Dumb and Dumber To2014

[Harry and Lloyd are in a hotel]

Harry:
Oh, crap! We've gotta get back to Providence!

Lloyd:
What? Why?

Harry:
Remember how I told you Ice Pick had to make that rock candy run down to Maine?

Lloyd:
Yeah?

Harry:
I forgot to get someone to feed Butthole.

Lloyd:
[sighs] Relax. I took care of it.

Harry:
You did?

Lloyd:
Yeah! Billy in 4-C's gonna feed him.

Harry:
[chuckles] Oh, great. Well, didja give him the key to our apartment?

Lloyd:
No! You think I want wheel marks all over the rug? I just wrote him a note, left some food and threw Butthole inside his place when we were leavin'. [goes to bed]

Harry:
But Lloyd, Billy has over 100 rare birds in there!

Lloyd:
So? They're not gonna mess with a 30-pound alley cat! Sheesh.

Billy:
[rolls in the door and puts his keys aside] Hey, gang! I'm home! Guys? [his apartment is completely trashed and the corpses of his birds are scattered] You sure are quiet. [Butthole farts out several bird feathers and hops off the couch] Speak to me, Siskel.

Siskel:
[squawks] The horror. The horror.