Apollo 131995

Jack Swigert:
I've been going over the numbers again. Have they called up with a re-entry plan yet? 'Cause we're coming in too shallow.

Jim Lovell:
We're working on something, Jack. Just hold on.

Fred Haise:
I can't remember the ratio temperature; we got no references on board.

Jim Lovell:
Well, let's see if Houston can pull up the MIL-SPECs.

Jack Swigert:
Listen, listen, listen! They gave us too much Delta V, had us burn too long. At this rate, we're gonna skip right off of the atmosphere, and we're never gonna get back!

Fred Haise:
What are you talking about? How'd you figure that?

Jack Swigert:
I can add.

Jim Lovell:
Jack, they've got half the Ph.Ds on the planet working on this.

Fred Haise:
Houston says we're right on the money.

Jack Swigert:
And what if they have made a mistake, all right, and there was no way to reverse it? You think they would tell us? There's no reason for them to tell us.

Fred Haise:
What do you mean they're not gonna tell us? That's bullshit!

Jim Lovell:
All right, there's 1,000 things that have to happen in order, we are on #8. You're taking about #692.

Jack Swigert:
And in the meantime, I'm trying to tell you we're coming in too fast. I think they know it, and I think that's why we don't have a goddamn re-entry plan.

Jim Lovell:
That's duly noted. Thank you, Jack. We agree with that.

Jack Swigert:
[hits his head on the L.E.M. ceiling] OW! God damn this piece of sh*t!

Fred Haise:
Hey! This piece of sh*t's gonna get you home. That's 'cause that's the only thing we got left, Jack!

Jack Swigert:
Now what are you saying, Fred?

Fred Haise:
Well, I think you know what I'm saying.

Jack Swigert:
Now wait a minute. All I did was stir those tanks.

Fred Haise:
What was that gauge reading before you hit the switch?

Jack Swigert:
Hey, don't tell me how to fly the damn C.M.–

Fred Haise:
You don't even know, do you?!

Jack Swigert:
–They brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to stir the damn tanks and I stirred the tanks!

Jim Lovell:
Jack, stop kicking yourself in the ass, all right?

Jack Swigert:
This is not my fault!

Jim Lovell:
No one is saying it is. If I'm in the left-hand seat when the call comes up, I stir the tanks.

Jack Swigert:
Yeah, well, tell him that. [points to Haise]

Fred Haise:
I just asked you what the gauge was reading, and you don't know!

Jim Lovell:
All right, look, we're not doing this, gentlemen, we're not gonna do this. We're not gonna go bouncing off the walls for ten minutes, because we're just gonna end up right back here with the same problems! Try to figure out how to stay alive!

CAPCOM:
Aquarius, this is Houston.

Jim Lovell:
Are we on VOX?!

Fred Haise:
No, we're not on VOX.

Jim Lovell:
[Turns on switch to transmit; calmly] Yeah, Houston, this is Aquarius, go ahead.

CAPCOM:
Yeah, Jim, could you check you check your CO2 gauge for us? [the CO2 warning light blinks on right at that moment]

Jim Lovell:
Yeah, Houston, we were just looking at that. Our CO2 measurement has jumped 4 notches in the last hour.

Fred:
That can't be right. I went over those numbers three times.

CAPCOM:
Jim, that sounds about right. We were expecting that.

Jim Lovell:
Well, that's very comforting to know, Houston. What do we do about it.

CAPCOM:
Jim, we're working on a procedure down here for you. Do you copy?

Fred Haise:
Oh, Christ.

Jim Lovell:
All right, Houston, we're standing by for those procedures.

Fred Haise:
Christ, I know why my numbers are wrong. I only figured it for two people.

[Lovell and Haise look over at Swigert]

Jack Swigert:
Maybe I should just hold my breath.