China, Il

China, Il2011

Director: Brad Neely
Genre: Comedy
China, IL (meaning China, Illinois) is an American adult animated sitcom created by Brad Neely for the Adult Swim programming block on Cartoon Network. The series was originally conceived as a web series on Adult Swim's defunct comedy website,… more »



Steve Smith:
So, there I was on the beach wearing an open, flowing white linen shirt, Chinos rolled up, and I got this horse for this girl. And the girl is set to pop, by the way. She's ready to rumble on my crumble, but this f***ing horse, man. The guy I rented him from was all like, "Yeah, he'll run on the beach like he's staring in a slo-mo tampon commercial", but this horse was like, "This piece of sh*t is gonna make me run on this f***ing beach, so...I just tied him to a piece of driftwood, and me and this girl laid down on all this weird kelp, and, I mean, it was cool because I was -- I was way drunk, but, uh, I-I swear, while we were doing it, I saw this guy who looked like...Shaq...but also Slash, just pushed together. I couldn't stop looking at him, and during -- During the sex, I accidentally called the girl "Slaq".

Steve Smith:
Oh, man. I mean, she didn't care. I was at the end of the summer, and she was going back to Australia. I mean...I think she was, like, a cellist or something. She was great, though.

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Submitted by timothyj.29104 on September 03, 2024

Modified by timothyj.29104 on November 19, 2024


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    "China, Il Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/1282751>.

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