Ted 22015

[after Ted is fired from the grocery store, realized he is not a person]

Ted:
[reading notes from mail] "Dear Ted, your Chase Bank account has been terminated due to a lack of citizenship." "Dear Ted, your Discover card has been revoked." "Dear Ted, you are no longer a Papa Gino's rewards member." F***, that's a big one.

Tami-Lynn:
[sad; looking at baby's shoes] This poor baby booty. It's always gonna be empty. There's never gonna be a little foot in here.

Ted:
I don't understand. We would have made such great parents.

Tami-Lynn:
[discovers a note] Oh, my god. Oh, my god, Teddy!

Ted:
[takes his reading glasses off] What? What's wrong?

Tami-Lynn:
Look at this. [reads it] "Dear Ted, the state of Massachusetts regrets to inform you that due to an oversight regarding your legal status, your marriage to Tami-Lynn McCafferty is unrecognized by the state, and, therefore, invalid and hereby annulled." Teddy, can they do this to us?

Ted:
[snatches the note] Let me see that. [reads it, and feels shocked at it] This is a nightmare.