Matilda1996

[Miss Honey decides to visit the Wormwoods to speak with them about Matilda's intelligence; Harry answers the door]

Miss Honey:
Hello.

Harry:
We don't give money, we don't like charities, we don't buy raffle tickets. [attempts to shut the door, but Miss Honey stops him]

Miss Honey:
Mr. Wormwood, I'm Jennifer Honey. I'm Matilda's teacher. [Matilda looks up, surprised to see Miss Honey]

Harry:
What's she done now? [to Matilda] You! Go to your room, right now! Right now! Beat it! [Matilda does so; to Miss Honey] Look, whatever it is, she's your problem now.

Miss Honey:
No, there is no problem.

Harry:
Then beat it. We're watching TV. [again attempts to shut the door, but Miss Honey again stops him]

Miss Honey:
Mr. Wormwood, if you think watching some rotten TV show is more important than your daughter, then maybe you shouldn't be a parent. Now, why don't you turn that darn thing off and listen to me?

Harry:
[groans in frustration] All right, come on in, get this over with. Mrs. Wormwood's not gonna like this. Come on, get in. Close the door.

Zinnia:
Who is it?

Harry:
Some teacher. Says she's gotta talk to you about Matilda. [turns off TV]

Zinnia:
What'd you do that for?! He had Velasquez on the ropes!

Harry:
[to Miss Honey] What do you want?

[Matilda stands in the hallway, listening to the conversation]

Miss Honey:
I'm sure you're aware by now that Matilda has a brilliant mind.

Harry:
[sarcastically] Yeah, right. [to Michael] Mikey, get me a beer. [Michael tosses a can of beer to Harry]

Miss Honey:
Her math skills are simply extraordinary. She's reading material that I...

Michael:
[interrupting; offers Miss Honey a beer] Want one?

Miss Honey:
Oh, no, thank you, dear. [continues to Harry and Zinnia] Material that I didn't see until my second year of college.

Zinnia:
[rolls her eyes] Oh, college!

Harry:
[snickers] Great, college!

Miss Honey:
I really feel, with private instruction, that she'd be ready for college in just a few short years.

Zinnia:
Look, Miss Snit. A girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent. I mean, take a look at you and me. You chose books, I chose looks. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband, and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. You want Matilda to go to college? [laughs]

Harry:
College? I didn't go to college. I don't know anybody who did. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen! [chuckles]

Miss Honey:
[insulted] Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate.

Harry:
[less smugly] Yeah.

Miss Honey:
Or say you were sued for selling a faulty car? The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too.

Harry:
[sternly] What car? Sued by who? Who you been talking to?

Miss Honey:
Nobody. [Harry looks at her in disbelief] Oh, dear. I can see we are not going to agree, aren't we? No, I'm sorry I burst in on you like this. Sorry.

Zinnia:
We ought to sue her for interrupting our show!

Harry:
[turns on TV] Tell me about it. [about the wrestling match on TV] Why's he standing in the middle of the ring?

Zinnia:
Standing in the middle of the ring? 'Cause it's over.

Harry:
We missed it?

[Matilda sees Miss Honey place a book on the table near the front door]

Matilda:
[whispers] Thank you.

Miss Honey:
[whispers] Tomorrow. [leaves]

Zinnia:
Great, it's over.

Harry:
Who won?

Zinnia:
How do I know? You shut it off!

Harry:
Was it my fault that she came in the middle of the fight?!