Cheaper by the Dozen2003

Nora:
[on the phone] It totally sucks. I miss you too, but, I mean, I've gotta get a job. Hi, Lorraine. Okay, I'll try and be there, honey. Hi, Kimmy. Yeah, I-I know that I haven't been very friendly recently. [to Hank] They are pulling me in again!

Hank:
Just tell them you can't do it.

Nora:
[on the phone] Could you guys hold on a second? [to Hank] That's easy for you to say! You're an only child! It might be fun to babysit together.

Hank:
No! Whoa, no! No, you know what happened the last time we visited.

Nora:
Oh, honey, they were just welcoming you into the family.

Hank:
They set me on fire.

Nora:
Just your pants.

Hank:
Honey, I am an actor, okay? And sure, last time, it was just my pants, but what if next time it's my face? This is the moneymaker! I'm not that good of an actor! This is how I get the jobs! I know that! I'm man enough to admit it!

Nora:
Please? Please, please, please, please?

Hank:
Don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like that! You always do that to me. Fine, fine, you know what? We'll go. But I'll tell you what. One thing happens and I'm gone. And no fires. And we sleep in the same room.

Nora:
[on the phone to Kimmy] Kimmy, put Dad on.

Tom:
She says she'll help us out if they can stay in the same room.

Kate:
No, no way. No, she knows the rules. She wants to have her own room while she's here. Isn't that sweet? No.

Tom:
[on the phone with Nora] Okay, look, why don't you just come over on Sunday, and we'll talk logistics. All right, bye. [hangs up the phone]

Sarah:
Tell me that Mister Doorknob Man isn't babysitting too!

Kate:
Yes, he very well might be, young lady!

Tom:
And do not set his pants on fire again!

Kate:
Yes.

Sarah:
Classic.

[the kids look in guilt]

Kate:
It was just his pants. [walks out of the room with Tom]

Sarah:
Does anyone besides me think our "happier and stronger" life, is actually code for "nastier and suckier"?

Mike:
First, Dad forces us to move.

Jake:
Then Mom decides to become a career person and like, travel the globe.

Jessica:
And now we have to take orders from Hank, the model/actor?!

Mark:
And he hates kids, too.