China, Il2011

Steve:
So, there I was on the beach wearing an open, flowing white linen shirt, Chinos rolled up, and I got this horse for this girl. And the girl is set to pop, by the way. She's ready to rumble on my crumble, but this f***ing horse, man. The guy I rented him from was all like, "Yeah, he'll run on the beach like he's staring in a slo-mo tampon commercial", but this horse was like, "This piece of sh*t is gonna make me run on this f***ing beach, so...I just tied him to a piece of driftwood, and me and this girl laid down on all this weird kelp, and, I mean, it was cool because I was -- I was way drunk, but, uh, I-I swear, while we were doing it, I saw this guy who looked like...Shaq...but also Slash, just pushed together. I couldn't stop looking at him, and during -- During the sex, I accidentally called the girl "Slaq".

Steve:
Oh, man. I mean, she didn't care. I was the end of the summer, and she was going back to Australia. I mean...I think she was, like, a cellist or something. She was great, though.