Cheers1982

Sam Malone:
Oh, Carla, boy I hate to criticize, but I can't actually believe you read these sleazy scandal sheets?! I mean, look at this. I'm even above this. "Bigfoot Stole My Wife". "Have Aliens Taken Over Your Pet?" I mean, this is garbage.

Carla Tortelli:
For your information Sam, I don't read those articles. I think they're just as stupid as you do. I get it because they happen to have a great crossword puzzle.

Carla Tortelli:
[sits and starts working the the puzzle] OK, let's see. 7-across, "Five-headed cow born in Vermont".

[pauses]

Carla Tortelli:
Maybelle.

[starts writing]

Carla Tortelli:
16-across, "State with the most UFO babies". Arkansas.

[writes]

Sam Malone:
[mutters incredulously] I don't believe this.

Carla Tortelli:
32-across, "Aphrodisiac found in every kitchen cabinet".

[Sam secretly starts showing some interest, but still feigns disinterest]

Carla Tortelli:
Uh, I don't know what that one is. Let me see what 14-down is. "Where Franco's brain is being kept alive". Fishtank. OK, so, the fifth letter of the aphrodisiac is an A. Now I remember: oregano.

Sam Malone:
[Sam secretly grabs a napkin and pen, and starts scribbling "oregano"] Trash.