China, Il2011

Flowers Woman:
Hello. 1-800-Flowers. How may I --

Frank Smith:
[interrupt] I got 30 bucks. What can I get?

Flowers Woman:
Well, um, okay. It seems we have only one bouquet under $40.

Frank Smith:
Credit card number is 4507-3300-0000-0022. Expiration 02/18.

Flowers Woman:
Let me give you a confirmation number.

Frank Smith:
Just send it to 679 Oak Street, China, Illinois, 60010 asap, okay? We done?

Flowers Woman:
Uh, sure. We'll get that "I love you more than anything" bouquet right out.

Frank Smith:
WAIT! NO! NO! NO! THAT COULD BE CONSTRUED AS ROMANTIC! AAH! [hangs up]

[Frank calls another flower employee]

Flowers Guy:
1-800-Flow--

Frank Smith:
Hey, I need to cancel an order I just made!

Flowers Guy:
Greta. Can I get a confirmation number?

Frank Smith:
I DON'T HAVE THAT YOU NAZI! PLEASE!

Flowers Guy:
Well, I can transfer you to a local delivery.

Frank Smith:
Yes! Do it!

[Flowers Delivery Guy takes his place as his caller]

Flowers Delivery Guy:
Local Flower Delivery, how may I --

Frank Smith:
Hey, listen, I got to cancel an order.

Flowers Delivery Guy:
Whoa! You're breaking the protocol. Now...how may I help you today?

Frank Smith:
I need to cancel an order for Frank Smith.

Flowers Delivery Guy:
Can I get the confirmation number?

Frank Smith:
[sarcastic] Oh, shoot. I've misplace it. Darn.

Flowers Delivery Guy:
Sorry. No confirmation, no nothing.

Frank Smith:
AAH! YOU CAT SH*T! HELP ME!! CANCEL IT!!

Flowers Delivery Guy:
I've never failed in completing a delivery, and this "I love you more than anything" bouquet will make it to Crystal Peppers, PERIOD!

Frank Smith:
[kick and bangs the table several times] OH, MY GOD!! GODDAMN IT! GAAH!