Watchmen2009

The Comedian:
This is all bullshit.

Ozymandias:
You know, for a guy who calls himself "The Comedian", I can never tell when you're joking.

The Comedian:
"Watchmen". That's the real joke. It didn't work fifteen years ago, it sure as hell ain't gonna work now just 'cause you wanna keep playing Cowboys and Indians.

Nite Owl II:
Maybe we should agree on "no drinking at meetings"? [Comedian snorts] Look, Rorschach and I have made real headway on the gang problem by working together.

Rorschach:
With a group this size, it seems like a publicity stunt. [pointedly] Not in it for the ink.

Ozymandias:
We can do so much more. We can save this world. [the Comedian scoffs. Ozymandias looks at him pointedly] With the right leadership.

The Comedian:
And that'd be you, right Ozzy? I mean, hell, you're the smartest man on the planet.

Ozymandias:
It doesn't take a genius to see the world has problems.

The Comedian:
Yeah, but it takes a room full of morons to think they're small enough for you to handle. You people, you hear Moloch's back in town, you get your panties all in a bunch... You think catching him matters?

Rorschach:
[steps forward, angrily] Justice matters! [Nite Owl stops him]

The Comedian:
[laughs] Justice? Justice is coming for all of us, No matter what the f*** we do. You know, mankind's been trying to kill each other off since the beginning of time; now, we finally have the power to finish the job. Ain't nothing gonna matter once those nukes start flying; we'll all be dust. [sets light to a display of the United States] And Ozymandias here will be the smartest man on the cinder. [walks away, laughing]