Breaking Bad2008

Walter White:
I've been to my oncologist, Jesse. Just last week. I'm still in remission. I'm healthy.

Jesse Pinkman:
That's good. Great.

Walter White:
No end in sight.

Jesse Pinkman:
That's great.

Walter White:
No. I missed it. There was some perfect moment that passed me right by, but I had to have enough to leave them. That was the whole point. None of this makes any sense if I didn't have enough. And it had to be before she found out. Skyler. It had to be before that.

Jesse Pinkman:
Perfect moment? For what? To drop dead? Are you saying you want to die?

Walter White:
I'm saying that I lived too long. You want them to actually miss you. You want their memories of you to be... but she just won't... she just won't understand. I mean, no matter how well I explain it, these days she just has this... this... I mean, I truly believe there exists some combination of words. There must exist certain words in a certain specific order that can explain all of this, but with her I just can't ever seem to find them.

Jesse Pinkman:
Mr. White, why don't you just sit down?

Walter White:
You know, I was thinking before the fugue state, but during the fugue state I didn't have enough money, so no, not then. And plus my daughter wasn't born yet. It had to be after Holly was born.

Jesse Pinkman:
Mr. White...

Walter White:
Definitely before the surgery. Ah Christ, that damn second cell phone. I mean, how could I possibly?... Oh, I know the moment. It was the night Jane died. I was at home and we needed diapers and so I said I'd go, but it was just an excuse. Actually that was the night I brought you your money, remember?

Jesse Pinkman:
Yeah. I remember.

Walter White:
And afterward I stopped at a bar. It was odd, I never do that - go to a bar alone. I just walked in, sat down. I never told you.

Jesse Pinkman:
You went to a bar?

Walter White:
I sit down and this man, this stranger, he engages me in conversation. He's a complete stranger. But he turns out to be Jane's father, Donald Margolis.

Jesse Pinkman:
What are you talking about?

Walter White:
Of course I didn't know it at the time. I mean, he's just some guy in a bar. I just didn't put it together until after the crash when he was all over the news.

Jesse Pinkman:
Jane's dad?

Walter White:
Think of the odds. Once I tried to calculate them, but they're astronomical. I mean, think of the odds of me going in and sitting down that night, in that bar, next to that man.

Jesse Pinkman:
What'd you talk about?

Walter White:
Water on mars. Family.

Jesse Pinkman:
What about family?

Walter White:
I told him that I had a daughter and he told me he had one, too. And he said, "Never give up on family." And I didn't. I took his advice. My God, the universe is random, it's not inevitable, it's simple chaos. It's subatomic particles in endless, aimless collision. That's what science teaches us, but what does this say? What is it telling us that the very night that this man's daughter dies, it's me who is having a drink with him? I mean, how could that be random?

Jesse Pinkman:
Hey, sit down.

Walter White:
No, no, it's, uh... Oh, that was the moment. That night. I should never have left home. Never gone to your house. Maybe things would have... Oh, I was... I was at home watching TV. Some nature program about elephants... and Skyler and Holly were in another room. I can hear them on the baby monitor. She was singing a lullaby. Oh, if I had just lived right up to that moment... and not one second more. That would have been perfect.