Shrek 22004

Shrek:
Fiona? Fiona? [barges into the room along with Donkey]

[The Fairy Godmother gasps at Shrek]

Donkey:
Oh, you got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo.

Fiona:
Oh, um, Fairy Godmother, furniture, I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.

Fairy Godmother:
[confused] Your husband? What did you say? When did this happen?

Fiona:
Shrek is the one who rescued me.

Fairy Godmother:
[angrily] But that can't be right!

Shrek:
Oh, great! More relatives!

Fiona:
She's just trying to help.

Shrek:
Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.

Fiona:
What?!

Donkey:
Leaving? I don't wanna leave.

Fiona:
When did you decide this?

Shrek:
[as he is packing] Shortly after arriving.

Fiona:
[remorsefully] Look, I'm sorry...

Fairy Godmother:
No, no, no, that's okay. I need to go anyway. But remember, dear, if you should ever need me, [whips out a "Happiness" business card] happiness is just a teardrop away.

Shrek:
[rudely snatches the "Happiness" card from the Fairy Godmother] Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy...

Fairy Godmother:
So I see. [laughs in a not so good way] Let's go, Kyle. [Kyle whips the horses on the carriage and he and the Fairy Godmother leaves]

Fiona:
[sarcastically] Very nice, Shrek.

Shrek:
What? I told you that comin' here was a bad idea.

Fiona:
You could have at least tried to get along with my father.

Shrek:
You know, somehow, I don't think I was going to get daddy's blessing, even if I did want it.

Fiona:
[as a bichon Frise starts barks] Well, do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted?

Shrek:
Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?!

Fiona:
You're unbelievable! You're behavin' like a... [sighs]

Shrek:
[to Fiona] Go on, say it!

Fiona:
Like an OGRE!

Shrek:
Well, here's a newsflash for you! Whether your parents like it or not, I AM AN OGRE! [a bichon Frise continues barks, Shrek angrily roars at it to shut up]

Donkey:
Wow. So this is ward to something smells like onions.

Shrek:
And guess what, princess. That's not about to change.

Fiona:
[sadly walks to the door] I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. [leaves]

Donkey:
That's real smooth, Shrek. [mimics Shrek] "I'm an ogre! AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGHHH!!"