Shrek2001

[There is a line of fairytale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairytale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Geppetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs]

Guard:
All right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!

Captain:
Next!

Guard:
[taking the witch's broom] Give me that! Your flying days are over. [breaks the broom in half]

Captain:
That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!

Guard:
Get up! Come on!

Captain:
Twenty pieces.

Little Bear:
[crying] This cage is too small.

Donkey:
Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!

Donkey's owner:
Oh, shut up. [jerks his rope]

Donkey:
Oh!

Captain:
Next! What have you got?

Geppetto:
This little wooden puppet.

Pinocchio:
I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. [his nose grows]

Captain:
Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.

Pinocchio:
Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!

[Geppetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table]

Captain:
Next! What have you got?

Donkey's owner:
Well, I've got a talking donkey.

Captain:
Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.

Donkey's owner:
Oh, go ahead, little fella.

[Donkey just looks up at her]

Captain:
Well?

Donkey's owner:
Oh, oh, he's just... he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt...

Captain:
That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!

Donkey's owner:
No, no, he talks! He does. [pretends to be Donkey] I can talk. I love to talk! I'm the talkin'est damn thing you ever saw.

Captain:
Get her outta my sight.

Owner:
No, no! I swear! He can talk!