Shrek the Third2007

[Shrek and Puss in Boots search the hallways, looking for Artie]

Shrek:
Oh, Arthur, come out, come out, wherever you are!

[Off-screen we hear mumbling from inside a locker. Shrek and Puss in Boots look as Donkey bursts out of the locker. He has been stuffed inside. Off-screen we hear some students laughing]

Donkey:
[angrily] Yeah, you better run, you little punk no-goodniks! 'Cause the days of little Donkey Dumpy Drawers are over!

[An "I Suck-eth" sign has been taped to Donkey's butt. Shrek spots students entering the Gymnasium. They approach a hall monitor who stops them]

Hall Monitor:
Hold it.

[Two mascot costumed students walk up to the hall monitor]

Student 1:
We're here for the mascot contest.

Student 2:
Grr!

[The hall monitor waves them in. Shrek gets an idea]

Shrek:
[pleased with himself] We're here for the mascot contest, too.

Hall Monitor:
[suspicious] This is a costume? [reaches out and starts painfully pinching and pulling Shrek's skin]

Shrek:
[trying to hide the pain] Ay! Worked on it all night long. [struggling not to scream in agony]

Hall Monitor:
[lets Shrek's face snap back into the place, and still suspicious] Looks pretty real to me.

Puss in Boots:
If he were real, could I do this? [he throws his Batarangs deep into Shrek's butt]

Donkey:
Or this? [kicks Shrek hard in the groin with his hind legs]

Shrek:
[winces, sweats, and unbelievably strained] If it were real, that would have been agonizingly painful.

Donkey:
Now watch this!

Shrek:
[interrupting; through gritted teeth] That's quite enough, boys.