Little Miss Sunshine2006

Edwin:
Jesus, I'm tired. I'm so f***ing tired. Do you know how tired I am? If some girl came up to me, begged me to f*** her, I couldn't do it. That's how tired I am.

Richard:
Dad? Uh, watch the language, huh?

Edwin:
She's listening to music. Olive, I'll give you a million dollars if you turn around. [Olive is still listening to music while Richard and Sheryl looked at her] See?

Richard:
All right. But the rest of us.

Edwin:
Oh, the rest of you. [turns to Dwayne] Can I give you some advice?

Dwayne:
[shakes head "no"]

Edwin:
Well, I'm going to give it to you, anyway. I don't want you making the same mistakes I made when I was young.

Richard:
Can't wait to hear this.

Edwin:
Dwayne, that's your name, right? Dwayne? This is the voice of experience talking. Are you listening? F*** a lot of women, Dwayne.

Richard:
Hey. Dad!

Edwin:
Not just one woman. A lot of women.

Richard:
That's enough, all right?

Edwin:
Are you getting any?

Richard:
Dad!

Edwin:
You can tell me, Dwayne. Are you getting any?

Richard:
Come on, please.

Dwayne:
[shakes his head no]

Grandpa:
No? Jesus. You're what, 15? My God, man!

Richard:
Dad!

Edwin:
You should be getting that young stuff.

Richard:
Dad. Dad! Hey!

Edwin:
That young stuff is the best in the world. That young stuff is the best stuff in the whole world!

Richard:
Hey, Dad, that's enough! Stop it!

Edwin:
Will you kindly not interrupt me, Richard?! [turns to Dwayne] See, right now you're jailbait. They're jailbait. It's perfect. I mean, you hit 18, man, you're talking about three to five.

Richard:
Hey, I will pull this truck over right now!

Edwin:
So pull the truck over! F*** you! I can say what I want. I still got Nazi bullets in my ass!

Richard:
Ah, the Nazi bullets!

Edwin:
You're as bad as those f***ers at Sunset Manor.

[Richard toots the horn]

Frank:
What happened at Sunset Manor?

Sheryl:
Frank, don't encourage him.

Edwin:
What happened? I'll tell you what happened. I paid my money. They took my money. I should be able to do what the f*** I want!

Sheryl:
[to Frank] He started snorting heroin.

Frank:
[to Edwin] You started snorting heroin?

Edwin:
[in response to Frank] I'm old!

Frank:
Well, that stuff will kill you.

Edwin:
What am I, an idiot? [to Dwayne] And don't you start taking that sh*t. When you're young, you're crazy to do that stuff.

Frank:
[to Edwin] Well, what about you?

Edwin:
[to Frank] What about me? I'm old! When you're old, you're crazy not to do it.

Sheryl:
We've tried. Believe me. The intervention was a fiasco. He's worse than a two-year-old.

Richard:
Can we please talk about something else?

Frank:
I take it you didn't like it at Sunset Manor?

Sheryl:
Frank.

Edwin:
Are you kidding me? It was a f***ing paradise. They got a pool, they got golf; now I'm stuck with Mr. Happy here, sleeping on a f***ing sofa. Look, I know you're a homo and all, but maybe you can appreciate this. You go to one of those places, there's four women for every guy. Can you imagine what that's like?

Frank:
You must have been very busy.

Edwin:
Whoa. I had second degree burns on my Johnson, I kid you not.

Frank:
Really?

Edwin:
Forget about it.

Olive:
[takes off her headphones] What are you talking about?

Edwin:
Politics.

Olive:
Oh. [Puts her headphones back on]

Edwin:
[to Dwayne] F*** a lotta women, kid. I've got no reason to lie to you. Not just one woman. A lotta women.