Mary Shelley's Frankenhole2010

Victor Frankenstein:
That's the second time today someone's insinuated that I was jealous. First Elizabeth with the Invisible Man...

Joe Yunger:
That guy? Man, I saw him when he was visible, and that dude needed a nose job like nobody's business.

Victor Frankenstein:
And she thought I'd be jealous of him!

Joe Yunger:
Look, man, if you don't act jealous, hell, that's proof enough, ain't it?

Victor Frankenstein:
You're right, Joe. My actions speak louder than my words. In fact, I'll even take further action and take out a singles ad in the local paper soliciting men to come and have sex with my wife!

Joe Yunger:
I think that might be goin' just a little bit too far.

Victor Frankenstein:
Nonsense! Ygor, write this down! "Wanted -- Any and all men to have sexual intercourse with my loving and caring wife. No strings or jealousy attached"!

[Victor suddenly bumps into Griffin]

Victor Frankenstein:
Ah, hello, Griffin. We were just talking about you.

The Invisible Man:
Oh? Good, I hope.

Victor Frankenstein:
Well, you inspired this ad I'm putting in the local paper for men to come around my place to screw Elizabeth.

The Invisible Man:
[interested] Really? Count me in.

[Griffin then suddenly grows a large private area]

Victor Frankenstein:
[shudders] Oh, my god! It's huge!

The Invisible Man:
What?

Victor Frankenstein:
Um, your nose.

The Invisible Man:
Damn steam! You don't have a steam bath in your house, do you?

Victor Frankenstein:
No.

The Invisible Man:
Oh, great! Don't let me stop you writing that ad.

Victor Frankenstein:
Huh? Oh, oh. Yes, yes. [chuckles] Quite right. Um... "My wife is a very beautiful and healthy female. Um... [to Ygor] "No STDS. Although, she...is...allergic to large penises"! Yes! "So none of those please. All others interested, come and get it this friday night"! Ygor, write down my address and call it in to the paper for immediate distribution!

Ygor:
[laughing] You got it!

The Invisible Man:
So, how large a penis is she allergic to?

Victor Frankenstein:
Oh, about, uh...thiiiiiiis big. [smiles]

The Invisible Man:
Oh.

Victor Frankenstein:
[chuckles] Sorry, old cork.