Around the World in 80 Days2004

Colonel Kitchener:
Sir, I have an urgent announcement for you. Here.

Lord Kelvin:
Well, don't just stand there, man, read it.

Kitchener:
[opens a sheet of paper and reads from it] It is...with great...distress...that Scotland Yard announces...that the Bank of England...has been robbed.

[cut to Lord Kelvin's office]

Lord Kelvin:
MY STOLEN JADE BUDDHA, STOLEN! YOU BLIGHTER! YOU GAVE ME EVERY ASSURANCE THAT THE BANK OF ENGLAND WAS IMPENETRABLE!

Kitchener:
Sir, sir, I said "impregnable"–

Lord Kelvin:
IT'S THE SAME THING, YOU IDIOT!

Kitchener:
PLEASE, NOT THE QUILLS!

[Kelvin starts attacking Kitchener with quills]

Lord Kelvin:
LORD SALISBURY! Please contact General Fang and inform her: "No Buddha, no deal."

General Fang:
[appearing in the door] To forego your obligation would be dishonourable, Lord Kelvin.

Lord Salisbury:
A woman? In the Royal Academy?

General Fang:
The Jade Buddha was successfully delivered by us to the Bank of England. What happens while it's in British hands-

Lord Kelvin:
Is absolutely YOUR CONCERN! Colonel Kitchener, Chief of Scotland Yard, please inform General Fang what other items were stolen from the Bank of England.

Kitchener:
Nothing else.

Lord Kelvin:
[walks up to Fang] Exactly. Seems your little land dispute has spilled over onto our noble shore. Until the Jade Buddha's back in my possession, you and your cause will receive no British military assistance whatsoever. Kitchener?

General Fang:
[as she walks away] My agents will retrieve the Jade Buddha once again, Lord Kelvin. This time, do not let it slip through your fingers.

[Kelvin gets angry and throws a quill at Fang, who catches it in a fan before throwing it back into a painting]