Home on the Range2004

[Alameda Slim arrives]

Maggie:
It's payback time. Cover me!

Grace:
With what?

The Willie Brothers:
Howdy, Slim.

Alameda Slim:
Quiet, you fools. We've got work to do. [singing] Now listen up! There are crooks in this here West who have claimed to be the best, an' think they wrote the book on how to rustle. Well, as good as they may be, not a one's as good as me, an' I barely have to move a single muscle! They call me mean, boys, depraved and nasty too, and they ain't seen, boys, the cruelest thing I do! You see, I yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odel! The sweetest way of rustlin' yet devised! 'Cause when I yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odel, Why, looky how them cows get hypnotized!

Bill:
He don't prod

Phill:
He don't yell

Gill:
Still he drives them dogies well

The Willie Brothers:
Which ain't easy when your chaps are labeled XXXXL!

Alameda Slim:
Yes, if you're lookin' from a bovine point of view, I sure can yodel-adle-eedle-idle, Odel-adle-eedle-idle, Yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo! Here we go, boys! Five thousand cattle in the side pocket! [Yodels "William Tell Overture", "Yankee Doodle" and "Beethoven's Ode to Joy"] Yes, I can yodel-adle-eedle-odel!

Grace:
Maggie, Mrs. Calloway, snap out of it!

The Willie Brothers:
A sound them cattle truly take to heart!

Alameda Slim:
Yeah, I can yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odel-adle-eedle-idle-odel! An' smack my big ol' rump if that ain't art!

Gill:
[hit the Grace] He don't rope

Bill:
Not a chance!

Phill:
[Girls screamingly] He just puts 'em in a trance

The Willie Brothers:
He's a pioneer Pied Piper in ten-gallon underpants!

Alameda Slim:
Yep! I'm the real rip-roarin' deal to those who moo! Thanks to my yodel-adle-eedle-idle, Odel-adle-eedle-idle, I got cattle out the ol' wazoo! 'Cause I can yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo! Yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo! [Slim cackin' and girls screamin']