Popeye1980

Popeye:
Oh, Pap... father. It's me, it's me, your oxspring son.

Poppdeck Pappy:
Stand to, you swab!

Popeye:
Yes, sir.

Poopdeck Pappy:
Your casking shadows on Poopdeck Pappy. Pride to the Pacifiric. And father to the shark. Brother to the piranhaca. Cousin to the whale. And uncle to the octopussy.

Popeye:
But pap, I'm your one and only exspring. See, we got the same bulgy arms.

Poopdeck Pappy:
No resemblance.

Popeye:
We-we got the same squinky eye.

Poopdeck Pappy:
What squinky eye?

Popeye:
That's going to be hard for you to see. Oh, we even got the same pipe, pap.

Poopdeck Pappy:
You idiot, you can't inherit a pipe! Ooh, I am poppa to no male. Nor no female child. That no court could prove otherwise.