The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey2012
Genre: Adventure, Family, Fantasy
Rating: PG-13
Runtime: 169 minutes
Balin:
It's just the usual; summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth.
Bilbo:
"Funeral arrangements"? [reads contract] Oh...
Thorin:
[whispering to Gandalf] I cannot guarantee his safety.
Gandalf:
Understood.
Thorin:
Nor will I be responsible for his fate.
Gandalf:
[hesitates] Agreed.
Bilbo:
Uh, "Terms: cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one fourteenth total profit, if any." Seems fair... Uh, "Present Company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by, or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to...la-ce-ra-tions..." "Evisceration"?... "Incineration"?
Bofur:
Oh, aye. He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye.
[Bilbo starts to look shaky]
Balin:
You all right, laddie?
Bilbo:
Huh? Yeah, I'm okay. [trying to take it in] Feeling a bit faint.
Bofur:
[not noticing] Think "furnace with wings."
Bilbo:
Yeah, I... I... I need air.
Bofur:
Flash of light, searing pain, then poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash.
[beat]
Bilbo:
...Nope. [faints]
Gandalf:
[sarcastic] Oh, very helpful, Bofur.
Submitted by wikidude on November 05, 2019
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