The Rugrats Movie1998

[Cut to exterior of the "Lipschitz Maternity Arts Building", 3 cars race to the front entrance. Cut to interior, looking at a bank of monitors with Dr. Lipschitz's image on each monitor]

Dr. Lipschitz:
[on monitors] Welcome to the Werner P. Lipschitz Center for Holistic Birthing, offering the modern parent the state of the art in primitive birth alternatives.

[While Lipschitz speaks, a statue with Lipschitz holding several babies comes into view. Then, cut to a board that displays the names of mothers giving birth, in a fashion of the "Arrivals" and "Delays" board at airports. The gang arrive at the reception desk]

Nurse:
Oh, Mrs. Pickles! You weren't due till next week, now, dear. Geez, well, I guess we could try and squeeze you in somewhere, huh?

Didi Pickles:
But Dr. Lipschitz promised us the all-natural Zen experience in the Tibetan terrace room!

Boris Kropotkin:
In my day, a woman just dropped her baby in the potato field and kept going.

Nurse:
Ah, yes, the old country room. [opens door to a room that has maternity equipment in a middle of a potato field, complete with cows and a farmer]

Didi Pickles:
Do you have anything a little cleaner?

Nurse:
Well, we could try the aquatic immersion room.

[The gang looks at a window of a tank that has fish, a sea turtle, dolphins, and ruins, plus the pre-requisite maternity gear. The new mother pictured is in scuba gear, while her doctor is in an old-fashioned sea diver's outfit]

Minka Kerpackter:
She's having a baby, not a gefilte fish!

[A couple of doctors enter; one of them is Dr. Lucy Carmichael]

Lucy Carmichael:
Oh! Stu, Didi, Randy called to say you were on your way. [laughs] I didn't realize you were bringin' the whole party! How far apart are the pains, hon?

Stu Pickles:
Oh, they're... [Didi squeezes his hand very tight] pretty much constant.

Lucy Carmichael:
Okay, Didi, let's go and get you settled in, huh?

[The babies are placed in a playpen]

Lou Pickles:
Here you go, sprout.

Didi Pickles:
[to Tommy] Don't worry, sweetie, mommy's going to be okay.

[Grown-ups leave; Didi continues her breathing exercises]

Chuckie Finster:
Oh, gosh, Tommy, your mommy sure seems upset.

Lil DeVille:
Maybe your baby sister really is losted.

Tommy Pickles:
Whoa! Maybe we can buy her a new one.

[Tommy pulls out his chocolate coin]

Chuckie Finster:
Where're we gonna find a baby in a place like this?

[Pull away to reveal several doctors walking around, carrying babies. The babies, in the usual fashion, break out of the playpen, and crawl out without being caught by Lou and Boris, who are too busy playing "Fish"]

Lou Pickles:
You got any queens?

Boris Kropotkin:
Go fish.

[The babies enter the newborns' nursery]

Phil DeVille:
Hey, a baby store.

Lil DeVille:
Nice and wiggly.

Tommy Pickles:
You guys, help me pick one my mom will like.

[The song "This World is Something New to Me" begins as babies cry and Chuckie steps on one of the light switches on the floor. For your convenience, the newborns' lines will be identified by the artist singing it]

Lisa Loeb:
[singing] Where am I?

B-Real:
[singing] How did I get here?

Patti Smith:
[singing] Things look different than yesterday.

Lou Rawls:
[singing] So this is the world?

Laurie Anderson:
[singing] I miss my old womb.

Gordon Gano:
[singing] The wallpaper here just ain't the same.

Fred Schneider:
[singing; hides under a blanket] This world is something strange.

Lisa Loeb:
[singing] I'm wet.

Phife Dawg:
[singing; wrapped in a blanket] I'm cold!

Lenny Kravitz:
[singing; waggles his diaper] I need a change!

Chorus:
[tossing their blankets in air] This world is something new to me.

Phife Dawg:
[singing] Oh, my head! What is this? I can't take it!

Dawn Robinson:
[singing; on an adjacent monitor] Me either!

[Robotic camera zooms in on next baby]

Beck:
[singing] I'm hungry.

Lou Rawls:
[singing] I'm tired.

Jakob Dylan:
[singing; pounds a crib floor to make a pacifier bounce] I'm irritated!

Lou Rawls:
[singing; moves his legs] But I love the extra leg room.

Patti Smith:
[singing; points to her bellybutton] Man! They cut my cord!

Iggy Pop:
[singing; looks in his diaper] Ohoho, consider yourself lucky!

B-Real:
[singing] This world is way too big!

Iggy Pop:
[singing; baby points at Chuckie, who's pressing his face against the glass] And populated by fuzzy pigs.

Chorus:
This world is something new to me.

Fred Schneider:
[singing] This world is such a gas. [farts, causing his diaper to inflate]

Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson:
[singing] P.U., where's your class?

Chorus:
This world is something new to me.

[2 baby carriers collide with each other as the Rugrats push them around]

Beck:
[singing] Quiet! Can't a guy get some shuteye?!

[The camera zooms in on his eye]

Patti Smith:
[singing] It's so noisy in here!

Iggy Pop:
[singing] I can barely hear myself suck! [grabs a bottle from Chuckie and chugs it down]

Jakob Dylan:
[singing] The food here tastes pretty good.

Phife Dawg:
[singing] My compliments to the chef.

Dawn Robinson:
[singing] And you gotta holler to get fed.

Lou Rawls:
[singing] But I could get used to that.

[The babies cry, Chuckie falls on floor onto a light switch]

Lisa Loeb:
[singing] This world is way too bright.

Beck:
[singing] Can't somebody turn down the light?

Gordon Gano:
[singing; looks inside his diaper] So that's what that thing looks like.

Jakob Dylan:
[singing] All things here are meant for play,

[Throws a pacifier; robotic camera follows it]

Fred Schneider:
[singing] It's gonna be a real cool day.

Chorus:
This world is something new to me. [one of the newborns screams Ba-da-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu. Baby boy; "Real cool", while another one says, "La-la-la-la!". As a rainbow forms from the "fountain" at the circle-shaped light] This world is something new to me.

[Robotic camera retracts and monitor shuts off as number ends. Lou and Boris enter the nursery]

Lou Pickles:
There you are!

Boris Kropotkin:
Oy, gevalt! You kinder gave my ticker such a scare!

[Lou pick up the babies and he, Boris and the babies leave the nursery. As they leave, they shut the lights out and the rainbow from the musical number fades away]