Eagleheart2011

[Chris and Brett head to a chinese restaurant]

Chris Monsanto:
Well, I don't see any mountain lion on the menu, unless "delight" means "mountain lion", in which case, everything is mountain lion. Uh, Garcon.

Garcon:
Are you waiting to order?

Chris Monsanto:
Uh-huh. Let's start with an order of um, [chinese accent] ban quai dei dan quan quan quan dei ban quai quang dei. And then, um, let's get, for the table, just one big [chinese accent] ban qua gei hey hey ba qua kong quang quang heng wan ah.

Garcon:
I, um -- I go get manager.

Susie Wagner:
Chris, what the hell are you doing?

Chris Monsanto:
Come on. Everybody knows that the Chinese language is just a series of made-up nonsense sounds. And now this guy knows that we're not amateurs right off the banana boat. Believe me -- This is all working according to my plan, okay.

Chinese Restaurant Manager:
Is there a problem with the service?

Susie Wagner:
Uh...we're interested in ordering...off the menu, something cooked to...purrfection.

Brett Mobley:
Mountain lions.

Chinese Restaurant Manager:
We do not serve mountain lions, sir.

Chris Monsanto:
Honey, one of those mountain lions you swiped from that den happens to be a dear old bosom mate of mine. Now, where is he?

Chinese Restaurant Manager:
Enough. For years, people say, "Chinese eat dogs". "Chinese eat cats". Now mountain lions? You know how many years we've fought these ugly stereotypes? Shame on you! [leaves]

Chris Monsanto:
[scoffs] Don't know what that was all about. [chuckles]

Susie Wagner:
You should probably go apologize to her.

Chris Monsanto:
I'm not -- I...oh, fine. I'll go sprinkle a little sugar on her ass.