The Xtacles2008

Jack Taggart:
So, Rapier Ape. We meet again.

Rapier Ape:
I don't even know who you people are!

Jack Taggart:
Surrender now or die.

Rapier Ape:
I surrender, that's a no-brainer.

Jack Taggart:
Too late!

[Jack punches Rapier Ape's stomach]

Rapier Ape:
Please, you don't understand!

Jack Taggart:
These fists do all the understanding I need, and guess what -- They get it.

[Jack finishes off Rapier Ape with his last punch]

Police Officer:
Hi! We got a report from a man threatening to rape someone?

Jack Taggart:
Just in time, officers. This statue-raping piece of garbage was about to confess.

[Rapier Ape spits out one of his teeth after getting punched]

Rapier Ape:
[bruised] There they go. [spits] There they go.

Police Officer:
Sounds guilty to me.

Chase Fontaine:
He'll be going to prison for a long time. Where he'll never be able to rape again.

Parrot:
[squawks] Its a living.

Jack Taggart:
Rapier Ape. Consider yourself retired!

Rapier Ape:
I AM RETIRED!

Jack Taggart:
Xtacle style. [punches Rapier Ape]

Chase Fontaine:
Anti-rape boosh.

Police Officer:
Hey, uh, you mind if I get a couple in there?

Jack Taggart:
Sure. Many and Moe here could use a little break. [talking about his fists]

Police Officer:
Nice.

Rapier Ape:
No, please.

Police Officer:
[punches Rapier Ape several times] TAKE IT! TAKE IT! TAKE IT!

Camera Reporter Man:
Smile for me, Rapier Ape! I'm gonna put you in the papers! [takes a photo] You sick son of a b*tch.

Joseph Bigsby:
This show doesn't make any sense. Where did all those other pirates get laser guns from?

Mr. Ford:
You mean the Xtacles?

Joseph Bigsby:
Those are the Xtacles? Geez. I gotta go! [leaves]

Mr. Ford:
Good thing I got drunk for this. [drinks from his binoculars]