Home and Away1988

Alf Stewart:
[Banging on Adam's caravan door] Cameron! I know you're in there!

Adam Cameron:
Do you think that could be Alf?

Greg Marshall:
Yeah, well it sounds like him!

[knocking gets louder]

Alf Stewart:
Cameron, Open this flamin' door!

Greg Marshall:
Uh, Maybe you should let him in.

Adam Cameron:
Well, I don't know. Strange things have been going on round here lately, mate. Did you hear, Ryan's caravan got trashed by this madman?

Greg Marshall:
Yeah, I think you'd better let him in.

Adam Cameron:
Hey, Alf. If it's about the graffiti in the ladies' dunnies, I can explain everything, mate.

Alf Stewart:
Open this flamin' door before I do something I regret!

[Adam opens the door, Alf spots Greg]

Alf Stewart:
What the *hell* have you been up to, the pair of ya?

Greg Marshall:
[Sees letter in Alf's hand] Hey, uh, that isn't what I think it is?

Alf Stewart:
It's a flamin' summons for me to appear in court on illegal using of fishing nets!

Adam Cameron:
[Shows Alf his summons] Snap.

Greg Marshall:
But Alf, you weren't even there.

Alf Stewart:
I know I wasn't flamin' there, but I got a very nasty feelin' someone *was* there, *weren't* they?

Adam Cameron:
What? how'd they know they were your nets?

Alf Stewart:
Because I've got a tag on the flamin' thing with my flamin' name on it!

Adam Cameron:
Well, we'll just get a warning. First offence, eh?

Alf Stewart:
Don't talk absolute twaddle, Cameron! First offenders are so lucky to get off with $10,000 fines! You read about it in the paper every week! Now you blokes you got me into this mess, and I'm *damn* sure you're gonna get me out of it!

[slams door]