Home Improvement1991

Jill Taylor:
Tim, didn't you hear one word that doctor said?

Tim Taylor:
Yeah, yeah. She wants to take the Zippidy out of my Doo-Dah!

Jill Taylor:
Look, I know how hard it was for you to even talk to that doctor, but I'd hoped that once we got out of there we could have a rational, reasonable discussion about it.

Tim Taylor:
We did - in the car on the way home.

Jill Taylor:
All you did all the way home was come up with one ridiculous excuse after another.

Tim Taylor:
That's not true. I merely said that for this sort of thing, it might be better to wait for warmer weather.

Jill Taylor:
[sarcastic] I'll knit you a little sweater!

Tim Taylor:
You heard what she said: shots, shaving. You don't understand about the pain down there. [turns on the TV]

Jill Taylor:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute! [turns off the TV] I don't understand about the pain down there? I, who had three children *ripped* from my loins? In what is laughingly described as "natural" childbirth?

Tim Taylor:
Oh boy, here we go. The pain of childbirth. Isn't there a statute of limitations on this?

Jill Taylor:
Isn't there a statute of limitations on you being a complete bonehead?

Tim Taylor:
No. [gets up and walks around the room. Jill follows him]

Jill Taylor:
You are totally unwilling to accept responsibility for what I have accepted total responsibility for since we met!

Tim Taylor:
This is not about accepting responsibility. This is about me being neutered and chewing on my slippers! [gets his jacket]

Jill Taylor:
Who said anything about you being neutered?

Tim Taylor:
Certain experts I talked to.

Jill Taylor:
Oh, what experts? Harry and Benny? Where'd they get their degrees? University of I'm An Idiot?

Tim Taylor:
Well, they may be idiots but they think exactly like I do! [walks out]