Delocated2008

Jon:
Um, before I get ahead of myself here, I just want to clear up in case -- I've got some unfamiliar faces, to me at least, out here. I'm David's Dad. My name is Jon. I just wanted to make sure no one out there thinks there was a bank "Ska-ber" running around. [chuckles]

One guy at the back:
[coughs]

Jon:
Oh, come on. Bank Skaber. Bank Robber, Bank Skaber. Robber, Ska, Skaber. Easily the most creative and least obvious ska pun of the night gets nothing. I see. Okay. I didn't even want to do this in the first place. You know, I wouldn't even be thinking of ska puns, wasting my time with it, if David hadn't decided to disgrace God with a ska-themed Bar Mitzvah. It was his first decision as a man, and I decided to go with it. And, uh, let's just hope his decision get a little better from here.

Jon:
Oh, also, I thought of a pretty good knock-knock joke today that I thought I would share. You guys can tell it at school later. Here it goes. "Knock knock", "Who's there"? "The federal agent". "The federal agent, who"? "The federal agent who is obviously trying to plant his bone in my wife's front yard. So obvious. It's like every time I look, it's like -- Oh, really? You can't be, like, a little more subtle about it?

[Mike snatches the microphone from Jon]

Jon:
Hey, give me the microphone back.

Mike:
Come on, Jon, let's go.

Jon:
Give me the microphone. Or do you want to have gangbang with all your ska buddies with my wife at the ska club?

Mike:
[to the audience] Sorry, everybody.

Jon:
Move.

Mike:
[to the audience] Uh, Skazel Tov.