Dogma1999
Stars: Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Linda Fiorentino, Bud Cort, Barret Hackney
Genre: Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy
Rating: R (Restricted)
Runtime: 130 minutes
Jay:
So, what's up? You gotta friend for Silent Bob, or you wanna do us both? If so, I'm first; I hate sloppy seconds.
Bethany:
You're a man of principle. Jersey's pretty far from McHenry. May I ask what brought you here?
Jay:
Some f*** named John Hughes.
Bethany:
Sixteen Candles John Hughes?
Jay:
You know that guy too? That f***ing guy. Made this flick Sixteen Candles. Not bad, there's tits in it, but no bush. But Ebert over here don't give a sh*t about that kinda thing. 'Cause he's all in love with this John Hughes guy. Goes out and like rents every one of his movies. F***ing Breakfast Club; all these stupid kids actually show up for detention. F***ing Weird Science where this babe wants to take her gear off and get down, but oh no she don't cause it's a PG movie. And then Pretty in Pink, which I can't watch with this tubby b*tch anymore because every time we get to the part where the redhead hooks up with her dream guy, he starts sobbin' like a little b*tch with a skinned knee and sh*t. And nothing is worse then watching a f***in' fat man weep.
Bethany:
What exactly brought you to Illinois?
Jay:
See, all these movies take place in a small town called Shermer, Illinois where all the honeys are top shelf, but all the dudes are whiny pussies. [Silent Bob raises a finger.] Except for Judd Nelson, he was f***ing harsh! [He and Silent Bob bump fists.] But best of all, there was no one dealing, man. Then it hits me, we could live like fat rats if we're the blunt connection in Shermer, Illinios, so we collected some money we were owed and caught a bus. You know what the f*** we found out when we got there? There is no Shermer, Illinois. Movies are f***ing bullshit.
Bethany:
When are you going back to Jersey?
Jay:
[to Silent Bob] Jesus, this broad asks a lot of questions. [to Bethany] Tomorrow.
Bethany:
[to herself] Tomorrow...
Jay:
Yeah. So, you do anal? Is it true that chicks fart if you blast 'em in the ass?
Bethany:
I didn't ask you out for sex.
Jay:
I'll take head.
Bethany:
This is gonna sound really bad. I can't believe I'm even thinking about this, but... I think I should go with you?
Jay:
What, like steady? You wanna be my girlfriend? All right, but Silent Bob has to live with us and you pay the rent.
Bethany:
No. I wanna go with you to New Jersey.
Jay:
Really?
Bethany:
You're going to lead me somewhere.
Jay:
Me lead you? Lady, look at me, I don't even know where the hell I am half the time. If we're not gonna f***, then what the f*** did you ask us out for?
Bethany:
Someone told me I'd meet you and you'd take me some place I was suppose to go.
Jay:
What the hell are you babbling about? All I know is we saved your ass from some angry, f***ing dwarves and now you're telling us we're suppose to take you somewhere and you don't even know where the hell it is?
Bethany:
Do you believe in God?
Jay:
Holy f***! [to Silent Bob] All the fine immoral b*tches out in front of that place and we gotta get the one Jesus freak? Let's get the f*** outta here- [both get up to leave]
Bethany:
No, wait!
Jay:
I'll scream rape.
Bethany:
I can pay you.
Jay:
Pay? [he and Silent Bob sit back down]
Bethany:
A hundred bucks for being my guide. You're going to Jersey anyway; all I'm asking is to tag along.
Jay:
[to Silent Bob] I feel like Han Solo, you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi and we're in that f***ed up bar! [to Bethany] What about sex?
Bethany:
No sex.
Jay:
All right, well lets say we're caught in a situation where we have like five minutes left to live. I don't know, a bomb or something's gonna go off; would you f*** us then?
Bethany:
In that highly unlikely situation... yeah, sure.
Jay:
Yeah? [to Silent Bob] She's the slut. Booong!
Submitted by wikidude on November 05, 2019
Translation
Find a translation for this quote in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Quote of the Day Today's Quote | Archive
Would you like us to send you a FREE inspiring quote delivered to your inbox daily?
Citation
Use the citation below to add this movie quote to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Dogma Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/1191820>.
Share your thoughts on this Dogma's quote with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In