Breaking Bad

Saul Goodman:
Better call Saul!

[repeated line]

Jesse Pinkman:
B*tch!

Mike:
No more half measures.

Walter White:
I won.

Jesse Pinkman:
So you do have a plan? Yeah, Mr. White! Yeah, science!

Jesse Pinkman:
Nah, come on man. Some straight like you, giant stick up his ass at like what, sixty, he's just gonna break bad?

Walter White:
I am not in danger, I am the danger.

Walter White:
I've got your restraining order right here. [grabs crotch] Restrain this!

Jesse Pinkman:
I'm a blowfish, yo!

Walter White:
Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much I make a year? I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going into work? A business big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly up. Disappears. It ceases to exist, without me. No, you clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I AM the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot, and you think that of me? No! I am the one who knocks!

Jesse Pinkman:
[triumphantly] Yeah, b*tch!

Walter White:
I watched Jane die. I was there. And I watched her die.

Skyler White:
Walter, if I have to hear one more f***ing time that you did it for the family...

Walter White:
I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And... I was really... I was alive.

Walter White:
Never give up control.

Skyler White:
And why did it feel so good?

Walter White:
Because it's illegal.

Jesse Pinkman:
Blowfish this up.

Walter White:
Let's break it down. Hydrogen. What does that give us?

Gretchen Schwartz:
We're looking at 63%.

Walter White:
Sixty-three, that is a big bite. My next step's gotta be oxygen.

Gretchen Schwartz:
Oxygen, 26%.

Walter White:
Twenty-six. There you have your water.

Gretchen Schwartz:
Carbon, 9%.

Walter White:
Carbon, 9.

Gretchen Schwartz:
For a total of 98%.

Walter White:
Right.

Gretchen Schwartz:
Nitrogen, 1.25%.

Walter White:
One-point-two-five.

Gretchen Schwartz:
That brings you to 99 and a quarter. Which only leaves you with the trace elements down where the magic happens.

Walter White:
Oh, wait a minute. What about calcium? Calcium's not a trace. Got a whole skeleton to account for.

Gretchen Schwartz:
You would think, right? Calcium's only 0.25%.

Walter White:
What? That low? Seriously? Damn, I never would've thought that. Okay, so where does iron fit in.

Gretchen Schwartz:
Iron. 0.00004%

Walter White:
What? You can't have hemoglobin without iron.

Gretchen Schwartz:
Apparently, it don't take take much. No doubt. Go figure.

Walter White:
Sodium.

Gretchen Schwartz:
Sodium, 0.04%. Phosphorus, 0.19%.

Walter White:
Point-one-nine. There we go. So the whole thing adds up to... 99.888042%. We are 0.111958%. Shy.

Gretchen Schwartz:
Supposedly that's everything.

Walter White:
Yeah? I don't know, it just... it seems like something's missing, doesn't it? There's got to be more to a human being than that.

Gretchen Schwartz:
What about the soul?

Walter White:
The soul? There's nothing but chemistry here.

Krazy-8:
Walter, I don't know what you think you're doing here, but trust me, this line of work doesn't suit you.

Jesse Pinkman:
Back off man, Jesus.

Walter White:
We've got work to do.

Jesse Pinkman:
No, no. You. you've got work to do. I did my part.

Walter White:
You mean that obscenity that I spent the last two hour cleaning up? That is your contribution?

Jesse Pinkman:
Yo kiss my pink ass man. I didn't ask for any of this. Alright how am I supposed to live here now huh? My whole house smells like toe cheese and dry cleaning.

Walter White:
Because you didn't follow my instructions.

Jesse Pinkman:
Oh, well heil Hitler b*tch and let me tell you something else. We flipped a coin. OK, you and me. You and me. Coin flip is sacred. Your job is waiting for you in that basement, as per the coin. F***ing do it already.

Hank Schrader:
So, why did the little hair-gel sh*t leave his car? Aye yi yi, Gomey. It's a culture in decline.

Steven Gomez:
It's a rich and vibrant culture.

Hank Schrader:
It's a car that jumps up and down. What the hell, you people used to be conquistadors for Christ sake. Smells like a Drakkar Noir factory in here.

Steven Gomez:
I already searched it.

Hank Schrader:
Yeah.

Steven Gomez:
You're wasting your time. Give it up. If this here is a trap car, it's going to take more than your dumb white ass to find it.

Hank Schrader:
Oh yeah? You are talking to the trap car master my friend. I'm rain man counting his toothpicks.

Steven Gomez:
Yeah, you're like rainman... retarded.

Hank Schrader:
[find hidden compartment] Ha ha ha ha ha, yeah baby. Hello Zippy.

Steven Gomez:
A**hole.

Walter White:
Skyler, there's something I have to tell you.

Krazy-8:
Unlock me, Walter.

Walter White:
[crying] The moment I do, are you going to stick me with that broken piece of plate?

Walter White:
You didn't follow my instructions!

Jesse Pinkman:
Oh well, heil Hitler, b*tch!

Jesse Pinkman:
Yo, yo, yo! 1-4-8-3 to the 3 to the 6 to the 9. representin' the ABQ. What up, Biatch? Leave at the tone.

Walter White:
You didn't follow my instructions!

Jesse Pinkman:
Oh Heil Hitler b*tch!

Jesse Pinkman:
Battery's dead.

Walter H. White:
Jesse. Back when I asked you to put the keys in a safe place, where did you put them?

Jesse Pinkman:
I left them right here. In the, um... the ignition.

Walter H. White:
Son of a b*tch!

Jesse Pinkman:
Whoa whoa. No, this is not my fault, alright? The buzzer didn't buzz.

Walter H. White:
The WHAT?

Jesse Pinkman:
The buzzer! The buzzer that buzzes when you put the keys in. To like let you know that the battery's on. I know that! It didn't buzz. Look, I didn't turn the key or anything, alright? I'm not stupid. Did you hear the buzzer buzz? I did not... It's faulty, it's a faulty mechanism.

Walter H. White:
Is this just a genetic thing with you? Is it congenital? Did your, did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby?

Jesse Pinkman:
THE BUZZER DID NOT BUZZ and you were the one that made me move the keys in the first place, REMEMBER?

Walter H. White:
Yes, I see your point. Your imbecility being what it is, I should have known to say JESSE, DON'T LEAVE THE KEYS IN THE IGNITION THE ENTIRE TWO DAYS.

Jesse Pinkman:
I wanted to leave them on the counter. B*TCH. Oh, I'm sorry, oh, the "work station". Jesus.

Walter H. White:
Okay, just... Alright so, we need to jump the battery somehow.

Jesse Pinkman:
Okay. How?

Walter H. White:
Jesse. Jesse. Your body is running dangerously low on electrolytes. Sodium, potassium, calcium. And when they're gone, your brain ceases to communicate with your muscles. Your lungs stop breathing. Your heart stops pumping. You go marching out there and within an hour you will be dead.

Jesse Pinkman:
Okay. You need to cut out all your loser cry-baby crap RIGHT NOW and think of something SCIENTIFIC.

Walter H. White:
Something scientific? Right.

Jesse Pinkman:
What? Come on! Man, you're smart. You made poison out of beans, yo. Look, we got, we got an entire lab right here. Alright? How about you pick some of these chemicals and mix up some rocket fuel? That way you could just send up a signal flare. Or you make some kind of robot to get us help, or a homing device, or build a new battery, or... Wait. No. What if we just take some stuff off of the RV and build it into something completely different? You know, like a... Like a dune buggy. That way, we can just dune buggy or... What? Hey? What is it? What?

Walter H. White:
[starts to get up]

Jesse Pinkman:
What? Hey? What is it? What?

Walter H. White:
Do you, do you have any money? Change, I mean. Coins.

Jesse Pinkman:
Yeah, I got a bunch of them. From the...

Walter H. White:
Okay.

Jesse Pinkman:
YES!

Walter H. White:
Gather them, and, and, and the washers and nuts and bolts and screws and whatever little pieces of metal we can think of that is galvanized. It has to be galvanized, or solid zinc.

Jesse Pinkman:
Solid zinc, okay.

Walter H. White:
And, and bring me, bring me brake pads. The front wheels should have discs. Take them off and bring them to me.

Jesse Pinkman:
Alright, brake pads. Okay. What are we building?

Walter H. White:
You said it yourself.

Jesse Pinkman:
A robot?

Walter H. White:
A battery. MOVE!

Walter H. White:
You brought a meth lab to the airport?

Walter H. White:
Smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos and masturbating do not constitute 'plans' in my book.

Saul Goodman:
Congratulations, you've just left your family a second-hand Subaru.

Walter White:
You brought a meth lab to the airport?

Jesse Pinkman:
I got two dudes that turned into raspberry slushie then flushed down my toilet. I can't even take a proper dump in there. I mean, the whole damn house has got to be haunted by now.

Skyler White:
[after intense sex in the car] Where did that come from? And why was it so damn good?

Walter White:
Because it was illegal.

Jesse Pinkman:
[reading a shopping list from Walter] Y'know Mr. White. I can't even PRONOUNCE half this sh*t!

Jesse Pinkman:
[when someone tries to see the basement which has been converted into a meth lab] YOU AINT SEEIN THE BASEMENT B*TCH! You got that? That sinkin' in? Out, all of you, house not for sale!

Mike:
I woke up, I found her, that's all I know.

Mike:
Saul Goodman sent me.

Skyler White:
Flynn, get your butt in here!

Skyler White:
But then... I called your mother. Yeah, thanks for that too. But I thought, maybe she has some money that I don't know about. Maybe she contributed. It's possible. But it turns out that not only the money is not from your mother... she didn't even know that you have cancer. You never went to see her. I - I dropped you off at the airport, and then I picked you up. You were gone for four days... and, yet she swears, that you were never there. Lies on top of lies, on top of lies...

Saul Goodman:
[Talking to Skyler after Walt introduced his wife to Saul] Walter never told me how lucky he was. Clearly his taste in women is the same as his taste in lawyers : only the very best... with just a right amount of dirty!

Gustavo 'Gus' Fring:
You are a wealthy man now. And one must learn to be rich. To be poor, anyone can manage.

Walter White:
What advice do you have for me?

Gustavo 'Gus' Fring:
Never make the same mistake twice.

Saul Goodman:
If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once told a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked because I believed it.

Jesse Pinkman:
[looking at the painting "My Last Door" by Georgia O'Keeffe] Yo, I thought I was gonna see some, like, vaginas.

Jane Margolis:
I didn't say she actually painted vaginas. I said, some of her paintings looked like vaginas.

Jesse Pinkman:
Uh, seriously? Not even close.

Jane Margolis:
Georgia O'Keeffe painted all kinds of stuff. Everyday items, her surroundings. Some of it evoked an erotic nature. It's who she was.

Jesse Pinkman:
Not like any vagina I ever saw. This chick have medical issues?

Jane Margolis:
This particular painting... is of a door.

Jesse Pinkman:
Any other doors we can check out? Like, real ones or...

Jesse Pinkman:
You know, I don't get it. Why would anyone paint a picture of a door, over and over again, like, dozens of times?

Jane Margolis:
But it wasn't the same.

Jesse Pinkman:
Yeah, it was.

Jane Margolis:
It was the same subject, but it was different every time. The light was different, her mood was different. She saw something new every time she painted it.

Jesse Pinkman:
And that's not psycho to you?

Jane Margolis:
Well, then why should we do anything more than once? Should I just smoke this one cigarette? Maybe we should only have sex once, if it's the same thing.

Jesse Pinkman:
...no.

Jane Margolis:
Should we just watch one sunset? Or live just one day? Because it's new every time. Each time is a different experience.

Jesse Pinkman:
Okay, fine. I guess the cow skull pictures were cool, but a door? I will say it again. A door.

Jane Margolis:
Why not a door? Sometimes you get fixated on something, and you might not even get why. You open yourself up and go with the flow, wherever the universe takes you.

Jesse Pinkman:
Okay, so the universe took her to a door. And she got all obesessed with it, and just had to paint it 20 times until it was perfect.

Jane Margolis:
No. I wouldn't say that. Nothing's perfect.

Jesse Pinkman:
Yeah? Well, I mean,

[looking to her]

Jesse Pinkman:
some things.

Jane Margolis:
Aww, that was so sweet, I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Jesse Pinkman:
You can't admit, just for once, that I'm right. Come on. That O'Keeffe lady kept trying over and over until that stupid door was perfect.

Jane Margolis:
No. That door was her home and she loved it. To me, that's about making that feeling last.

Marie Schrader:
Pain is weakness leaving your body.

Hank Schrader:
Pain is my foot in your ass, Marie.

Marie Schrader:
Hey, if you can get your leg up that high, I say go for it.

Jesse Pinkman:
I accept who I am.

Walter White:
And who are you?

Jesse Pinkman:
I'm the bad guy.

Walter H. White:
This only works if they're scared of you

Walter H. White:
What are you offering me?

Saul Goodman:
What did Tom Hagen do for Vito Corleone?

Walter H. White:
I'm no Vito Corleone.

Saul Goodman:
No Sh*t! Right now you're Fredo!

Saul Goodman:
I'm gonna get you a second phone call, OK? You're gonna call your mommy or your daddy or your parish priest or your boy scout leader, and they're gonna deliver me a check for $4650.00. I'm gonna write that down on the back of my business card. Four, Six, Five, Zero, OK? And I need that in a cashiers check or a money order, doesn't matter. Actually, ah, I want it in a money order and ah, make it out to "Ice Station Zebra Associates." That's my loan out. It's totally legit... its done just for tax purposes. After that we can discuss Visa or Mastercard, but definitely not American Express, so don't even ask, alright? Any questions?

Saul Goodman:
Better safe than sorry. That's my motto.

Saul Goodman:
Faith and begorrah! A fellow potato eater! My real name's McGill. The Jew thing I just do for the homeboys. They all want a pipe-hitting member of the tribe, so to speak...

Walter White:
I have spent my whole life scared. Frightened of things that could happen; might happen; might not happen. 50 years I've spent like that. Finding myself awake at 3am. But you know what? Ever since my diagnosis, I sleep just fine. I came to realize it's that fear is the worst of it, that's the real enemy. So, get up, get out in the real world and you kick that bastard as hard as you can, right in the teeth.

Jesse Pinkman:
You don't want a criminal lawyer... you want a "criminal" lawyer,

Getz:
[Interrogating Badger] Hey, I'm trying to help ya here, man. Now, if you just tell me who your supplier is, I think this can end very well for you.

Saul Goodman:
EHHHHH! Whaddya doin' Detective? What're you doin' talkin' to my client without me present? You Sneaky Pete! Which is which? What'd the academy hire you right outta the womb? You guys get younger every...

Saul Goodman:
[Turning to Badger]

Saul Goodman:
What'd you say to Babyface? Huh? Didja say anything stupid? And by "anything stupid" I mean anything at all!

Badger:
I... I, uh...

Saul Goodman:
Ah, look at you, mouth open, vocal chords all atwitter! Yeah, we'll talk about that later!

Saul Goodman:
[Turns back to Getz]

Saul Goodman:
Right now, you, OUT! TEN MINUTES AGO. There are laws, Detective, have your kindergarten teacher read 'em to ya! Right, go grab a juice box, have a nap, go on!

Saul Goodman:
[Counseling Badger]

Saul Goodman:
Alright, who do we have?

Badger:
Brandon Mayhew.

Saul Goodman:
"Brandon Mayhew." Alright. "Brandon Mayhew." Ahhhh, here we go; "public masturbation."

Badger:
What?

Saul Goodman:
I don't get it, what's the kick? Why doncha do it at home like the rest of us, with a big flat-screen TV, 50 channels of pay-per-view? In a Starbucks, that's nice!

Badger:
That ain't me, man! I was the guy selling meth... allegedly...

Saul Goodman:
[Flipping through files... ]

Saul Goodman:
Ok, alright, I gotcha. Meth, right? That was just a little transpositional error, nothin' a little white out can take care of.

Walter White:
My wife is seven months pregnant with a baby we didn't intend. My fifteen-year old son has cerebral palsy. I am an extremely overqualified high school chemistry teacher. When I can work, I make $43,700 per year. I have watched all of my colleagues and friends surpass me in every way imaginable. And within eighteen months, I will be dead. And you ask why I ran?

Marie Schrader:
Well, which supermarket? Is it like a big one? Like a chain?

Skyler White:
Marie...

Marie Schrader:
Don't get me wrong. I think it's just great that he's, y'know, back and he's feeling better. I just, I mean, he... naked. He was NAKED, naked in a supermarket! It wasn't Whole Foods, was it?

Hank Schrader:
It was you. All along it was you! You son of a b*tch! You drove into traffic to keep me from that laundry!

Walter White:
Calm down.

Hank Schrader:
That call I got telling me Marie was in the hospital... that wasn't Pinkman. You had my cell number. You killed ten witnesses to save your sorry ass. You bombed a nursing home! Heisenberg... Heisenberg! You lying two-faced sack of sh*t!

Walter White:
Hank... Look, I... I don't know where this is coming from, but just let...

Hank Schrader:
I swear to Christ... I will put you under the jail.

Walter White:
Just take a breath, okay? Just listen to yourself! These wild accusations, they could destroy our family - and for what?

Hank Schrader:
Like you give a sh*t about family!

Walter White:
Hank, my cancer is back.

Hank Schrader:
Good. Rot, you son of a b*tch.

Walter White:
I'm sorry you feel this way. I want to beat this thing, I do. I'm back on chemo and I'm fighting like hell. But the truth is... in six months you won't have someone to prosecute. Even, even if somehow you were able to convince anyone that I was capable of doing these things. You and I both know I would never see the inside of a jail cell. I'm a dying man who runs a car wash. My right hand to God, that's all that I am. What's the point?

Hank Schrader:
Have Skyler bring the kids here, and then we'll talk.

Walter White:
That is not going to happen.

Hank Schrader:
I don't know who you are... I don't even know who I'm talking to...

Walter White:
If that's true... If you don't know who I am, then... maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.

Walter White:
If that's true... if you don't know who I am... maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.

Walter White:
If you don't know who you're talking to you better thread lightly.

Hank Schrader:
I don't know who you are. I don't even know who I'm talking to.

Walter White:
If that's true, if you don't know who I am... then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.

Gale Boetticher:
I doff my proverbial cap to you, sir!

Gustavo 'Gus' Fring:
Well? Get back to work.

Jesse Pinkman:
At least we all understand each other now.

Walter White:
What do you mean?

Jesse Pinkman:
I mean, him and us, we get it. [Makes cutting motion on his neck]

Jesse Pinkman:
We're all on the same page.

Walter White:
And what page is that?

Jesse Pinkman:
The one that says if I can't kill you, you'll sure as sh*t wish you were dead.

Marie Schrader:
So? Tell me all about it. I heard you broke new ground today.

Hank Schrader:
I *broke new ground?*

Marie Schrader:
That's what he said. Tell me.

Hank Schrader:
*sigh* I walked 16 feet in 20 minutes. Which is up from like 15 1/2 yesterday. And I had maybe *this much* less sh*t in my pants, so yeah Marie, if you and him everybody else in America secretly took a vote, and changed the meaning of the entire English language, yeah, I guess I "broke new ground."

Marie Schrader:
You're ordering a new rock?

Hank Schrader:
I'm *bidding* on a new *mineral.*

Jesse Pinkman:
Jane, I gotta say, this place is awesome!

Jane Margolis:
Really? Does it inspire awe?

Walter White:
...that leaves us with a total of two choices. We go into business with yet another homicidal lunatic... or you and I start - You selling whatever you can.

Jesse Pinkman:
There's a third way.

Walter White:
And what would that be?

Jesse Pinkman:
We got to be Tuco.

Skyler White:
When I input everything into the Quicken, nothing flashed red, so that's gotta mean it's OK, right?

CID Special Agent:
Quicken. You used Quicken to manage books for a business this size.

Skyler White:
I did. Oh, do you guys use that here? Cuz it is THE best. It's like having a calculator on your computer.

Jesse Pinkman:
Can you walk?

Walter White:
Yeah.

Jesse Pinkman:
Then get the f*** out and never come back.

Walter White:
[Confronting Jesse over his failed attempt at poisoning Gus] Two hours and eighteen minutes and you couldn't figure out a way to give it to him?

Jesse Pinkman:
He never left the room!

Walter White:
Oh you lying little sh*t! You had one thing to do, one thing! That is the only thing, I might add, that might have save our lives. And you were right there, you were in his house! And you didn't have the guts to do it.

Jesse Pinkman:
[suspiciously] Two hours and eighteen minutes?

Walter White:
You had no intention of killing him, did you?

Jesse Pinkman:
How did you know I was at his house last night? Were you following me?

Walter White:
[Walt takes out the tracking device and throws it to Jesse] This. This is how I knew.

Jesse Pinkman:
You bugged my car?

Walter White:
7:10 to 9:28 pm. Two hours and eighteen minutes but you had no intentions, did you? Not the slightest intention.

Jesse Pinkman:
Everything that I have done for you...

Walter White:
Oh!

Jesse Pinkman:
You put a bug on MY car?

Walter White:
I'm sorry, after everything you've done for me? What you've done for me? You've killed me is what you've done! You've signed my death warrant. And now you want advice? I'll give you advice: Go to Mexico and screw up like I know you will. And wind up in a barrel somewhere!

[Jesse angrily throws the device hard at Walt]

Walter White:
How did everything get so screwed up?

Saul Goodman:
Yeah, you do seem to have a little "sh*t creek" action going. [pause]

Saul Goodman:
You know, FYI, you can buy a paddle.

Mike:
You're on thin ice, you little shithead. You know that?

Jesse Pinkman:
You ain't gonna smoke that dude in there. You know how I know? 'cause you went to the trouble of putting a blindfold on him.

Jesse Pinkman:
Are we in the meth business, or the money business?

Jesse Pinkman:
I, uh, I eat a lot of frozen stuff. It's usually pretty bad. I mean, the pictures are always so awesome, you know? It's like, "Hell yeah, I'm stoked for this lasagna!" And then you nuke it, and the cheese gets all scabby on top, and it's like... it's like you're eating a scab... I mean, seriously, what's that about? It's like, yo, what ever happened to truth in advertising? [chuckles] You know?

[last lines]

Mike Ehrmantraut:
Is that true, Walter?

Walter White:
Everybody wins.

Todd:
You guys didn't tell me that this stuff smells like cat piss. [Lights cigarette and looks at methlyamine barrel]

Todd:
Sh*t happens, huh? [Jesse punches him]

Walter White:
Jesse, you asked me if I was in the meth business or the money business. Neither. I'm in the empire business.

Jesse Pinkman:
Look, when you, uh, when you started this thing, did you ever dream of having $5 million? I know for a fact that you didn't. I know for a fact all you needed was 737 000, 'cause you worked it all out, like, mathematically.

Jesse Pinkman, Walter White, Skyler White:
[awkward silence]

Jesse Pinkman:
So hey, how's business? The car wash? Mr. White says it's going really well. He says, like, you're great manager.

Skyler White:
He did, huh?

Jesse Pinkman:
Yeah he says you've got it running like a... Like a machine. Like, well-oiled. Yeah.

Skyler White:
What else did he tell you about me?

Jesse Pinkman:
Oh, you know. Just eh, just good stuff. Just really, you know, really good, good stuff. We don't really talk that much about, you know, personal things.

Skyler White:
Did you also tell him about my affair?

Jesse Pinkman, Walter White, Skyler White:
[awkward silence]

Skyler White:
May I please be excused? [leaves the room]

Walter White:
You know my kids are gone?

Jesse Pinkman:
Thank God.

Skyler White:
We have discussed everything we need to discuss... I thought I made myself very clear.

Walter White:
I got dipping sticks!

Walter White:
I have cancer, lung cancer. It's bad.

Combo:
Hey yo what happened to your hallway man? Did ah like the ceiling fall down or?

Jesse Pinkman:
Oh yeah, ah, naw man I think the house is just settling. Ya know it's been caving in left and right, hit me in the eye. It's bananas.

Skinny Pete:
Yo my pops could fix you up. He's like a contractor or something.

Jesse Pinkman:
Oh yeah? Yeah right on. I should grab that number.

Jesse Pinkman:
Maybe just so happens, that ah, I just recently cooked the best batch ever.

Skinny Pete:
Yeah?

Jesse Pinkman:
Oh yeah. I came up with this whole new recipe. It's more like a formula. It's like way, way more chemically... sh*t you know it's just just the bomb so... but ya I don't know I've been thinking lately I just lay off of it for a while cause lately it's been kinda making me paranoid so... you know for like, like health-wise just lay off.

Combo:
Yo, if you're, if you're not into sharing man, just tell us to piss off it's cool. We don't need no soap opera.

Skinny Pete:
Yeah man whatever.

Jesse Pinkman:
Naw, naw, naw, it's all, it's all good. I'm just saying hay I got, I got plenty of pot.

Combo:
Yeah, I think I'll bounce man.

Skinny Pete:
Yeah, sounds about right.

Jesse Pinkman:
Hey yo, yo, hey homes. I'm joking OK. I'm totally joking... with you. You kidding? Sit down.

Walter White:
You know I, I just think, that ah, things have a way of working themselves out.

Hank Schrader:
Operation Ice-breaker. How you likin' that? We never used that before, did we?

Steven Gomez:
Isn't that the name of a breath mint?

Hank Schrader:
What?

Steven Gomez:
Ice-breakers, right? Breath mint?

Hank Schrader:
Nobody's gonna be thinkin' that. Be thinkin' about some big-ass ship at the North Pole, breakin' ice!

Steven Gomez:
Says you. I'm gonna be thinking "Operation Breath Mint".

Hank Schrader:
I'm thinking "Operation Breath Mint" every time you and me are on a stakeout together, all right? Breath could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon. All right! Operation... TBD. Thanks for nothing, Gom.

Jesse Pinkman:
A wire? You want a wire? I got a wire, speak into the mic b*tch!

Walter White:
Hank? Need another beer?

Hank Schrader:
Does the Pope sh*t in his hat?

Marie Schrader:
You know, I don't think that he does, Hank. And I think everybody would like it if you'd stop saying that.

Walter White:
I'm sorry, what were you asking me? Oh, yes, that stupid plastic container I asked you to buy. You see, hydrofluoric acid won't eat through plastic; it will however dissolve metal, rock, glass, ceramic. So there's that.

Walter White:
After we finish cleaning up this mess... we will go our separate ways. Our paths will never cross and we will tell this to no one. Understood?

Jesse Pinkman:
Oh, what I can talk now?

Walter White:
I guess the only other fair way to go about this would be that one of us deals with the body situation while the other one of us deal with the Krazy-8 situation. In a scenario like this I don't suppose it is bad form to just... flip a coin. Heads or tails?

Jesse Pinkman:
No, I'll do the body in the acid OK?

Walter White:
Heads or tails?

Jesse Pinkman:
Heads... heads.

Walter White:
[flips coin, shows heads] Best two out of three?

Jesse Pinkman:
Mr. White? Are you smoking weed? Oh my god... wait a minute, is that, is that my weed? What the hell man, make yourself at home why don't you.

Jesse Pinkman:
All right, All tight, look, not touching,okay? Not touching here. Look, lady, whatever you're selling, I ain't buying, Yo...

Skyler White:
Well, my name is Skyler White, Yo! My husband is Walter White, Yo! Uh-Huh... He told me everything.

Walter White:
[Walt and Jesse are talking about what to do with Krazy-8. Walt thinks that he could reason with Krazy-8, so he asks Jesse] Do you think that he is capable of listening to reason?

Jesse Pinkman:
What kind of reason? You mean like: "Hey, dear Krazy-8, hey, if I let you go, will you promise not to come back and waste my entire family? No Colombian neckties? You mean that kind of reason? Nah, man, I can't say as I have high f***ing hopes where that's concerned.

Walter White:
Right now, what I need, is for you to climb down out of my ass. Can you do that? Will you do that for me honey? Will you please, just once, get off my ass? you know I'dd appreciate it. I really would.

Walter White:
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico. 87104. This is my confession.

Saul Goodman:
Some people are immune to good advice.

Skyler White:
Walt, please, let's both of us stop trying to justify this whole thing and admit you're in danger!

Walter White:
Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much I make a year? I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going into work? A business big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly up. Disappears! It ceases to exist without me. No, you clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!

[last lines]

Skyler White:
You know what, Walt? Someone has to protect this family from the man who protects this family.

Tucker:
What are you doing?

Jesse Pinkman:
Digging.

Tucker:
Why?

Jesse Pinkman:
You know why.

Tucker:
How deep are you going?

Jesse Pinkman:
I don't know. How deep do you think it is?

Tucker:
Pretty deep.

Jesse Pinkman:
Hey, you mind taking over for a minute?

Tucker:
Yeah, sure.

Walter White:
I am the one who knocks!

Skyler White:
Walt, I've said it before, if you are in danger we go to the police...

Walter White:
Oh, no. I don't want to hear about the police! I do not say that lightly!

Jesse Pinkman:
Why me?

Gustavo 'Gus' Fring:
I like to think I see things in people.

Walter White:
I don't want to talk to you or anyone else about it. I'm done explaining myself.

Jesse Pinkman:
Let Mr. White go. Pay him off or fire him. Don't kill him.

Gustavo 'Gus' Fring:
You know that won't work.

Jesse Pinkman:
Then you've got a problem.

Skyler White:
Well, Ted, the whole reason we're in this mess is that you had me cooking your books, so when did 'wrong' suddenly become a problem for you?"

Gustavo 'Gus' Fring:
I will kill your wife, I will kill your son, I will kill your infant daughter.

Walter White:
Look, I didn't do it.

Gustavo 'Gus' Fring:
Yes, I know. DO it.

Walt:
Last time I checked, there was 16 ounces to a pound. What'd you do with the rest, smoke it?

Jesse Pinkman:
Yo I been out there all night slangin' crystal. You think it's cake movin' a pound of meth, one teenth at a time?

Walt:
So why you selling it in such small quantities? Why don't you just sell the whole pound at once?

Jesse Pinkman:
To who? What do I look like? Scarface?

Walt:
This is unacceptable. I am breaking the law here. This return is too little for the risk. I thought you'd be ready for another pound today.

Jesse Pinkman:
You may know a lot about chemistry, man. But you don't know jack about slangin' dope.

Walter H. White:
We have to move our production bulk wholesale now. How do we do that?

Jesse Pinkman:
What do you mean? To, like, a distributor?

Walter H. White:
Yes. Yes, that's what we need. We need a distributor now. Do you know anyone like that?

Jesse Pinkman:
Yeah. I mean, I used to until you killed him.

Jesse Pinkman:
[Walter comes out of the RV, hardly able to breathe and disoriented] Sit down get some air.

[He sits down, Jesse notices the mark on his chest]

Jesse Pinkman:
When were you gonna tell me?

Walter H. White:
Tell you what?

Jesse Pinkman:
Cancer! You got it, right?

Walter H. White:
[surprised] How did you know?

Jesse Pinkman:
My aunt, had one those dots on her, to target the radiation. What is it, in your lung? I'm your partner man, you should have told me. That's not cool man, not at all. What stage are you?

Walter H. White:
[feeling nauseated, clutching his stomach as he catches his breath] 3A.

Jesse Pinkman:
[looking away] It's in your lymph nodes.

Walter H. White:
[puts his glasses on and looks at Jesse] Your aunt... How bad was she when they caught it?

Jesse Pinkman:
Bad enough, she didn't last long.

Walter H. White:
How long?

Jesse Pinkman:
Seven months.

[looks at Walt with sudden realization]

Jesse Pinkman:
I get it now, that's why you're doing all this, you want to make some cash for your people before you check out.

Walter H. White:
You got a problem with that?

Tuco Salamanca:
What's your name?

Walt:
Heisenberg.

Tuco Salamanca:
Have a seat, Heisenberg.

Walt:
I don't imagine I'll be here very long.

Tuco Salamanca:
No, al'ght. It's your meeting. Why don't you start talking and tell me what you want.

Walt:
$50,000.

Tuco Salamanca:
[laughs] 50 G's! How do you figure that?

Walt:
35 for the pound of meth you stole and 15 for my partner's pain and suffering.

Tuco Salamanca:
Oh yeah. I remember that little b*tch. So you must be daddy. Let me get this straight. I steal your dope, I beat the piss out of your mule boy, and you bring me more meth? That's brilliant.

Walt:
You got one part of that wrong. This is not meth.

[Throws a piece to the opposite side of the room. An explosion blows out the windows on the second floor, glass shattering down to the street]

Walt:
.

Tuco Salamanca:
[after surviving the crystal blow-up at his headquarters] ARE YOU F***ING NUTS?

Walter White:
Wanna find out?

[last lines]

Jesse Pinkman:
No! No!

Mike Ehrmantraut:
The woman put a hit out on me.

Walter White:
Seriously?

Jesse Pinkman:
Wait. A hit? What? Like the mafia?

Mike Ehrmantraut:
Yeah, like the mafia.

Lydia Rodarte-Quayle:
[to Mike] A**hole.

Mike Ehrmantraut:
[threatening Lydia] Here are the rules: if you yell for help, try to give the man some kind of coded message, or otherwise tip him off, I am going to pull out my pistol and shoot you in the head. Same goes for panicking, breaking down into tears. Remember how you like to do that? If it happens this time, I am going to pull my pistol out, and I am going to shoot you in the head.

Mike Ehrmantraut:
Look at me, not at them. Lydia, look at me. If you make Schrader suspicious in any way, any way at all, tell me what's gonna happen next.

Lydia Rodarte-Quayle:
You'll pull out your gun and shoot me.

Mike Ehrmantraut:
And where will I shoot you?

Lydia Rodarte-Quayle:
In the head.

Mike Ehrmantraut:
The head. That's right. And it's a pistol, not a gun. I'm expecting precision here.

Jesse Pinkman:
Boosting methylamine from a train is, like, a major rap. The point is nobody, other than us, can ever know that this robbery went down.

Walter White, Jr.:
You can keep talking about me now.

Jesse Pinkman:
What if we can rip off that train, and no one ever knows it got robbed?

Jesse Pinkman:
[measuring the train track for the heist] It's perfect! Yeah, we do it here. We do it right here!

Skyler White:
Out burying bodies?

Walter White:
Robbing a train.

Jesse Pinkman:
Yo, I get I shouldn't call, but I'm in a situation over here, and I need my money.

Walter H. White:
I just gave you $600.

Jesse Pinkman:
Yeah, and thanks, Daddy Warbucks, but that was before my housing situation went completely testicular on me, okay?

Skyler White:
There's got to be another way.

Walter White:
There isn't. There was. But now there isn't.

Walter White:
I have lived under the threat of death for a year now. And because of that, I have made choices. Listen to me. I alone should suffer the consequences of those choices, no one else. And those consequences, they're coming. No more prolonging the inevitable.

Hank Schrader:
Well, at least this time he didn't sh*t himself... guess that's progress.

Skyler White:
What happened?

Walter White:
I won.

ASAC George Merkert:
So Mr. Salamanca, do you have anything to say on your behalf? [rings bell]

Caregiver:
A... E... I... O... [rings bell] P... Q... R... S... [rings bell] A... E... I... O... U... [rings bell] Next letter: A... [rings bell] B... C... [rings bell] A... E... I... [rings bell] J... K... [rings bell] . New word: A... E... I... [rings bell] J... K... M... [rings bell] A... E... I... O... U... [rings bell] V... W... X... Y... [rings bell several times]

ASAC George Merkert:
All right I think we've had enough.

Hank Schrader:
[Merket shows Hank the paper which reads "Suck My..."] Yeah I get it, I can spell.

ASAC George Merkert:
Well you got that out of your system now? You have something else to say? [rings bell]

Caregiver:
A... E... [rings bell] F... [rings bell] A... E... I... O... U... [rings bell several times] A... [rings bell] B... C... [rings bell]

ASAC George Merkert:
OK I think we've had enough.

Hank Schrader:
I got it.

Saul Goodman:
You two wanna go stick your wangs in a hornets' nest, it's a free country. But how come I always gotta get sloppy seconds, huh?

Skyler White:
You look terrible.

Walter White:
Yeah. But I feel good.

Lydia Rodarte-Quayle:
Is it done? Is he gone?

Walter White:
Yeah, It's done. He's gone. They're all gone.

Lydia Rodarte-Quayle:
Todd? Who is this?

Walter White:
It's Walt. How are you feeling? Kind of under the weather, like you've got the flu? That would be the ricin I gave you, I slipped it into that Stevia crap you're always putting in your tea.

Lydia Rodarte-Quayle:
Oh my God!

Walter White:
Well, Goodbye Lydia.

Walter White:
[Walt is in Elliot's house, Elliot has just pulled a knife on Walt, Walt is visibly unamused] Elliot, if we're going to go that way, you're going to need a bigger knife.

Walter White:
[while Jesse has a gun pointed at him] Do it. You want this.

Jesse Pinkman:
Say the words! Say YOU want this! Nothing happens until I hear you say it.

Walter White:
I want this.

Jesse Pinkman:
[notices blood visible from Walt's chest, drops the gun] Then do it yourself.

Walter White:
[Walt has told Gretchen and Elliot that he has hired two hit men who will track them if his children don't get his money, inside the car, Badger and Skinny Pete are having a discussion about whether or not what they just did is moral, Walt hands them each a pile of wadded up $100 bills] How about now?

Skinny Pete:
Sounds moral to me.

Badger:
Yeah. I would say that's moral.

Walter White:
Cheer up beautiful people... this is where you get to make it right.

Uncle Jack:
You want your money, right? You pull that rigger and you'll never - [Walt shoots him]

Walter White:
Just get me home.

Walter White:
Just get me home... I'll do the rest.

Skyler White:
If I have to hear one more time that you did this for the family...

Walter White:
I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And... I was really... I was alive.

Hank Schrader:
Slow down.

Walter White, Jr.:
Never.

Hank Schrader:
[all of sudden Skyler goes to the pool] Hey, pool party.

Walter White, Jr.:
You're crazy! My car almost has 500 horsepower. It would totally smoke...

Walter White:
Horsepower isn't everything. Don't you know that? You have to factor in drag and torque and suspension and weight of the car. And listen, one more factor that you're not thinking about... The experience of the driver. And I totally got you there. I got you there.

Walter White, Jr.:
Please. Please. You drive... You drive like a geezer.

Walter White:
Oh, I... Really? I drive like a gee... Tell me, can a geezer do donuts? I don't think so.

Walter White, Jr.:
Bullshit you ever did donuts.

Walter White, Jr.:
I'm in the center lane going about 60, and I had no choice but to just tear butt out there. Just bwaaa! So sweet.

Hank Schrader:
[responding to the offer of becoming ASAC] Well, considering my wife would murder me if I said "no"... [chuckles] Yeah. I want it.

Mike Ehrmantraut:
[suspecting Lydia performed a set-up] She's dead.

Jesse Pinkman:
Gatorade me b*tch!

Jesse Pinkman:
Look, I like making cherry product, but let's keep it real, alright? We make poison for people who don't care. We probably have the most unpicky customers in the world.

Walter White:
Look, I feel like I'm running out of ways to explain this to you, but once more I shall try. This fly is a major problem for us: It will ruin our batch, and we need to destroy it and every trace of it so we can cook. Failing that, we're dead. There's no more room for error, not with these people.

Jesse Pinkman:
Possum. Big, freaky, lookin' b*tch. Since when did they change it to opossum? When I was comin' up it was just possum. Opossum makes it sound like he's irish or something. Why do they gotta go changing everything?

Jesse Pinkman:
Dude, you scared the sh*t out of me. When you say it's contamination. I mean, I'm thinking like... an ebola leak or something.

Walter White:
Ebola.

Jesse Pinkman:
Yeah, it's a disease on the Discovery Channel where all your intestines sort of just slip right out of your butt.

Walter White:
Thank you, I know what ebola is.

Walter White:
I've been to my oncologist, Jesse. Just last week. I'm still in remission. I'm healthy.

Jesse Pinkman:
That's good. Great.

Walter White:
No end in sight.

Jesse Pinkman:
That's great.

Walter White:
No. I missed it. There was some perfect moment that passed me right by, but I had to have enough to leave them. That was the whole point. None of this makes any sense if I didn't have enough. And it had to be before she found out. Skyler. It had to be before that.

Jesse Pinkman:
Perfect moment? For what? To drop dead? Are you saying you want to die?

Walter White:
I'm saying that I lived too long. You want them to actually miss you. You want their memories of you to be... but she just won't... she just won't understand. I mean, no matter how well I explain it, these days she just has this... this... I mean, I truly believe there exists some combination of words. There must exist certain words in a certain specific order that can explain all of this, but with her I just can't ever seem to find them.

Jesse Pinkman:
Mr. White, why don't you just sit down?

Walter White:
You know, I was thinking before the fugue state, but during the fugue state I didn't have enough money, so no, not then. And plus my daughter wasn't born yet. It had to be after Holly was born.

Jesse Pinkman:
Mr. White...

Walter White:
Definitely before the surgery. Ah Christ, that damn second cell phone. I mean, how could I possibly?... Oh, I know the moment. It was the night Jane died. I was at home and we needed diapers and so I said I'd go, but it was just an excuse. Actually that was the night I brought you your money, remember?

Jesse Pinkman:
Yeah. I remember.

Walter White:
And afterward I stopped at a bar. It was odd, I never do that - go to a bar alone. I just walked in, sat down. I never told you.

Jesse Pinkman:
You went to a bar?

Walter White:
I sit down and this man, this stranger, he engages me in conversation. He's a complete stranger. But he turns out to be Jane's father, Donald Margolis.

Jesse Pinkman:
What are you talking about?

Walter White:
Of course I didn't know it at the time. I mean, he's just some guy in a bar. I just didn't put it together until after the crash when he was all over the news.

Jesse Pinkman:
Jane's dad?

Walter White:
Think of the odds. Once I tried to calculate them, but they're astronomical. I mean, think of the odds of me going in and sitting down that night, in that bar, next to that man.

Jesse Pinkman:
What'd you talk about?

Walter White:
Water on mars. Family.

Jesse Pinkman:
What about family?

Walter White:
I told him that I had a daughter and he told me he had one, too. And he said, "Never give up on family." And I didn't. I took his advice. My God, the universe is random, it's not inevitable, it's simple chaos. It's subatomic particles in endless, aimless collision. That's what science teaches us, but what does this say? What is it telling us that the very night that this man's daughter dies, it's me who is having a drink with him? I mean, how could that be random?

Jesse Pinkman:
Hey, sit down.

Walter White:
No, no, it's, uh... Oh, that was the moment. That night. I should never have left home. Never gone to your house. Maybe things would have... Oh, I was... I was at home watching TV. Some nature program about elephants... and Skyler and Holly were in another room. I can hear them on the baby monitor. She was singing a lullaby. Oh, if I had just lived right up to that moment... and not one second more. That would have been perfect.

Jesse Pinkman:
So you're chasing around a fly and in your world, I'm the idiot?

Jesse Pinkman:
So that's your... flysaber?

Jesse Pinkman:
A possum. Big, freaky looking b*tch. Ey, since when did they change it to 'o-possum'? What's up with that? I mean, when I was coming up it was just - 'possum'. Y'know, 'o-possum' makes it sound like he was Irish. I mean, why they gotta go changing everything?

Walter White:
You said no half-measures.

Mike Ehrmantraut:
Mmmmm yeah - Funny how words can be so open to interpretation.

Walter White:
I'm gonna need some... some kind of assurance.

Mike Ehrmantraut:
I assure you I can kill you from way over here, if it make you feel any better.

Gang Guy:
It can be done. But not the way you want it.

Walter White:
It can be done exactly how I want it. The only question is: Are you the man to do it? Figure it out. That's what I'm paying you for.

Jesse Pinkman:
[after getting caught] Just kill me now and get it over with, because there's no way I'm doing one more cook for you psycho f***s!

Todd:
[Before shooting Andrea] Just so you know, this isn't personal.

Walter White:
[to Ed] One of these days when you come up here, I'll be dead.

Ed:
I will see you on, Let's see. Afternoon of the 15th.

Walter White:
Stay a little longer?

Ed:
Yeah, I got a long trip ahead of me.

Walter White:
Two hours? I'll give you another $10,000. Please.

DEA Agent:
DEA. Albuquerque District Office. How may I direct your call?

Walter White:
I'd like to speak to the agent in charge of the Walter White investigation.

DEA Agent:
Who may I say is calling?

Walter White:
Walter White.

Walter White:
Can you hear me? Do you understand?

Walter White, Jr.:
You want to send me money?

Walter White:
Yes.

Walter White, Jr.:
You killed Uncle Hank! You killed him! No what you did to mom, you a**hole! You killed Uncle Hank! Just shut up! Just stop it! I don't want anything from you! I don't give a sh*t! Just leave us alone, you a**hole! Why are you still alive? Just die already, just die! [hangs up]

Walter White:
Yeah. Look, I have business to conduct.

Ed:
Your business is your business. My business is keeping you out of custody. You are the target of a nationwide manhunt. Your face is all over TV. You are the hottest client I've ever had by far. That stands to reason you've gotta keep out of sight.

Walter White:
And what's keeping me from walking out that gate?

Ed:
Nothing. There's a little one horse town 8 miles down the hill. There's not a thing on God's green earth that I could do to stop you from going down there. All I'm saying is, if you leave this place, you will get caught. And I gotta tell you. If I found out you've left the reservation, I won't be coming back. That is for my own safety, you understand?

Walter White:
Sure.

Walter White:
You remember what I told you? It's not over until - [succumbs to a paroxysm of coughing]

Saul Goodman:
It's over.

Skyler White:
[During a family meeting, discussing Walt's treatment for cancer] I don't want him to die at all! Thats the whole point of this! So either help or leave!

Walter H. White:
[during a family meeting about Walt's cancer treatment, during a tense fight amongst the family] Alright, I've got the talking pillow now... Okay?

[sits down with tears in his eyes]

Walter H. White:
Look, we all in this room, we love each other. We want what's best for each other and I know that, I am very thankful for that. What I want... what I want, what I need... is a choice

Skyler White:
What does that mean?

Walter H. White:
[with tears in his eyes, very emotional]... sometimes I feel like I never actually make, any of my own... choices. I mean, my entire life it just seems I never... had a real say about any of it. This last one, cancer, all I have left is how I choose to approach this.

Skyler White:
[calmly] Well make the right choice, you are not the only one it affects. What about your son? Don't you want to see your daughter grow up? I just...

Walter H. White:
[with tears in his eyes, very emotional] Of course I do, Skyler. You've read the statistics sheet, these doctors talking about surviving, one year, two years, like it's the only thing that matters. But what good is it to survive if I'm too sick to work, to enjoy a meal, to make love. For what time I have left, I want to live in my own house, I want to sleep in my own bed. I don't want to choke down 40 or 50 pills every single day, and lose my hair, lie around, too tired to get up, and so nauseated that I can't even move my head. You cleaning up after me. Me... me some um... some dead man, some artifically alive, just marking time... No. And that's how you would remember me. That's the worst part. So... that is my thought process, Skyler... I'm sorry, it's just I choose not to do it.

Walter H. White:
What the hell did you say to Elliot?

Skyler White:
What?

Walter H. White:
You told him about the cancer didn't you? Didn't you? I can't believe it.

Skyler White:
OK, we we're talking. He asked how you were doing and I am sorry but I don't have the best poker face these days where that's concerned. He knew something was wrong with you and he pressed me.

Walter H. White:
He pressed you, come on.

Skyler White:
Walt, when it came right down to it, I didn't know what else to do but tell him the truth.

Walter H. White:
The truth? Well how about you just said 'He's fine' huh? You think maybe you could have just have said that? 'He's fine' and then it would have been done.

Skyler White:
I don't like the way you're talking to me.

Walter H. White:
I don't like the way you talk about my private affairs.

Skyler White:
Oh.

Walter H. White:
To people who are not even in our lives anymore.

Skyler White:
What exactly did he say to you?

Walter H. White:
He offered me a job.

Skyler White:
What?

Walter H. White:
Yes. Kinda like some fig leaf, ya know. Some face-saving bullshit that allowed me to generously accept his charity and then when I turned that down he flat out offered to pay for my treatment, which is exactly what you expected him to do didn't you?

Skyler White:
Walt.

Walter H. White:
Didn't you?

Skyler White:
No.

Walter H. White:
Come on.

Skyler White:
I did not put him up. OK, what did you say? Walt?

Walter H. White:
What do you think I said?

Skyler White:
Why? Walt?

Badger:
Hey dude, are these bullet holes?

Jesse Pinkman:
Ah, no man, those are for like um, ya know, ah ventilation.

Badger:
Whoo. Nice setup huh? Man.

Jesse Pinkman:
This is nothing man, I used to have like twice as much glassware, till my um dumb-ass ex-partner drove us into a ditch and wrecked most of it.

Badger:
Big-ass beaker huh?

Jesse Pinkman:
Ah, wait, wait, wait no that's yeah that's a, a boiling flask. This is a beaker. Here's a Griffin beaker, here's a ah volumetric beaker. Here's ah, an Erlenmeyer flask. Um, ya got...

Badger:
Wow, you really know your sh*t.

Jesse Pinkman:
It's just basic chemistry, yo.

Badger:
You are a genius, bro. This kankenstein is unreal. When we get back I'm gonna burn that dollar bill 'case we are gonna make some mad dough.

Jesse Pinkman:
It's not right.

Badger:
What do you mean, it's not right?

Jesse Pinkman:
It's... cloudy, it's not supposed to be cloudy OK. That last time it was glass.

Badger:
So what? Cloudy, not cloudy, it looks good enough to me.

Jesse Pinkman:
Good enough... [tosses batch into the desert]

Badger:
Wait, wait. Yo, what are you doing? Ahhh. What are you out of your mind? I totally would have smoked that.

Jesse Pinkman:
Look, it's not for you it's for our customers. They're going to demand a certain standard.

Badger:
What? What... what are you? What?

Jesse Pinkman:
We'll just do it again... until we get it right.

Walter H. White:
These doctors, talking about "surviving". One year, two years, like it's the only thing that matters. But what good is to just survive when I'm too sick to work? To enjoy a meal? To make love? [long pause] For what time I have left, I wanna live in my own house. I wanna sleep in my own bed. I don't wanna choke down thirty or forty pills and lose my hair, an lie around, too tired to get up, and so nauseated that I can't even move my head. [looks at skyler] You cleaning up after me. [starting to cry] Me, a... some dead man, some artificially alive... just marking time. [to everyone] That's how you'd remember me, that's the worst part. So that, is my thought process Skyler. I'm sorry. It's just... I choose not to do it.

Mike:
You know Walter, sometimes it doesn't hurt to have someone watching your back.

Walter White:
Walter: [sarcastically] Great line of work, by the way. Real upstanding field.

Mike:
Mike: Yeah, well, I enjoy it.

Tuco Salamanca:
Tell me what you did, Walter!

Jesse Pinkman:
Jesus, I don't wanna die! NO!

Tuco Salamanca:
TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!

Walter White:
We tried to poison you. We tried to poison you because you are an insane, degenerate piece of filth and you deserve to die.

Jesse Pinkman:
[about drug dealers using kids to sell methamphetamine] Hearts and minds, right? Get them young and they'll be yours forever.

Walter H. White:
[to Jesse] Run!

Mike Ehrmantraut:
I used to be a beat cop, a long time ago. I'd get called on domestic disputes all the time. Hundreds, probably, over the years. But there was this one guy, this one piece of sh*t that I will never forget. Gordie. He looked like Bo Svenson. You remember him? Walking Tall? You don't remember?

Walter H. White:
No.

Mike Ehrmantraut:
Anyway, big boy, 270, 280 but his wife or whatever she was, his lady was real small, like a bird. Wrists like little branches. Anyway, my partner and I'd get called out there every weekend and one of us would pull her aside and say: "Come on, tonight's the night we press charges." This wasn't one of those "deep down, he loves me" setups. We got a lot of those, but not this. This girl was scared. She wasn't gonna cross him, no way, no how. Nothing we could do but pass her to the EMT's, put him a car, drive him downtown, throw him in a drunk tank. He sleeps it off, next morning, out he goes. Back home. But one night my partner's out sick, and it's just me. The call comes in and it's the usual crap. Broke her nose in the shower kind of thing. So I cuff him, put him in the car and away we go. Only that night we're driving into town and this sideways a**hole is in my back seat humming "Danny Boy." And it just rubbed me wrong. So instead of left, I go right, out into nowhere. And I kneel him down and I put my revolver in his mouth and I told him, "This is it. This is how it ends." And he's crying, going to the bathroom all over himself. Swearing to God he's gonna leave her alone. Screaming, much as you can with a gun in your mouth. And I told him to be quiet. That I needed to think about what I was gonna do here. And, of course, he got quiet goes still and real quiet. Like a dog waiting for dinner scraps. Then we just stood there for a while, me, acting like I'm thinking things over and Prince Charming kneeling in the dirt with sh*t in his pants. And after a few minutes, I took the gun out of his mouth and I say, "So help me, if you ever touch her again I will such and such and such, and blah, blah, blah."

Walter H. White:
It was just a warning?

Mike Ehrmantraut:
Of course. Just trying to do the right thing. But two weeks later he killed her. Of course. Caved her head in with the base of a Waring blender. We got there, there was so much blood you could taste the metal. Moral of the story is I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again. No more half measures, Walter.

Walter White:
[to Jesse] Run.

Saul Goodman:
He's okay? He said he was gonna break my legs. And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay? 'Cause he gave me the dead mackerel eyes. He meant it.

Walter White:
Saul, Mike threatened me. He threatened Jesse. He probably threatened someone before breakfast this morning. It's what he does. Come on. Grow a pair.

Walter White:
[to Jesse] I've got some math for you. Hank catching Gus equals Hank catching us!

Jesse Pinkman:
So what if this is like, math, or algebra? Now you add a plus douchebag to a minus douchebag, you get like, zero douchebags.

Walter H. White:
[On phone at hospital with Skyler looking on] Well yes, I will be sure and pass your best wishes on to everyone. Thank you and goodbye.

Jesse Pinkman:
[On phone back at meth lab] Oh yeah. And tell that douche bag brother-in-law of yours to go towards the light.

Hospital Worker:
[Jesse has been released from the hospital and escorted to the door in a wheelchair, he lights up a cigarette] Sir, if you want to smoke, you need to be 20 feet away from the door.

Jesse Pinkman:
So roll me further b*tch!

Hank Schrader:
What's wrong with spicing things up a little bit, huh?

Steven Gomez:
This spice looks like it's been through a couple of guys already.

Skyler White:
I f***ed Ted.

Jesse Pinkman:
What's the point of being an outlaw when you got responsibilities?

Group Leader:
Jesse, last time, you seemed down about your job at the Laundromat. Let me ask something, if you had the chance to do anything you wanted, what would you do?

Jesse Pinkman:
Make more green, man. A lot more.

Group Leader:
Forget about money. Assume you have all you want.

Jesse Pinkman:
I don't know. I guess I would make something.

Group Leader:
Like what?

Jesse Pinkman:
I don't know if it even matters, but... work with my hands, I guess.

Group Leader:
Building things, like carpentry or bricklaying or something?

Jesse Pinkman:
I took this vo-tech class in high school, woodworking. I took a lot of vo-tech classes, because it was just big jerk-off, but this one time I had this teacher by the name of... Mr... Mr. Pike. I guess he was like a Marine or something before he got old. He was hard hearing. My project for his class was to make this wooden box. You know, like a small, just like a... like a box, you know, to put stuff in. So I wanted to get the thing done as fast as possible. I figured I could cut classes for the rest of the semester and he couldn't flunk me as long as I, you know, made the thing. So I finished it in a couple days. And it looked pretty lame, but it worked. You know, for putting in or whatnot. So when I showed it to Mr. Pike for my grade, he looked at it and said: "Is that the best you can do?" At first I thought to myself "Hell yeah, b*tch. Now give me a D and shut up so I can go blaze one with my boys." I don't know. Maybe it was the way he said it, but... it was like he wasn't exactly saying it sucked. He was just asking me honestly, "Is that all you got?" And for some reason, I thought to myself: "Yeah, man, I can do better." So I started from scratch. I made another, then another. And by the end of the semester, by like box number five, I had built this thing. You should have seen it. It was insane. I mean, I built it out of Peruvian walnut with inlaid zebrawood. It was fitted with pegas, no screws. I sanded it for days, until it was smooth as glass. Then I rubbed all the wood with tung oil so it was rich and dark. It even smelled good. You know, you put nose in it and breathed in, it was... it was perfect.

Group Leader:
What happened to the box?

Jesse Pinkman:
I... I gave it to my mom.

Group Leader:
Nice. You know what I'm gonna say, don't you? It's never too late. They have art co-ops that offer classes, adult extension program at the University.

Jesse Pinkman:
You know, I didn't give the box to my mom. I traded it for an ounce of weed.

Group Leader:
Jesse? Jesse? What about you? Face looks better. How's it all going? Anything you wanna tell us about?

Jesse Pinkman:
What, like my interesting life? Uh, one day pretty much bleeds into the next. Been working a lot. Got a job.

Group Leader:
Job is good.

Jesse Pinkman:
It's... it's in a laundromat. It's totally corporate.

Group Leader:
Corporate laundromat.

Jesse Pinkman:
It's, like, rigid. All kinds of red tape. My boss is a dick. The owner, super dick. I'm not worthy to meet him, but I guess everybody's scared of the dude. The place is full of dead-eyed douche bags, the hours suck and nobody knows what's going on, so...

Group Leader:
Sounds kind of Kafkaesque.

Jesse Pinkman:
Yeah. Totally Kafkaesque.

Badger:
I can't believe you had to crush the RV. Must've been depressing.

Skinny Pete:
For real. That's a stone loss.

Jesse Pinkman:
No one misses it more than me. Free to cook anytime, anywhere. No quotas, no one to answer to. What's the point of being an outlaw when you got responsibilities?

Badger:
Darth Vader had responsibilities. He was responsible for the Death Star.

Skinny Pete:
True that. Two of them b*tches.

Badger:
Just saying. Devil's advocate.

Jesse Pinkman:
I gotta pay taxes? What's up with that? That's messed up. That's Kafkaesque.

Skinny Pete:
Church.

Badger:
Right.

Mike Ehrmantraut:
Keys, scumbag. It's the universal symbol for keys.

Jesse Pinkman:
Yeah, b*tch! Magnets!

Mike Ehrmantraut:
Is that a serious question?

Old Joe:
Why would anyone wanna put a metal ring through the end of their prick?

Jesse Pinkman:
What are you looking at me for?

Mike Ehrmantraut:
Now I don't know what kind of movies you've been watching, but here in the real world, we don't kill eleven people as some kind of prophylactic measure.

[repeated line]

Mike Ehrmantraut:
My guys are solid.

Mike Ehrmantraut:
How 'bout we lose the sunglasses? I feel like I'm talking to Jackie Onassis.

Jesse Pinkman:
I don't know what's wrong with me, Mr. White.

Saul Goodman:
As to your dead guy, occupational hazard. Drug dealer getting shot? I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say it's been known to happen.

Gustavo 'Gus' Fring:
You can never trust a drug addict.

Saul Goodman:
How is your inventory?

Jesse Pinkman:
38 and some...

Saul Goodman:
38 what? Ounces? Grams?

Jesse Pinkman:
Pounds.

Walter White:
You said "make hay while the sun shines".

Saul Goodman:
Guys, why the long faces? You're sitting in a gold mine.

Saul Goodman:
A gold mine we cannot sell.

Gus Fring:
What does a man do Walter? A man provides for his family.

Gus Fring:
And a man, a man provides. And he does it even when he's not appreciated, or respected, or even loved. He simply bears up and he does it. Because he's a man.

Marie Schrader:
Facing death changes a person, it has to, don't you think?

Jesse Pinkman:
Hey, you girls want to meet my fat stack?

Jesse Pinkman:
I'm a blowfish, yeeeah blowfishing this up!

Jesse Pinkman:
We're gonna be kings, understand? Well, I'm gonna be king, you guys'll be princes or dukes or something.

Badger:
I wanna be a knight.

Tortuga:
Hey, white boy. My name's Tortuga. You know what that means?

Walter White:
Can this person identify you? Can she identify you being there?

Jesse Pinkman:
She couldn't identify her left ass cheek.

Tortuga:
Hey, white boy. My name's Tortuga. You know what that means?

Hank Schrader:
Well, if I had to guess, I'd say that's Spanish for "a**hole."

Walter White:
Who messes with the blowfish Jesse?

Jesse Pinkman:
Nobody.

Walter White:
You're damn right.

Jesse Pinkman:
I'm a blowfish.

Walter White:
You are a blowfish. Say it again.

Jesse Pinkman:
I'm a blowfish.

Walter White:
Say it like you mean it.

Jesse Pinkman:
I'm a blowfish!

Walter White:
Yeah you're a blowfish that's right!

Jesse Pinkman:
Yeah! Blowfishin' this up.

Jesse Pinkman:
Blowfish this up

Jesse Pinkman:
You either run from things, or you face them, Mr. White.

Walter White:
And what exactly does that mean?

Jesse Pinkman:
I learned it in rehab. It's all about accepting who you really are. I accept who I am.

Walter White:
And who are you?

Jesse Pinkman:
I'm the bad guy.

Walter White:
Listen, something's come up. I think it's a good opportunity. There's been a job opening. I need a new lab assistant.

Jesse Pinkman:
I already did my time. Why don't you just get yourself a monkey?

Walter White:
I don't want a monkey. I want you.

Jesse Pinkman:
Oh, gee, thanks. Well, not interested. I got my own thing going on. And nice try saving your ass-hat brother-in-law.

Walter White:
That's not why I'm here, Jesse. There's more. It's more than an assistant. Partners. We'd be partners again. Split everything, 50/50, just like before. 1.5 million dollars. Each.

Jesse Pinkman:
No.

Walter White:
I don't think you heard me.

Jesse Pinkman:
I heard you fine. I said no.

Walter White:
You understand this: you are turning down one and a half million dollars...

Jesse Pinkman:
I am not turning down the money! I am turning down you! You get it? I want NOTHING to do with you! Ever since I met you, everything I ever cared about is gone! Ruined, turned to sh*t, dead, ever since I hooked up with the great Heisenberg! I have never been more alone! I HAVE NOTHING! NO ONE! ALRIGHT, IT'S ALL GONE, GET IT? No, no, no, why... why would you get it? What do you even care, as long as you get what you want, right? You don't give a sh*t about me! You said I was no good. I'm nothing! Why would you want me, huh? You said my meth is inferior, right? Right? Hey! You said my cook was GARBAGE! Hey, screw you, man! Screw you!

[long pause]

Walter White:
Your meth is good, Jesse. As good as mine. [Walt leaves]

Tio Salamanca:
La familia es todo.

Saul Goodman:
[to Walt] There's no honor among thieves... except for us of course.

Walter White:
So, what uh, what happens now?

Jesse Pinkman:
What happens now? I'll tell you what happens now. Your scumbag brother-in-law is finished. Done. You understand? I will own him when this is over. Every cent he earns, every cent his wife earns is mine. Any place he goes, anywhere he turns I'm gonna be there, grabbing my share. He'll be scrubbing toilets in Tijuana for pennies, and I'll be standing over him to get my cut. He'll see me when he wakes up in the morning, and when he crawls to sleep in whatever rat hole's left for him after I shred his house down. I will haunt his crusty ass forever until the day he sticks a gun up his mouth and pulls the trigger just to get me out of his head. That's what happens next.

Walter White:
Jesse, move on with your life. Leave it behind, all of it.

Jesse Pinkman:
Nothing changes. Once I walk out of here, I get myself a new RV and go start cooking again.

Walter White:
How, exactly, do you think you're going to get away with that? They will catch you.

Jesse Pinkman:
So what? I've got a get out of jail free card.

Saul Goodman:
Hey, I may have overstated the power of your face...

Jesse Pinkman:
Not this. If the cops catch me, I give them what they want the most.

Jesse Pinkman:
[turns to Walter] You. If they nab me, I make a deal to give up the great Heisenberg and his million dollar drug ring. You're my free pass, b*tch.

Jesse Pinkman:
I'm not turning down the money, I'm turning down you! You get it? I want nothing to do with you! Ever since I met you, everything I've ever cared about is gone. Ruined, turned to sh*t, dead; ever since I hooked up with the great Heisenberg. I have never been more alone, I have nothing! No one! Alright it's all gone! Get it? No, no no, why? Why would you get it? Why do you even care as long as you get what you want. Right? You don't give a sh*t about me.

Saul Goodman:
You were smart to call me. Now you just sit back, relax and let a professional take over.

[his bodyguard knocks on the door]

Saul Goodman:
That's for me. Excuse me.

[Saul opens the door, whispers]

Saul Goodman:
What do you want? I'm in a meeting. Why didn't you think of that before, it's not my prob... I'm in a meeting!

Saul Goodman:
[to the Whites] Can Huell use your bathroom?

Skyler White:
Huell?

Walter White:
Uh... sure, top of the stairs.

Saul Goodman:
He'll be quick. It's a stomach thing. So where were we?

Skyler White:
Professionalism.

Walter White:
What, I am Nixon now?

Skyler White:
What I'm saying is, the devil is in the details.

Walter H. White:
[while shopping at the building supply center, Walt notices a cart full of meth supplies. The Tweeker who belongs to the cart puts boxes of wooden matches in the cart] You're buying the wrong matches. Those matches. They're the wrong kind. Red phosphorous is found in the striker strips, not the matches themselves. You need to get the big 200-count box of individual match books. More striker strips. You understand? Those only have the one. And don't buy everything in one place. Do it piecemeal. Different items, different stores. Attracts less attention. Hmm? You following me here?

[the Tweeker is so spooked that he abandons the cart and runs away]

Walter H. White:
Stay out of my territory.

Walter H. White:
Put... the bottle... down.

Hank Schrader:
[to Walt, as Jack has a gun pointed at him] You're the smartest guy I ever met... but you're too stupid to see... He made up his mind ten minutes ago.

Todd:
Sorry for your loss.

Uncle Jack:
Didn't cross your mind to maybe tell us you had a DEA agent for a brother-in-law?

Hank Schrader:
Do what you're gonna do.

Hank Schrader:
My name is ASAC Schrader and you can go f*** yourself.

Walter White:
Pinkman. You still owe me.

Uncle Jack:
If you can find him, we'll kill him.

Walter White:
Found him.

Walter White:
I watched Jane die. I was there. I watched her overdose and choke to death. I could have saved her. But I didn't.

Walter White:
I told you, Skyler. I warned you for a solid year. You cross me, there will be consequences. What part of that didn't you understand?

Walter White:
I've still got things left to do.

Walter White:
You mark my words, Skyler. Toe the line, or you will wind up just like Hank.

Skyler White:
Walt. Tell me what happened. Where is Hank? Please. We need to know.

Walter White:
You're never gonna see Hank again. He crossed me. You think about that. Family or no. You let that sink in.

Walter White:
And now you tell my son what I do after I've told you and told you to keep your damn mouth shut. You stupid b*tch. How dare you?

Skyler White:
I'm sorry.

Walter White:
You, you have no right to discuss anything about what I do. Oh, what the hell do you know about it anyway? Nothing. I built this. Me. Me alone.Nobody else!

Uncle Jack:
Jesus, what's with all the greed here? It's unattractive.

Walter White:
What the hell is wrong with you? We are a family.

Hank Schrader:
Hank Schrader: [to Walt, while Uncle Jack's pointing a gun at him] You're the smartest guy I ever met... But you're too stupid to see... He made his mind up 10 minutes ago.

Jesse Pinkman:
You got something for me?

Skinny Pete:
Yeah, I found 'em.

Jesse Pinkman:
Is this a five or an S?

Skinny Pete:
Five, yo. No wait... S. No, no... yeah, five.

Jesse Pinkman:
Yeah? Jesus, how the hell do you spell "street" wrong? S-T-R-E-A-T?

Skinny Pete:
Hey, man, I'm slingin' mad volume and fat stackin' benjis, you know what I'm sayin'? I can't be all about, like, spelling and sh*t.

Jesse Pinkman:
Okay. So they got names?

Skinny Pete:
Hers is like, I dunno, she's just this woman is all. Him, they call Spooge.

Jesse Pinkman:
Spooge? Not Mad Dog? Not Diesel? So lemme get this straight, you got jacked by a man named Spooge?

Jesse Pinkman:
Yo, don't you wanna watch something other than this, like I don't know, Mister Rogers?

Spooge:
Skank, skank, skank-ass skank! Skank-ass skank! skank-ass skank! You listening to me, skank? You are a skank-ass skank! Skank, skank, skank, skank, skank, skank!

Spooge's Woman:
I ain't no skank!

[Spooge's woman tips the stolen ATM on Spooge's head, killing him instantly]

Jesse Pinkman:
What the hell kind of mother are you?

Spooge's Woman:
Huh?

Jesse Pinkman:
How 'bout you feed the kid a decent meal every now and then, huh? Give him a bath. Put some baby powder on him. Get him some decent TV to watch; I mean, what is that sh*t? Are you serious?

Spooge's Woman:
You give me one hit, and I'll be any kind of mother that you want.

Gretchen Schwartz:
I don't even know what to say to you. I don't even know where to begin. I feel so sorry for you, Walt.

Walter White:
F*** YOU!

Walter White:
You know who might've done it?

Walter White, Jr.:
I have no idea.

Walter White:
Here's what I think: You ID them, and then together, you and I put a bag over their heads, we tie 'em up, drag them way out into the desert, strip 'em naked, bury them way up into their necks in a huge mound of fire ants. Saw it in an old western.

Jesse Pinkman:
Where's my money, b*tch?

Jane Margolis:
Do you know what this is?

Jesse Pinkman:
It's a whole lot of cheddar.

Jane Margolis:
This is freedom. This is saying, "I can go anywhere I want. I can be anybody." What do you want to be? Where do you want to go? South America? Europe? Australia?

Jesse Pinkman:
Is New Zealand part of Australia?

Jane Margolis:
New Zealand is New Zealand.

Jesse Pinkman:
Right on. New Zealand. That's where they made "Lord of the Rings". I say we just move there, yo. I mean, you can do your art. Right? Like, you can paint the local castles and sh*t. And I can be a bush pilot.

Donald Margolis:
Well played. They found water on Mars.

Walter White:
They have indeed.

Donald Margolis:
Don't exactly know what to with that information, but, hey, God bless them, they found it.

Walter White:
Oh, well, actually, they theoretically can separate the hydrogen from the oxygen and process that into providing fuel for man's space flights. Ostensibly, turning Mars into a giant gas station. So it's a... Yeah. We live in an amazing time.

Donald Margolis:
To water on Mars.

Walter White:
To water on Mars.

Donald Margolis:
So, what did you have? Girl or boy?

Walter White:
Oh. Little girl.

Donald Margolis:
That's nice. Congratulations.

Walter White:
Thank you.

Donald Margolis:
I have a daughter.

Walter White:
Yeah. How old?

Donald Margolis:
Old enough to know better. Twenty-seven next month.

Walter White:
Oh. You have other kids?

Donald Margolis:
Just the one.

Walter White:
I've got a 16 year old boy. Well, he's almost 16. Jeez. There's a spread, huh? But he helps out, though. He's even changing some diapers now, so. It's more than I managed to do when I was his age.

Donald Margolis:
Kids today grow up faster. I think.

Walter White:
Yeah, maybe so. So any advice? Having a daughter. Any advice?

Donald Margolis:
Oh. No, not really. Just love them. Just... I mean, they... they are who they are.

Walter White:
Yeah. I've got this... nephew. This nephew who is, I mean, he's an adult. But you can't infantilize them, you can't live their life for them. But still, I mean, there is that frustration. You know, that... God, that frustration that goes along with, you know: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know what is best for you, so listen." But of course, they don't. I mean, what do you do with someone like that?

Donald Margolis:
Family.

Walter White:
Yeah. Family...

Donald Margolis:
You can't give up on them. Never. I mean, what else is there?

Jesse Pinkman:
[Speaking about Walter White] I mean, like, like, who's he, right? I mean, first off, I taught him. He's always acting like I'm his dentured servant.

Walter H. White:
I am... awake

Walter H. White:
It's me. I'm alone.

Jesse Pinkman:
How'd you find me?

Walter H. White:
You're still in our filing system. So your aunt owns this place right?

Jesse Pinkman:
I own it.

Walter H. White:
No one's looking for you.

Jesse Pinkman:
Why are you here?

Walter H. White:
I was curious. Honestly, I never expected you to amount to much, but methamphetamine? I didn't picture that. There's a lot of money in it, huh?

Jesse Pinkman:
I don't know what you're talking about.

Walter H. White:
No?

Jesse Pinkman:
Not a clue.

Walter H. White:
"Cap'n Cook?" That's not you? Like I said, no one is looking for you.

Jesse Pinkman:
Look, I don't know what you think you're doing here, Mr. White. I mean, if you're planning on giving me some bullshit about getting right with Jesus by turning myself in...

Walter H. White:
Not really.

Jesse Pinkman:
High school was a long time ago. You ain't "Welcome Back Kotter", so step off.

Walter H. White:
No speeches. Short speech. You lost your partner today. What's his name - Emilio? Emilio is going to prison. The DEA took all your money, your lab. You got nothing. Square one. But you know the business and I know the chemistry. I'm thinking... maybe you and I could partner up.

Jesse Pinkman:
You want to cook crystal meth? You and, uh... and me?

Walter H. White:
That's right... or I turn you in.

Jesse Pinkman:
Dude, this isn't even seven grand, all right? My guy wants 85.

Walter H. White:
This is all the money I have in the world. You're a drug dealer. Negotiate.

Jesse Pinkman:
You are not how I remember you from class. I mean, like, not at all.

Walter H. White:
Yeah, well, I gotta go.

Jesse Pinkman:
Wait. Wait. Hold up. Tell me why you're doing this. Seriously.

Walter H. White:
Why do you do it?

Jesse Pinkman:
Money, mainly.

Walter H. White:
There you go.

Jesse Pinkman:
Nah, come on, man. Some straight like you, giant stick up his ass all a sudden at age, what, 60, he's just gonna break bad?

Walter H. White:
I'm 50.

Jesse Pinkman:
It's weird, is all. Okay, it doesn't compute. Listen, if you've gone crazy or something, I mean, if you... If you've gone crazy, or depressed. I'm... I'm just saying. That... That's something I need to know about. Okay, I mean, that affects me.

Walter H. White:
I am awake.

Jesse Pinkman:
What?

Walter H. White:
Buy the RV. We start tomorrow.

Walter H. White:
F*** you! And your eyebrows! [knocks air fresheners off shelf] [grabs crotch] Wipe down this!

[first lines]

Walter H. White:
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico. 87104. To all law enforcement entities, this is not an admission of guilt. I am speaking to my family now. [covers camera momentarily] Skyler, you are the love of my life, I hope you know that. Walter junior, you're my big man. There are... there are going to be some things, things that you'll come to learn about me in the next few days. I just want you to know that, no matter how it may look, I only had you in my heart. Goodbye.

Jesse Pinkman:
Hey, what'd you do to them.

Walter H. White:
Red phosphorus in the presence of moisture and accelerated by heat yields phosphorus hydride. Phosphine gas. One good wiff, and phewf... [pukes]

[last lines]

Skyler White:
[in bed] Whatever it is I'll tell you this, I do not like it when you don't talk to me. The worst thing you can do is shut me out.

Walter H. White:
[jumps all over her]

Skyler White:
Oh Walter, is that you?

Walter H. White:
Chemistry is, well technically, chemistry is the study of matter. But I prefer to see it as the study of change.

Walter H. White:
Here's you receipt and just hand this claiming disk to your car wash professional. Thank you, come again.

Walter H. White:
Hank, How much money is that?

Hank Schrader:
Ah, it's about seven-hundred grand, a pretty good haul.

Walter H. White:
Wow... that's... unusual isn't it, that kind of cash?

Hank Schrader:
Um it's not the most we ever took. It's easy money, till we catch ya.

Skyler White:
Did you use the Mastercard last month... ah... 15.88 at Staples?

Walter H. White:
Um... We needed printer paper.

Skyler White:
Walt, the Matercard's the one we don't use.

Walter H. White:
Volumetric flask is for general mixing and titration. You wouldn't apply heat to a volumetric flask. That's what a boiling flask is for. Did you learn nothing from my chemistry class?

Jesse Pinkman:
No, you flunked me. Remember?

Dr. Belknap:
You understood what I just said to you?

Walter H. White:
Yes. Lung Cancer. Inoperable.

Dr. Belknap:
I just need to make sure you fully understand.

Walter H. White:
Best case scenario, with chemo, I'll live maybe another couple years...

Walter H. White:
[Jesse falls from a window] Oh my God! Pinkman?

Walter White:
F*** you and your eyebrows!

Group Leader:
We're not here to sit in judgement.

Jesse Pinkman:
Why not? Why not, maybe she's right. You know maybe I should have put it in the paper. I should've done something different. The thing is; if you just do stuff and nothing happens... what's it all mean? What's the point? Oh right, this whole thing is about self-acceptence.

Group Leader:
Kicking the hell out of yourself doesn't give meaning to anything.

Jesse Pinkman:
So I should stop "judging" and accept? So no matter what I do... hooray for me because I'm a great guy? It's all good? No matter how many dogs I kill, I just, what, do an inventory and accept? I mean you back your truck over your own kid and you like accept? What a load of crap.

Group Leader:
Hey Jesse, I know your in pain...

Jesse Pinkman:
No you know what? Why I'm here in the first place... is to sell you meth. You're nothing to me but customers! I made you my b*tch. You okay with that? huh? You accept?

Group Leader:
No.

Jesse Pinkman:
About time.

Walter White:
Are you spying on me?

Skyler White:
Yes, and I feel just awful about it.

Jesse Pinkman:
Look... look, you two guys are just... guys, okay? Mr. White... he's the devil. You know, he is... he is smarter than you, he is luckier than you. Whatever... whatever you think is supposed to happen... I'm telling you, the exact reverse opposite of that is gonna happen, okay?

Walter White:
His buddies, Beaver and what's-his-name?

Kuby:
Uh, Badger and Skinny Pete. Yeah, no, he's not with them.

Walter White:
They could be covering for him.

Kuby:
I posed as a meter reader. I put a bug in the tall kid's mom's place. For three hours straight, all he talked about was something called Babylon 5.

Skyler White:
[on the possibility of Walter killing Jesse] We've come this far for us. What's one more?

Jesse Pinkman:
Yeah, Mr. White is gay for me.

[last lines]

Walter White:
Todd, I think I might have another job for your uncle.

Jesse Pinkman:
If I go to that Plaza I'm a dead man!

Walter White:
You're full of colorful metaphors, aren't you, Sal? Belize, Old Yeller. Just brimming with advice. Do not float that idea again.

Saul Goodman:
I never should've left my dojo membership run out.

Saul Goodman:
[to Skyler, about Ted] You and I don't wear the same rose-coloured glasses where Johnny Fabulous is concerned.

Jesse Pinkman:
So I don't get to vote in this matter?

Mike Ehrmantraut:
I'll give you this: either all of us or none of us are going home.

Walter White:
Now... Say my name.

Declan:
[quietly] You're Heisenberg.

Walter White:
You're goddamn right!

Declan:
Who the hell are you?

Walter White:
You know. You all know exactly who I am. Say my name.

Declan:
Do what? I don't... I don't have a damn clue who the hell you are.

Walter White:
Yeah, you do. I'm the cook. I'm the man who killed Gus Fring.

Declan:
Bullshit. Cartel got Fring.

Walter White:
Are you sure? [Declan looks at Mike and Mike shakes his head] That's right. Now, say my name.

Declan:
[quietly] Heisenberg.

Walter White:
You're goddamn right.

[last lines]

Mike Ehrmantraut:
Shut the f*** up. Let me die in peace.

Declan:
Looks like you're about 1000 gallons light here, Mike. Where's the juice?

Walter White:
The methylamine isn't coming.

Declan:
Why is that? And who the hell are you?

Walter White:
I'm the man who's keeping it.

Declan:
[points at Walt and asks Mike] What the hell is this? We had an agreement, right? We got our deal. So, where's the tank, Mike?

Walter White:
Mike doesn't know where it is. Only I do. And you're dealing with me now, not him.

Declan:
Why don't you just cut to what it is you want, or what you think is gonna happen. 'Cause were gonna get what we came for.

Walter White:
That 1000 gallons of methylamine is worth more in my hands than it is in yours or anyone else's for that matter. But I need distribution.

Declan:
[chuckles] Distribution.

Walter White:
That's right. So if you agree to give up your cook and sell my product instead, I'll give you 35% of the take.

Declan:
35%? Are you kidding me? 35... Mike, please tell me this is a joke. Do you know how far we had to stick our necks out to get our hands on this cash? And why the hell would we want you? You realize we have our own operation, right?

Walter White:
I know all about your operation. My partners here tell me that you produce a meth that's 70% pure, if you're lucky. What I produce is 99.1% pure.

Declan:
So?

Walter White:
So... it's grade school tee-ball vs. The New York Yankees. Yours is just some tepid... off-brand, generic cola. What I'm making is classic Coke.

Declan:
All right. Okay. So, um... [clears throat] If we just waste you right here, right now, and leave you in the desert then there is no more coke on the market, right? See how that works? There's only us.

Walter White:
Do you really wanna live in a world without Coca-Cola?

Mike Ehrmantraut:
[after the deal with Declan] I gotta hand it to you, Walter.

Mike Ehrmantraut:
All of this, falling apart like this, is on you.

Walter White:
Wow. [laughs] Wow! Oh, that's some kind of logic right there, Mike. You screw up, get yourself followed by the DEA, and now, suddenly, this is all my fault. Why don't you walk me through this, Mike?

Mike Ehrmantraut:
We had a good thing, you stupid son of a b*tch! We had Fring. We had a lab. We had everything we needed, and it all ran like clockwork. You could've shut your mouth, cooked and made as much money as you ever needed. It was perfect. But, no, you just had to blow it up. You and your pride and your ego! You just had to be the man. If you'd done your job, known your place, we'd all be fine right now.

Jesse Pinkman:
[Looking at the truck] Vamanos.

Skyler White:
I wish.

Walter White:
What have you got in your life? Nothing. Nobody. Oh, wait. Yes. Video games and go-carts.

Walter White:
If you believe that there's a hell... I don't know if you're into that. But we're... we're already pretty much going there, right? But I'm not gonna lie down until I get there.

Walter White:
Now that we're in control, no one else gets hurt.

Jesse Pinkman:
You keep saying that, and it's bullshit every time!

Jesse Pinkman:
I'm done, okay? You just give me my money, and you and I, we're done.

Walter White:
Look, Todd, I don't need you to be Antoine Lavoisier. Uh, what I do need is your full effort and attention. Listen and apply yourself. If you do that, we just might have a fighting chance here, okay?

Walter White:
Now. say my name.

Declan:
You're Heisenberg.

Walter White:
You're God damn right.

Jesse Pinkman:
Are we just gonna grow a magic beanstalk?

Skyler White:
I need support. Me! The almost 40-year old pregnant woman with the surprise baby on the way and the husband with lung cancer who disappears for hours on end and I don't know where he goes and he barely even speaks to me anymore with the moody son who does the same thing and the overdrawn checking account and the lukewarm water heater that leaks rusty looking crap and, and is rotting out the floor of the utility closet and we can't even afford to fix it but OHH, I see, now I am supposed to go 'Hank, please what can I possibly do to further benefit my spoiled, kleptomaniac, b*tch sister who somehow always manages to be the center of attention, cuz God knows, she is the one with the really important problems.

Hank Schrader:
Want me to take a look at that utility closet?

Walter White:
[Walt tries to figure how much they need to make for his family to be financially secure] Adjusting for inflation-a good state college-adjusting for inflation, say $45,000 dollars a year. Two kids, 4 years of college: $360,000 dollars; remaining mortgage on the home: $107,000; Home equity line: $30,000; That's $137,000. Costs of living: food, clothing, utilities: say, two-grand a month. That should put a dent in it anyway. 24K a year provide, for say, 10 years, that's $240,000 dollars, plus 360 plus 137: Seven-thirty-seven. $737,000 dollars, that's what I need. You and I both clear about 70 grand a week, that's only 10 1/2 more weeks call it, or eleven. Eleven, call it eleven more drug deals and always in a public place from now on. It's doable. Definitely doable.

Mike Ehrmantraut:
You - are not the guy. You're not capable of being the guy. I had a guy, but now I don't. You - are not the guy.

Jesse Pinkman:
This my own private domicile, and I will not be harassed... b*tch!

Saul Goodman:
Did you not plan for this contingency? I mean the Starship Enterprise had a self-destruct button. I'm just saying.

Walter White:
I am the man that I am son, and there's plenty that I would change about that but, here we are and this is just what it is.

Jesse Pinkman:
This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed... b*tch!

Jesse Pinkman:
This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed, b*tch!

Saul Goodman:
Don't drink and drive. But if you do, call me.

Marie Schrader:
[on phone] Hank, why are there what looks like brains in our garbage can?

B*tch

I am not in the the danger, I AM THE DANGER

Say my name.