Mary Shelley's Frankenhole2010

Frankenstein's Creation:
Must make head square.

Stewart:
Ahem.

Frankenstein's Creation:
Ohh! Hello, Mr. Lawrence.

Stewart:
Ah, please. Call me Stewart. Why are you volunteering to change the way you look?

Frankenstein's Creation:
Oh, I-I-I was just, uh...experimenting with my appearance.

Stewart:
[depressed] Golly. It must be nice to choose your fate.

Frankenstein's Creation:
Oh? Doest thou think this angular mud pack flatters my vi--

Stewart:
Me! I'm cursed, you see I got a nice mug during the day. Sure, everyone says it. I'm easy on the eyes, brother. But then at night -- At night, things change.

Frankenstein's Creation:
Yes, yes. You transform into a lycanthrope.

Stewart:
Don't you got eyeballs! I'm dreamy, brother. Can't you see that? I'm a handsome man, see, who says his prayers, I tell ya. But then I turn into an unsightly werewolf.

Frankenstein's Creation:
Uh... [leaves]

Stewart:
[sobs] I tell you. I don't want to be ugly. Oh, woe is me!

[suddenly a squid arm touches Stewart]

Stewart:
[slaps the squid arm] Ah, leave me alone, you jerk.