Matilda the Musical2022

Matilda Wormwood:
Do you want to hear about my first day at school?

Mrs. Wormwood:
Yuck. I'd rather eat vegetables.

Mr. Wormwood:
It's official, I'm a genius! My losing streak is over. This fella comes into the lot. Huge he was. Great big bear of a man. And this bear of a man wants a luxury car.

Mrs. Wormwood:
Oh, lovely. But do bears drive?

Mr. Wormwood:
No. He's not a real bear.

Matilda Wormwood:
Do you have a luxury car?

Mr. Wormwood:
I've got two, boy.

Matilda Wormwood:
I'm a girl.

Mr. Wormwood:
One with a smashed-in front, and one with a smashed-in back. All I gotta do is cut them in half, glue them together and Bob's your chipmunk. Daddy's back.

Matilda Wormwood:
But isn't that illegal? And sort of, well, wrong? [Mrs. Wormwood gasps]

Mr. Wormwood:
What'd he say? Wrong? Wrong? [snatches the library book out of Matilda's hand] Give me that. The Grapes of...Idiot! How can grapes be angry? Hey? What utter junk!

Matilda Wormwood:
It's not about grapes.

Mr. Wormwood:
Back-yakking! The little madam!

Matilda Wormwood:
I'm not back-yakking!

Mr. Wormwood:
Don't you back-yak me! I'll rip this book up in front of you.

Matilda Wormwood:
No, it's a library book!

Mrs. Wormwood:
Go on, do it. Go on.

Mr. Wormwood:
[tears the pages of the library book] There! There! Now get to bed, you little bookworm.