Cheers1982

Diane Chambers:
As often happens in my life, this gentleman is becoming much too serious much too fast. He's wearing that smitten look I know so well. I've got to do something before it goes any further.

Sam Malone:
Uh-huh. I see.

Diane Chambers:
For the first time in my life, I can't bring myself to tell the truth to a man, so I need a lie. And God forgive me, I'm coming to you for help.

Sam Malone:
Well, I'm flattered. Um, all right, let me, let me give this a little thought here. All right, all right, I've never passed this one on before, but I think it's the ticket here. It's neat, it's fast, clean, and best of all, it makes them want them want to get away from you. Here's what you do. Tell him you have a contagious skin condition, and that insanity runs in your family.

Diane Chambers:
[mockingly] Very sensitive.

Sam Malone:
Thank you. It's a gift.

Diane Chambers:
Sam, I have never been more grateful to you than I am now. I just looked into the face of insensitivity and dishonesty and it made me blanch. I am going out there and I am going to break up with Stuart, but I'm going to do it honestly, straightforwardly and yet caringly. I'll tell him the truth of my feelings: that I'm not attracted to him romantically, although I am very attracted to him as a friend. And I'll say it a way that, that he will accept and understand and be grateful for. Do you even begin to understand what I'm trying to say?

Sam Malone:
Everything except the part where you changed your name to Blanche.

Diane Chambers:
Good-bye Sam.

Sam Malone:
Good-bye Blanche.