Dracula: Dead and Loving It1995
Genre: Comedy, Fantasy, Horror
Rating: PG-13
Runtime: 88 minutes
Jonathan Harker:
[having just been told to drive a stake into Lucy] Oh, this is horrid. Is there no other way?
Van Helsing:
Well, we could cut off her head, stuff her mouth with garlic, and tear off her ears.
Jonathan Harker:
...Give me the stake. No. No, I can't... you do it.
Van Helsing:
It must be done by one who loved her in life.
Jonathan Harker:
I only liked her!
Van Helsing:
Close enough!
[Jonathan is about to stake Lucy's heart]
Van Helsing:
One, two—WAIT! [Van Helsing slinks back behind a pillar] NOW!
[Jonathan drives a stake into Lucy's heart and is subsequently hit by many gallons of blood]
Jonathan Harker:
Oh... my... GOD! There's so much blood!
Van Helsing:
She just ate!
Jonathan Harker:
Ah! She-she's still moving!
Van Helsing:
Hit her again!
Jonathan Harker:
Oh no... I can't...
Van Helsing:
How much blood can she have left?
[Jonathan hits the stake again and is hit with even more blood than last time]
Van Helsing:
She's almost dead!
Jonathan Harker:
She's dead enough. Oh! This is - this is ghastly!
Van Helsing:
Yes, you're right. We should have put newspapers down!
Submitted by wikidude on November 05, 2019
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