Fletch1985

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
So where do you know Alan from?

Fletch:
We play tennis together at the club.

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Really? The California Racquet Club?

Fletch:
Yes.

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
That's my club too. I don't remember seeing you there.

Fletch:
Well, I haven't played in a while because of these kidney pains.

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Right. Now, how long have you been having these pains, Mr. Barber?

Fletch:
That's Babar.

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Two bs?

Fletch:
One. B-A-B-A-R.

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
That's two.

Fletch:
Yeah, but not right next to each other. I thought that's what you meant.

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?

Fletch:
I don't know. I don't have any.

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
No children?

Fletch:
No, elephant books.

...

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
You know, it's an odd name, Babar...I don't recall seeing it on the club register.

Fletch:
Well, I don't formally belong. I'm a guest of my aunt.

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Your Aunt?

Fletch:
Yes. Mrs. Smith.

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
June or Margaret?

Fletch:
Uh-huh, right.

...

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
You know, it's a shame about Ed.

Fletch:
Oh, it was. Yeah, it was really a shame. To go so suddenly like that.

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Ahh, he was dying for years.

Fletch:
Sure, but... the end was really... very sudden.

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
He was in intensive care for eight weeks!

Fletch:
Yeah, but I mean the very end, when he actually died. That was extremely sudden.

...

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Drop your shorts and bend over.

Fletch:
No...we don't have to, I mean, maybe I just haven't been doing enough calisthenics...you know, my kidneys feel a lot better now, maybe if I just bent over like this every morning......

[Dolan inserts his finger into Fletch's anus with an audible "pop" sound]

Fletch:
[singing] Moon River......[talking] Whew...ever serve time, Doc?

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Breathe easy.

Fletch:
Yeah...breathe easy... Ahh!! Using the whole fist, Doc?!

...

[After the proctological exam]

Dr. Joseph Dolan:
Well, I can't seem to find anything wrong with you, Mr. Babar.

Fletch:
Well, I'm sure it's not for a lack of looking.