Mrs. Doubtfire1993

Judge:
Miss Robeson, do you have any closing remarks?

Miranda's Lawyer:
Nothing further, Your Honor.

Judge:
Well, Mr. Hillard, since you've determined to act as your own attorney, you are entitled to make a closing statement at this time.

Daniel:
Your Honor, in the past two months, I have secured a residence, I've refurbished that residence and made it an environment fit for children. Those are your words. I'm also holding down a job as a shipping clerk. So I believe I met your requirements ahead of schedule. In regards to my behavior, I can only plead insanity, because ever since my children were born, the moment I looked at them, I was crazy about them. And once I held them, I was hooked. I'm addicted to my children, sir. I love them with all my heart, and the idea of someone telling me I can't be with them, I can't see them every day... it's like someone saying I can't have air. I can't live without air, and I can't live without them. Listen, I would do anything. I just want to be with them. You know I need that, sir. We have a history. And I just— they mean everything to me, and they need me as much as I need them. So please, don't take my kids away from me. Thank you.

Judge:
Mr. Hillard, you've been able to fool a lot of people into believing you're a 60-year-old woman. No easy task. And your little speech seemed to be very heartfelt and genuine. But, I believe it to be a terrific performance by a very gifted actor. Nothing more.

Daniel:
No, it's not that.

Judge:
The reality, Mr. Hillard, is that your lifestyle over the past months has been very unorthodox. And I refuse to further subject three innocent children to your peculiar and potentially harmful behavior. It is this court's decision to award full custody to Mrs. Hillard.

Daniel:
Oh, God, no, sir, please...

Judge:
You will have supervised visitation rights every Saturday.

Daniel:
Supervised, sir?

Judge:
Yes. A court liaison will accompany you when you spend time with the children. I am suggesting a period of psychological testing and perhaps treatment for you, Mr. Hillard. We will reexamine this case one year from now. Thank you. Court is adjourned. [bangs gavel]