Grumpy Old Men1993

[John and Max cleaning the snow off their cars.]

John:
Did you hear about Eddie Hicks?

Max:
Hypothermia's a b*tch. It ain't quick like a stroke.

John:
A stroke's no damn good; you could end up a vegetable! Give me a cardiac any day.

Max:
You know what Jacob said. Jacob said that old Billy Henchel was killed in a car crash. Head on collision with a freight truck. Cleared his car straight over the bridge into the Mississippi.

John:
Lucky bastard.

Max:
You bet.

John:
Hey, how is he anyway?

Max:
He's dead! Died on impact!

John:
Jacob, moron. Jacob!

Max:
Oh he's fine. Real busy, but he promised to come home for Thanksgiving.

John:
Is he running for mayor?

Max:
Make a damn fine mayor too.

John:
It's a good thing he's, his mother's son. If he looked anything like you, he'd never get on the ballot.

Max:
[Insulted] Eat my shorts!