A Night at the Opera1935

Gottlieb:
If you pardon my saying so, Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Driftwood seems hardly the person to handle your business affairs?

Mrs. Claypool:
I'm beginning to think the same thing.

Driftwood:
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Well, I made it. How soon does the curtain go up?

Gottlieb:
The curtain, Mr. Driftwood, will go up again next season.

Mrs. Claypool:
You've missed the entire opera.

Driftwood:
Well, I only missed it by a few minutes. Then, I can go then, huh?

Gottlieb:
Mrs. Claypool, was I right? Isn't Lassparri the greatest tenor that ever lived?

Mrs. Claypool:
He's superb. What would you have to pay him?

Gottlieb:
What's the difference? He must sail with us tomorrow no matter how much we pay him. Why, he wouldn't be worth $1,000 a night.

Driftwood:
How much?

Gottlieb:
$1,000 a night.

Driftwood:
A thousand dollars a nacht? What does he do?

Gottlieb:
What's he do? He sings!

Driftwood:
So, you're willing to pay him $1,000 a night just by singing? Why, you can get a phonograph record of Minnie the Moocher for 75 cents. For a buck and a quarter, you can get Minnie.

Gottlieb:
If you'll excuse me, Mrs. Claypool, I think I had better arrange to see Lassparri immediately. You are agreed-- $1,000 a night?

Mrs. Claypool:
Just as you think.

Driftwood:
[To himself] Thousand dollars a night? There must be something I have to get a piece of this? [To Gottlieb] Wait a minute! Why don't I sign Lassparri? I represent Mrs. Claypool.

Gottlieb:
But, I represent the New York Opera Company. My boy? Will you give my card to signor Lassparri, please?