Down Periscope1996

Dodge:
Marty, I'm a little worried about your health. Not exactly a people person, are you? I'm afraid you're headed straight for an ulcer if you can't ease up a little bit.

Pascal:
I'm-I'm not happy with this boat, sir. Requesting permission for a transfer.

Dodge:
What?

Pascal:
Commander, this-this boat... it's a rustbucket! It's a shitbox! And this crew is the most incompetent bunch of retards and a**holes in naval history! I mean, I know why you're here, but- I don't know why I was even considered for such an assignment-

Dodge:
'Scuse me, 'scuse me. Why am I here?

Pascal:
You know, your thing!

Dodge:
What "thing"?

Pascal:
The weenie tattoo.

Dodge:
[Laughs] Wow. Look, Pascal, I hate to disappoint you, but I may have had some other things going for me.

Pascal:
Yeah, yeah, yeah- I believe you, sir. Now, about my transfer. This post could seriously jeopardize my chances for advancement. I mean, I am this close to command, sir-

Dodge:
Forget it. You think you're the only one embarrassed to be here, you think this is the command I dreamed about? Well, we're all in this mess together, mister. And you and your career are in the hands of those very a**holes! Including this one. That answer your question?

Pascal:
Yes, sir.

Dodge:
Dismissed.