The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey2012

Balin:
It's just the usual; summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth.

Bilbo:
"Funeral arrangements"? [reads contract] Oh...

Thorin:
[whispering to Gandalf] I cannot guarantee his safety.

Gandalf:
Understood.

Thorin:
Nor will I be responsible for his fate.

Gandalf:
[hesitates] Agreed.

Bilbo:
Uh, "Terms: cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one fourteenth total profit, if any." Seems fair... Uh, "Present Company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by, or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to...la-ce-ra-tions..." "Evisceration"?... "Incineration"?

Bofur:
Oh, aye. He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye.

[Bilbo starts to look shaky]

Balin:
You all right, laddie?

Bilbo:
Huh? Yeah, I'm okay. [trying to take it in] Feeling a bit faint.

Bofur:
[not noticing] Think "furnace with wings."

Bilbo:
Yeah, I... I... I need air.

Bofur:
Flash of light, searing pain, then poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash.

[beat]

Bilbo:
...Nope. [faints]

Gandalf:
[sarcastic] Oh, very helpful, Bofur.