heart on his X-ray] Yes! Down a size and a half! [breaks the 4th wall to the audience watching] And this time, I'll keep it off. [frowns, and walks out of frame; to Max, shaking hand quickly] Get the stick, Max! Get the stick! [throws his hand towards Max's direction; Max barks and runs in that direction, while the Grinch laughs to himself] There's no stick! I'm smarter. [takes a running leap onto his bed] Any calls? [turns his phone on]

Phone:
You have no messages.

Grinch:
Odd. Better check the outgoing. [presses another button]

Phone Message (Grinch's voice):
If you utter so much as one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key. [phone beeps]

Grinch:
Hmm. Hmm? [turns his machine off] Oh, well. [jumps off his bed and slides to his chair as he screams and laughs gleefully] That's more like it. [he pulls off his socks while singing nonsense; the socks crawl away, and the Grinch bites off a piece of a glass bottle; puts his finger into his mouth, gags and continues to crunch the glass bottle] Mmm. Excellent year. [puts down glass bottle] I'll tell ya, Max. I don't know why I ever leave this place. I've got all the company I need... right here. Hello!

Echo:
Hello, hello, hello!

Grinch:
How are you?

Echo:
How are you, are you, you, you?

Grinch:
I asked you first!

Echo:
I asked you first, you first, first, first!

Grinch:
[sarcastically] Oh right, that's really mature, saying exactly what I say!

Echo:
...Really mature, mature saying exactly what I say, I say, I say, say!

Grinch:
[thinks for a second] I'm an idiot!

Echo:
YOU'RE AN IDIOT, YOU'RE AN IDIOT, YOU'RE AN IDIOT, AN IDIOT, AN IDIOT, IDIOT....!

Grinch:
[gruffly whispering] All right, fine! I'm not talking to you anymore. In fact, I'm going to whisper, so that by the time my voice reverberates off the walls and it gets back to me, I won't be able to hear it. [covers his ears]

Echo:
[after a brief silence] YOU'RE AN IDIOT, YOU'RE AN IDIOT, YOU'RE AN IDIOT, AN IDIOT, AN IDIOT, IDIOT....!

Grinch:
[breaks and eats the glass bottle] Am I eating because I'm bored?