Scott Pilgrim vs. the World2010

Scott Pilgrim:
I think this ex-boyfriends thing is messing with my head.

Ramona Flowers:
Exes.

Scott Pilgrim:
Why do you keep saying that--

[Scott is kicked in the face from behind, slams into the bar counter and falls flat on the floor. He looks up at his attacker.]

Scott Pilgrim:
[stands up, thinking] The girl from earlier?

Ramona Flowers:
Roxy?

Scott Pilgrim:
You know this girl?

Roxy Richter:
Boy, does she know me.

Scott Pilgrim:
[deeply confused] What is she talking about?

Roxy Richter:
He really doesn't know?

Scott Pilgrim:
[realisation dawning] Wait.

Roxy Richter:
Hmm. [smiles suggestively]

[Inside Scott's head, a lever switches from "NO CLUE" to "GETS IT"]

Scott Pilgrim:
You and her?

Ramona Flowers:
It was just a phase.

Roxy Richter:
"Just a phase"?!

Scott Pilgrim:
You had a sexy phase?

Ramona Flowers:
It meant nothing. I didn't think it would count.

Roxy Richter:
"It meant nothing"?!!

Ramona Flowers:
I was just a little bi-curious.

Roxy Richter:
Well, honey... [cracks knuckles.] I'm a little bi-furious!

[Roxy performs a spinning kick aimed at Scott, but is blocked by Ramona. A pink VS. sign appears between them and Ramona throws Roxy back.]

Ramona Flowers:
Do that again and I will end you!

Roxy Richter:
Back off, hasbian! If Gideon can't have you, no one can! [whips off her belt, which turns into a chain-sword.] The League has spoken!

Ramona Flowers:
Well, then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here, 'cause I'm about to kick yours out of the Great White North! [pulls a massive stone hammer out of her purse]

[While they fight, Scott ducks over to Wallace]

Scott Pilgrim:
Wallace?

Wallace Wells:
Uh-huh?

Scott Pilgrim:
This is really happening, right?

Wallace Wells:
Oh yeah. [yelling] Kick her in the balls!

[As they continue fighting, Roxy grabs Ramona's hammer with her chain sword]

Roxy Richter:
I'm sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces, you slag! [throws the hammer out of the window] Ha!

[Roxy turns around, Ramona axe-kicks her in the head and she falls to the floor.]

Ramona Flowers:
I'd rather be dead than go back. He's a creep, you're a b*tch, and you all deserve each other.

Roxy Richter:
Give it a rest, Ramona! This is a League game!

Ramona Flowers:
Meaning?

Roxy Richter:
[stands up] Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists!

[Everyone looks at Scott expectantly]

Scott Pilgrim:
[nervous] Uh, I don't think I can hit a girl. They're soft.

Ramona Flowers:
You don't have a choice.

[Ramona grabs Scott and uses his arms and legs to fend off Roxy's attacks]

Roxy Richter:
Fight your own battles, lazy ass! [vanishes]

[After a few seconds Roxy rematerializes, forcing Scott and Ramona apart, and punches Scott into the rafters. He falls and lands in a pile on the ground.]

Roxy Richter:
Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey, some sooner than others. [raises her leg in an axe kick] Your BF's about to get F'd in the B! [brings her leg down in slow motion]

Ramona Flowers:
[voice slowed down] Her weak point's the back of her knees.

Scott Pilgrim:
[voice slowed down] Great, how does that work?

Ramona Flowers:
[voice slowed down] Whenever we were making out I would just...

Scott Pilgrim:
[voice slowed down] Okay, enough!

[Scott pokes Roxy in the back of her knee. Roxy, overcome, collapses on the floor and writhes.]

Roxy Richter:
You'll never... be able to do this... to heerrr...!

[Roxy explodes into coins]