EuroTrip2004

Cooper:
So, what's the etiquette on boners? Do I roll over and dig out a hole for it, or is it cool to just let my flag fly?

Scott:
Wait, wait. Does "nude beach" mean we have to get naked, too?

Cooper:
Of course. Do you think you can go an hour without your currency colostomy bag?

Jamie:
As long as this thing has our money and passports in it, it's not coming off, and my trunks won't come off, either.

Cooper:
Come on. You came all the way to Europe. Can't wimp out now. Okay. All right, on the count of three. Here we go. [They takes off pants] Look at Jamie's penis!

Jamie:
Very funny. Very funny.

Cooper:
All right. Let the crazy European sex odyssey begin! Here we go. Really? Yes. Mm-hmm. Hello, ladies! [They run to beach only to realise it's all men]

Beach visitors:
Ladies? B*tches?

Cooper:
Eww! What a rip! There's no nude girls here, just guys like us looking for nude girls. I don't understand!

Jamie:
[Turns over a page in Frommer's with a you-should-know-better face] Crans Sur Mer has one of the best nude beaches on the continent. However, during the summer, the European women are chased away by gawking male tourists, so Europe's most nubile exhibitionists head to the deserted beach next to the Monument des Poissonieres.

Cooper:
There's so many penises.

Jamie:
Frommer's tried to tell you, but you just didn't listen.

Scott:
This is the biggest sausage fest on earth. It's the international house of sausage.

Jenny:
Hey! Thanks for waiting.

Cooper:
You're not missing anything. It's all guys.

Jenny:
At least the sun's out. [Takes off sweater and hat, starts shaking hair]

Cooper:
Holy crap!

Jenny:
What? I thought this was a nude beach.

Jamie:
[Heavily dramatised] No...! [Throws himself past Jenny in the style of an action film cliche]

Jenny:
Huh?

Jamie:
No.

Jenny:
What? What are you doing?

Jamie:
Jenny, you gotta cover up.

Beach visitors:
Girl? [They all start lumbering collectively on them zombie-style] Girl! Ooh, girl. Girl... girl. Girl... girl...

Jamie:
Run! I'm not gonna make it. Go on without me.

Scott:
All right. See ya.

Beach visitors:
Chica! Chica! Chica! Chica!