Bergerac1981

[Jim meets Deffand for the first time. Deffand is thoroughly obnoxious to Jim, as he is to everyone]

Inspector Victor Deffand:
Who are you?

Jim Bergerac:
Bergerac, Jim Bergerac. And you?

Inspector Victor Deffand:
Inspector Deffand.

Jim Bergerac:
Oh yes. I'm looking for DC Lomas.

Inspector Victor Deffand:
[patronisingly] Bergerac. *Mister* Bergerac. There used to be a Bergerac who worked here. A sergeant. But he left the place such an ill-disciplined shambles I don't expect *that* Bergerac would dare show his face again. Not here.

Jim Bergerac:
I *was* looking for DC Lomas.

Inspector Victor Deffand:
[peremptorily] Why?

Jim Bergerac:
Well that's between him and me, isn't it?

Inspector Victor Deffand:
Business only here, Mr Bergerac. No secrets. What do you want him for?

Inspector Victor Deffand:
What rank are you?

Inspector Victor Deffand:
Detective Inspector.

Jim Bergerac:
No, I mean in private life. In the big wide world outside this place.

Inspector Victor Deffand:
Don't play games with me, Bergerac.

Jim Bergerac:
*Mister* Bergerac. You see, you only outrank the boys in here. Outside, in the *real* world, in real life, you don't outrank *anyone*. More specifically, you don't outrank me. So could you please try and be civil.