Elf2003

[Buddy sees Santa in the store]

Buddy:
Santa.

Gimbel's Santa:
Hey! Ho, ho, ho!

[the children cheer excitedly]

Buddy:
Santa! It's me, Buddy! It's me!

Gimbel's Santa:
Hey, buddy. How you doing?

[an elf places a child on his lap]

Buddy:
Santa, it's me! [but his excitement and enthusiasm fades away as he grimaces at him] Who the heck are you?

Gimbel's Santa:
What are you talking about? I'm Santa Claus.

Buddy:
No, you're not.

Gimbel's Santa:
Uh... Why of course I am! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Buddy:
Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year?

Gimbel's Santa:
Um... Well, Happy Birthday, of course! Ho, ho, ho! So, uh, how old are you son?

Paul:
Four.

Gimbel's Santa:
You're a big boy. What's your name?

Paul:
Paul.

Gimbel's Santa:
And, uh, what can I get you for Christmas?

Buddy:
[quietly] Paul, don't tell him what you want. He's a liar.

Gimbel's Santa:
Hey! Let the kid talk.

Buddy:
You disgust me! How can you live with yourself?

Gimbel's Santa:
Just cool it, zippy!

Buddy:
You sit on a throne of lies.

Gimbel's Santa:
Look, I'm not kiddin'.

Buddy:
You're a fake.

Gimbel's Santa:
I'm a fake?

Buddy:
Yes!

Gimbel's Santa:
How'd you like to be dead?! Huh?

Paul:
Fake?

Gimbel's Santa:
Ha, ha! He's kidding.

Buddy:
[sniffs] You stink.

Gimbel's Santa:
[as the elf takes Paul off his lap after a picture] I think you're gonna have a good Christmas, all right.

Buddy:
You smell like beef and cheese, you don`t smell like Santa.

Gimbel's Santa:
OK.

[Buddy accidentally rips off the beard of Gimbel's Santa, and gasps. The kids scream in horror]

Buddy:
HE'S AN IMPOSTER! HE'S NOT SANTA!