Sgt. Bilko1996

[Bilko has rigged a demonstration of the HTX-1 Hover Tank, showing it off to members of Congress, various dignitaries and a four-star general and his staff. MAJ Thorn notices the rigged demonstration and gets up to say something to General Tennyson.]

MAJ Thorn:
Wait! The demonstration was rigged!

MSG Bilko:
[Hurrying Tennyson away from Thorn] Ah! Do I see politics in your future, sir? Perhaps a run at the Oval Office?

GEN Tennyson:
You know, I've never really given that serious consideration-

MAJ Thorn:
[Catching up with them] Wait! General, he faked it! Didn't you see? The gun was aimed at Target Three, but they blew up Target Four!

GEN Tennyson:
Yes, I did.

MSG Bilko:
Well, you remember Einstein's theory, sir- space is curved?

GEN Tennyson:
Yes.

MSG Bilko:
And these are smart weapons. [Makes cutting motions with his hand, indicating the shot changed course.]

MAJ Thorn:
Oh, cut the crap! He faked it! It's just another one of his scams!

GEN Tennyson:
That's a serious charge. Colonel, what about this?

COL Hall:
Well, General, I must tell you, in all my years in the service, I have never- not once- publicly berated a fellow officer. But I realise now, from the very first moment Major Thorn set foot on Fort Baxter, he engaged in a person vendetta against Master Sergeant Bilko. I find his conduct inexcusable; and I'm going to recommend an Article 32 investigation.

GEN Tennyson:
I see.

MAJ Thorn:
You don't understand. He doesn't know what's going on, he never knows what's going on! This sergeant leads him around by the nose!

GEN Tennyson:
[Shocked] Major! You are the most insubordinate officer I have ever met!

MAJ Thorn:
[Grabs Hall] I'm telling you... he's a BOOB! He doesn't get it! They faked the whole thing!

GEN Tennsyon:
I'd like to see just one piece of solid evidence, to support these idiotic allegations!

MAJ Thorn:
Idiotic. How's this for idiotic!? [Pulls a part of the tank's electronics out of his pocket] The Fire Control and Super Elevator Board! I took it out last night; so how can it work?

[GEN Tennyson and a crowd of officers and dignitaries are now staring right at Thorn; he starts to notice this, too late.]

COL Hall:
So you deliberately sabotaged this project, Major.

MSG Bilko:
[Producing a tape recorder] I got it all on tape. Lucky!