Home and Away

[repeated line]

Alf Stewart:
Stone the flamin' crows!

Kirsty Sutherland:
How's Matilda?

Kim Hyde:
All right, no thanks to me.

Irene Roberts:
Oh, will you give it a rest!

Morag Bellingham:
Well, if it isn't the young man who insulted me on the beach a few days ago.

Josh West:
Are you just using me for my car?

Dani Sutherland:
And for your lips. But mainly for your car.

Morag Bellingham:
[to Colleen] What the hell are you talking about you stupid woman?

Irene Roberts:
[frequent expression of exasperation] Gawd Save Ireland.

Kit Hunter:
My Dad always said, "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

Alf Stewart:
[depressed after Ailsa's death] I don't care if the flamin' diner sinks to the bottom of the sea

[trying to put together a chair with a then-alcoholic Irene]

Alf Stewart:
[shouting] You couldn't read instructions if they were written a mile high in whiskey bottles, and that's saying something!

Colleen Smart:
What if their plane's hijinked? You'll never forgive yourself!

Colleen Smart:
I couldn't bear to spend my last days surrounded by boiled cabbage and incompetence pads!

Josie Russell:
Irene?

Irene Roberts:
Eh?

Josie Russell:
Could you get Tasha to sit down and talk to me, please?

[Irene scoffs]

Josie Russell:
I just want her to realise that this whole resort thing isn't personal, it's just a job.

Irene Roberts:
Yeah, well I'm sorry, but I can't help you.

Josie Russell:
You can't or you won't?

Irene Roberts:
Both. You know, even if I wanted to, which I don't, there's no way Tasha's going to listen to anything you have to say.

Alf Stewart:
He's as crooked as a dog's hind leg!

Alf Stewart:
You've been drinking!

Jesse McGregor:
Look, mate, it's none of your business.

Alf Stewart:
I'll make it my flamin' business if you're gonna go out serving the customers half-sloshed!

Josie Russell:
I beg your pardon?

Morag Bellingham:
As well you should!

Robbie Hunter:
[on the sands Resort Development Protest] We can't lie down in front of Bulldozers!

Martha McKenzie:
Why not?

Robbie Hunter:
Because I don't want my pants pressed while I'm wearing them!

Alf Stewart:
One chocolate shake and a Simpson.

Curtis Reed:
A What?

Alf Stewart:
An OJ!

Diana Fraser:
Let's hope Chloe keeps the same consistency.

Lachlan Fraser:
Mum, she's not a bowl of custard!

Morag Bellingham:
Donald, how lovely to see you.

Donald Fisher:
Morag, you almost make that sound believable.

Josh West:
Morag!

Morag Bellingham:
Mrs. Bellingham to you!

Josh West:
Er, yes... Care for a drink?

Morag Bellingham:
No, thank you, I only drink with friends.

Colleen Smart:
You know what they say, Every clown has a silver lining.

Irene Roberts:
Colleen, You're an idiot.

Beth Hunter:
[about Robbie] I went out to get the paper and look who followed me home. Can we keep him?

Colleen Smart:
Well, it isn't hard to figure out what's going on, Maximus. I wasn't born yesterday!

Max Sutherland:
You can say that again. I mean, you're very smart, Mrs. Smart.

Gypsy Nash:
I Love you, Shelly.

Shelley Sutherland:
No you don't.

Gypsy Nash:
No, you're right. I don't.

Carly:
[Lynn looks on as Carly and Matt make eyes at each other on the beach] I'm Carly.

Surfer/Matt:
I'm Matt.

Lynn:
I'm *sick!*

Greg Marshall:
[after walking back on the trail at the ranch while Bobby and Sam ride horses] I've got blisters the size of Golf balls down here!

Sam Nicholls:
Wow! Can you come to show and tell?

Pippa Ross:
[after Irene schemes to get Fin and Damian back home] Well, that means Irene wins this petty battle over them at their expense.

Michael Ross:
Well, I don't know what we can do to stop her, short of *really* bopping her over the head.

Pippa Ross:
Oh, don't tempt me.

Alf Stewart:
[Banging on Adam's caravan door] Cameron! I know you're in there!

Adam Cameron:
Do you think that could be Alf?

Greg Marshall:
Yeah, well it sounds like him!

[knocking gets louder]

Alf Stewart:
Cameron, Open this flamin' door!

Greg Marshall:
Uh, Maybe you should let him in.

Adam Cameron:
Well, I don't know. Strange things have been going on round here lately, mate. Did you hear, Ryan's caravan got trashed by this madman?

Greg Marshall:
Yeah, I think you'd better let him in.

Adam Cameron:
Hey, Alf. If it's about the graffiti in the ladies' dunnies, I can explain everything, mate.

Alf Stewart:
Open this flamin' door before I do something I regret!

[Adam opens the door, Alf spots Greg]

Alf Stewart:
What the *hell* have you been up to, the pair of ya?

Greg Marshall:
[Sees letter in Alf's hand] Hey, uh, that isn't what I think it is?

Alf Stewart:
It's a flamin' summons for me to appear in court on illegal using of fishing nets!

Adam Cameron:
[Shows Alf his summons] Snap.

Greg Marshall:
But Alf, you weren't even there.

Alf Stewart:
I know I wasn't flamin' there, but I got a very nasty feelin' someone *was* there, *weren't* they?

Adam Cameron:
What? how'd they know they were your nets?

Alf Stewart:
Because I've got a tag on the flamin' thing with my flamin' name on it!

Adam Cameron:
Well, we'll just get a warning. First offence, eh?

Alf Stewart:
Don't talk absolute twaddle, Cameron! First offenders are so lucky to get off with $10,000 fines! You read about it in the paper every week! Now you blokes you got me into this mess, and I'm *damn* sure you're gonna get me out of it!

[slams door]

Alf Stewart:
[after Shane hits him with paint while messing around with Damian] What the hell have you blokes got for brains, eh? Jelly? I tell you what; As soon as I get cleaned up, I'll make sure you blokes never forget this day as long as you live!

Shane Parrish:
He started it!

Damian Roberts:
I didn't!

Michael Ross:
I don't care *who* started it...

Alf Stewart:
I just wanna know who the hell is gonna *pay* for it!

Michael Ross:
Oh, they'll pay, don't worry! [to Damian] You, get some turps from the laundry [to Shane] and you, get some Dish washing liquid the laundry and some paper towels from the kitchen. [to Alf who tries to rub the paint off] Don't that, mate you'll make it worse!

Alf Stewart:
It couldn't be any flamin' worse!

Michael Ross:
We'll get you cleaned up and stick you in the shower!

Alf Stewart:
Look at the shirt, would ya? It's absoultely ruined! I mean, what in the hell did you think you were doing letting those two imbeciles alone on their own anyway?

Michael Ross:
Don't blame *me*, Mate!

Alf Stewart:
Look at me flamin' trousers, I might as well chuck 'em out!

Michael Ross:
Just sit down and let us get you cleaned up!

Shane Parrish:
I can't find any towel.

Michael Ross:
Are you blind? It's gotta be there! [goes into kitchen]

Damian Roberts:
Here, this'll get it all off. [rubs Alf with turpentine]

Alf Stewart:
[in pain] HOLY GHOST! That stings! What the *hell* are you trying to, blind me as well?

Damian Roberts:
Sorrry!

Alf Stewart:
Nobody light any matches! [Damian is no longer able to control his laughter] And what the hell are *you* laughing at? My boy, when this over, you're gonna wish you'd never been born! And *exactly* the same goes for that Imbecillic mate of yours!

Alf Stewart:
[to Ryan as he comes in the store] You know, Most people round here reckon you're so low you could get under a snake in stilts and a top hat.

Alf Stewart:
[to Luke who is blowing his Saxophone outside the store] Oi! Cut that out Immediately!

Alf Stewart:
[Yelling at Luke who continues playing his sax] I hope you've got a permit for that!

Alf Stewart:
[Spots Luke in the surf club] Aw, don't tell me I'm gonna have to deal with *you* again!

Luke Cunningham:
[Whispers To Sally] Whoops, it's Mr. Teddy Bear.

Alf Stewart:
What?

Luke Cunningham:
Nice to see you.

Alf Stewart:
Yeah. On your bike!

Luke Cunningham:
I thought we established I didn't need a permit.

Alf Stewart:
Maybe not on the street but you're on private property now.

Luke Cunningham:
I see. You own this place now, too?

Alf Stewart:
I'm the president. No buskers, bludgers or big 'eads allowed.

Sally Fletcher:
But he's a good musician.

Alf Stewart:
Sal, stay out of it.

Sally Fletcher:
But we want him here.

[Crowd agree with her]

Alf Stewart:
That's enough outta you lot; Bye-laws are Bye-laws.

Sally Fletcher:
They're so stupid.

Alf Stewart:
Sally, I'll deal with you later

[Luke blows a note on his sax]

Alf Stewart:
If I hear one more squawk out of you, I'll have the cops do you for tresspassing!

[Luke plays squeaky note]

Alf Stewart:
THAT'S ENOUGH!

Luke Cunningham:
Okay, Okay! You win.

Alf Stewart:
'Course I flamin' *win*. Now pack your gear up and get the hell out of here. If I ever see you around here, you'll get more trouble than you'll know what to do with.

Luke Cunningham:
Sorry folks, that's the end of the show. Check out the beach tomorrow, huh?

Ailsa Stewart:
Karen?

Karen Dean:
[Dusting] There's no way I'm cleaning the dunny!

Ailsa Stewart:
I wouldn't *dare* ask.

Karen Dean:
What do you want?

Ailsa Stewart:
Do you want anything special for dinner?

Karen Dean:
Oh, whatever.

[Accidentally Knocks vase to floor]

Karen Dean:
Oops.

[singing]

Karen Dean:
Another One Bites the Dust...

Ailsa Stewart:
Karen...

Karen Dean:
Sorry.

[Chuckles]

Ailsa Stewart:
You don't *sound* too sorry.

Karen Dean:
Well, it's only an old vase. You can get another one.

Ailsa Stewart:
It was a present, from Alf.

Karen Dean:
[snorts] Well, it was only good for collecting dead flies and dirt. Don't worry, I did you a favor; You don't have to clean it anymore.

Ailsa Stewart:
You selfish little b*tch! You are *not* treating me or my house like garbage *any* longer; Do you understand? I've had a gutful! Now you get out before I do something I might regret! Out! Go on, Get out! Now!

Shane Parrish:
[In Biology class about to dissect a rat] Good thing we're not cutting up Tug, wouldn't find a brain if we were!

Tug O'Neale:
[Tug sees Roxy's old swimsuit photos in a magazine] Yes, Sir!

Alf Stewart:
[Alf and Morag are discussing what to do about custody of Roo's baby] "Satisfactory to both parties"? You're talking like a judge, Morag.

Morag Bellingham:
I *am* a judge!

Roo Stewart:
[Brett turns up at Morag's] Here he is. Dad, No Trouble, ok?

Alf Stewart:
It's up to him, isn't it?

Brett Macklin:
Roo. Mr Stewart. Lovely Day.

Alf Stewart:
Not helped by your carry-on.

Brett Macklin:
How are you?

Alf Stewart:
Fine. Now can we cut the small talk and get on with it?

Brett Macklin:
I thought it was just going to be Roo and I.

Alf Stewart:
It is. I just have to settle one thing before you two go off...

Brett Macklin:
What's that?

Alf Stewart:
This.

[punches Brett to the ground]

Alf Stewart:
That's for all the pain you caused Roo. Doesn't square the account but makes me feel a lot better. Now get inside and do what you have to do.

Tug O'Neale:
Hey, I want a word with you, Parrish. How come you're so interested in this stupid musical all of a sudden?

Shane Parrish:
Should be a laugh.

Tug O'Neale:
You're just doin' it, to crack onto Sarah.

Shane Parrish:
[laughs] Get real.

Tug O'Neale:
You'd do anything to get back at me, wouldn't you?

Shane Parrish:
You're paranoid, Tug.

Tug O'Neale:
You get that part, Parrish and you're dead meat!

Damian Roberts:
[spots Angel wearing a "Summer Bay Fish Shop" shirt] Is that where you're working? The fish and chip shop?

Angel Brooks:
[sarcastic] No, I just think this shirt's cool, what do you reckon?

Donald:
[Discussing Adam and Shane's encyclopedia sales] It's not gonna happen, I flatly refuse.

Alf:
Hang on, Don. Have you looked into this properly?

Donald:
Looked into what? We're dealing with Adam Cameron?

Alf:
Yeah, I know that. But I mean, they'd be good for the school. Wouldn't they?

Donald:
Well Yes, but at what price?

Bobby:
Dad, they're free. No charge, You know, Zilch?

Alf:
Gee, Don. I don't reckon you oughta look a gift horse in the mouth, encyclopedias don't grown on trees, you know...

Alf Stewart:
[after Damian scores a penalty in training] Well pickle me grandma.

Alf Stewart:
[about Sarah's unsupervised party] It'll be a disaster, Ailse. A Flamin' disaster!

Ailsa Stewart:
[Alf and and Ailsa return home] Hi, kids.

Alf Stewart:
[Sees Sarah, Angel, Tug and Shane playing strip poker] What the... What the flamin' hell's going on here?

Tug O'Neale:
[Tug sees Shane putting up a sign for the musical outside the surf club] Sign's a bit low.

Shane Parrish:
It'll do, I'm not gonna take it down again.

Tug O'Neale:
Listen, I've been thinking. I've been pretty paranoid about you and Sarah doing this musical together. Pretty stupid, what do you reckon, eh?

Shane Parrish:
[chuckles] I don't think it's stupid at all.

Tug O'Neale:
Hey?

Shane Parrish:
I don't think you're being paranoid at all, either.

Tug O'Neale:
Sorry, you've lost me.

Shane Parrish:
You'd seriously think, a guy like me and a guy like you could ever be friends? Now I'm gonna go on stage tonight, and when I'm finished, Sarah's gonna know what it feels like to be kissed by a *real* man. A man who knows what he's doing. And the best thing; All you can do is watch me and *burn*. Catch you later, little buddy.

[walks off, leaving Tug stunned]

Roxy:
[Trying to convince Nick to take part in the Musical] Nick,please! For old times sake!

Nick:
What do you mean? We don't have any old times.

Roxy:
Well, we might one day!

Nick:
Pleased with Tonight's effort?

Tug:
Yeah, I reckon I am.

Nick:
I bet you think you're a big man, too. Have I got news for you; You are plain and simple an idiot.

Tug:
Ah, that's *rich*, comin' from a bloke in a dress! [Bobby Drags Tug away, Nick looks down at his costume]

Tug:
[Justifying his actions for punching Shane during the performance] Ever since he got out of jail, he's been after me.

Luke:
That's got nothing to do with the musical.

Tug:
He tried to get back at me by getting stuck into my girlfriend. At least everyone knows what a lowlife he is now.

Alf:
I hope you realise you owe me a new pair of strides!

Tug:
Oh, what you are you on about?

Alf:
*Hot* Coffee! That's what I'm on about, I'll never get that flamin' stain out!

Tug:
Well go and talk to Shane; It's got nothing to do with me

[Bobby gets out of her seat to see the commotion on stage]

Alf:
The Hell it's got nothin' to do with you! You were the one who knocked the coffee out of my hand!

Bobby:
I told you, there's no point in shouting at him, Alf.

Luke:
[Sarcastically] And what do you suggest; Shake his hand for a "job well done"? There aren't too many people that can ruin an *entire* musical in one fell swoop!

Alf:
You'd better get him outta here, Bobby. Before someone strings him up!

Bobby:
Come on, Tug.

Tug:
I wanna see Sarah.

Bobby:
You can see her tomorrow...

Tug:
I wanna see her now...

Luke:
[shouting] JUST... leave.

Don:
[after Adam knocks over the Gumball machine to get his Floren coin back] Good Heavens, what...

Alf:
G'day, Don. Just be careful you don't break your neck, mate.

Don:
What happened?

Alf:
Well, it seems this Gumball machine *threw* itself on the floor and commited hari-kari!

Don:
Oh, really?

Alf:
Well, That's what I'm told anyway.

Adam Cameron:
[laughing as he finds the coin] You beauty!

Alf Stewart:
[Don and Alf look around] What was that?

Adam Cameron:
Nothing mate. You're cool, go on.

Alf Stewart:
It's a very sad case, Don. I think a bloke oughta pity him. [Adam chuckles as he pockets the coin]

Pippa:
[Adam arrives at the beach house] Adam, what are you doing here?

Adam:
Pip, Greg's there and I wanna speak to him.

Pippa:
If he sees you...

Adam:
[walks past] It's alright.

Greg:
What the hell are you doing here?

Adam:
Well, there's something I wanna tell ya...

Greg:
Look, you... You just get outta here, Adam. You get out before I throw you out.

Adam:
I'm going. The reason I'm here is because of the insurance money. I want you to have it.

Greg:
You what?

Adam:
Insurance Money; when it comes through, it's yours.

Greg:
Adam, you get the *hell* out of here before I break your neck! [pushes him toward door]

Adam:
I'm only tryin' to help you man! I know you're strapped for cash, Sam was tellin' me?

Greg:
What?

Pippa:
No, look. I think you should go, Adam.

Adam:
I'm only trying to help, I don't want the money!

Pippa:
Yeah, I know. Just go, Adam, please. [slams the door]

Greg:
[Greg turns to Sam] What were you doing talking to Adam?

Sam:
Why?

Greg:
Why were you talking to him?

Sam:
I was the on beach...

Pippa:
Greg...

Greg:
Just keep out of this, Pip! [to Sam] If ever catch you talking to him again, I'm gonna smack you so hard you won't be able to sit down for a week! Do you understand?

Sam:
But I haven't done anything wrong!

Greg:
Adam *killed* Bobby! Do you understand *that*? Adam killed Bobby!

Adam:
G'day, Sam. [Sam picks up a stick and throws it, hitting Adam in the head] Ah! [falls to ground]

Sam:
Got him, dad! [Greg and Morag rush over]

Greg:
Come here, Sam. [grabs him]

Adam:
What the hell did you do that *for*?

Greg:
[to Sam] Just stay away from him, he's not worth it, okay? [Greg, Sam and Morag walk off; Adam holds his head]

Alf:
[Adam enters the store, Alf in the back] With ya in two shakes.

[Sees Adam]

Alf:
Get out.

Adam:
No.

Alf:
Do I have to pick ya up and throw ya out?

Adam:
I'm not here to cause trouble. I just want some milk and some bread.

Alf:
I'm not serving you.

Adam:
Man, I got a right to be served.

Alf:
You got no rights at all! Now get the hell out of here!

Adam:
What do I have to *do*? If I could change things; It's not gonna happen, no matter how bad I want it! If you wanna hate me, fine! But I don't deserve this!

Alf:
There are plenty of Supermarkets in Yabbie Creek!

Adam:
They're too far away!

Alf:
That's not my problem, Now get out of here!

Adam:
No! Not until you ease up on me!

Alf:
Righto, That it!

[grabs Adam]

Adam:
Get your hands off me, will ya?

Alf:
GET OUT OF MY SHOP!

Maitre'D:
Are you sure you have the right restaurant?

Kevin:
Yeah, this is the right place.

[points out Damian and Angel]

Kevin:
I'm with them. And in case you're wonder, I have got the money and it comes in all colours except *black*!

Maitre'D:
Very good, sir. Please join your friends.

Kevin:
Thank you.

[Maitre'D still gives him a dirty look]

Adam:
So How are you mate?

Sam:
[Jumps off his stool] You killed Bobby, and I hate you for it!

Donald:
Sam...

Sam:
It's true! She's never coming back and Dad's gone and it's all your fault! Don't you ever talk to me again and I hate you! And I hope you die!

Donald:
Sam, that's enough.

Sam:
It's true! I *do* hate him and I do hope he dies!

Donald:
No you don't, now come on. Not another word. [ushers Sam out of diner]

Shane:
[after Donald suggests drop a level in English] Yeah, you'd be right at home with the dummies, wouldn't you, Tug?

[laughs, Tug throws his copy of the book down and goes to attack Shane]

Donald:
Shane, shut up! O'Neale!

[Tug grabs Shane and shoves him, Kevin and another boy restrain Tug while Shane is held back by two others]

Kevin:
Get off!

Donald:
Keep them apart!

Tug:
Shut up, Flathead!

Donald:
I am *warning* you, That is enough of *that*!

Tug:
What? *He* started it!

Donald:
I don't care who started it; Any more of this and you will find yourself suspended!

Tug:
Don't waste your breath. You can't suspend me, I just quit!

Sarah:
Tug!

Donald:
Sarah, just stay where you are. Honestly, I have just never seen such a display of...

[flustered]

Donald:
come on now, Everyone back to their desks! come let's get this classroom back in some sort of order!

Sam:
[Sees Adam on the beach and goes to pick up a stick] Get off our beach!

Adam:
Sam, put the stick down!

Sam:
Dad says you're bad!

Nick:
Alright, now. Put the stick down!

Sam:
They're gonna put you in jail for millions of years! And when you come out me and Dad are gonna get you!

Nick:
Ok, Sam. Put the stick down. [Sam complies, Adam walks off]

Morag:
Well, This looks delicious

Sam:
I hate cabbage.

Donald:
Sam...

Sam:
I hate it.

Shane:
Too bad, It's what you got.

Sam:
I'm not gonna eat it.

Donald:
Then just put it on one side, alright?

Shane:
Typical! Let him get away with it again!

Donald:
[to Morag] I can't see any point forcing it down his throat, can you?

Morag:
I don't suppose so.

Shane:
Next thing, he'll be telling us *what* to cook?

Donald:
It's hardly worth making an issue out of.

Shane:
No, it's not just this. It's everything.

Donald:
Shane, leave it.

Shane:
No, No. I'm sick of it. You let him get away with anything!

Donald:
Well, quite frankly it's got nothing to do with you.

Shane:
You're kidding! Sam can't do a thing wrong and nobody's supposed to say a damn thing about it.

Donald:
No, no they're not!

Shane:
Even when he's making a total nuisance of himself?

Donald:
Why don't you just leave it alone and eat your meal, hmm?

Shane:
No, *You* eat it. I've had a gutful; I'm sick of that little turkey calling the shots. [gets up and leaves]

Luke:
[sees Nathan sat a desk] You might be able to pull the wool over everyone else's eyes, but don't make the mistake of thinking you can pull it over mine.

Nathan:
Mr. Fisher was looking for you; He was angry about something or other.

Luke:
He found me.

Nathan:
Nice man, Mr. Fisher. I think he and I'll get along real well.

Luke:
[enters the classroom] You know what your trouble is; you're just not as clever as you think you are.

Nathan:
I do alright.

Luke:
Take as much rope as you like, But remember I'll be there when you hang yourself. [leaves, Nathan is stunned]

Nathan:
[Nathan sees Luke jogging on the Beach] G'day, Mate.

Luke:
What do you want?

Nathan:
I just wanted to see if you were alright. You took a bit of a nasty fall back there.

Luke:
You're lucky I don't knock your head off.

Nathan:
You wouldn't hit a man in glasses, would you?

Luke:
No. No, I wouldn't waste my energy.

Nathan:
Oh, that's good; 'Cause I don't think Mr. Fisher would take too kindly to you beating up on his staff

Luke:
You'll keep.

[walks off]

Nathan:
Is that a threat or something?

Luke:
A *prediction*. It might be six weeks, It might be six months. But one day, you're gonna hang yourself and I'll be in the front row taking photos.

[walks off, Nathan shakes his head and smiles smugly]

Alf Stewart:
[opens the door to Nathan's car] What's going on here?

Nathan:
Oi!

Alf Stewart:
Don't "Oi!" me, You! Out!

Ailsa Stewart:
Oh, Alf. Please.

Sarah:
Please Don't...

Nathan:
What the hell do you think you're doing?

Alf Stewart:
Me?

Nathan:
I've heard about blokes like you... That's how you get your kicks, you old perv! [Alf rears back and punches Nathan in the jaw, causing him to fall onto the bonnet of the car]

Irene:
A cheap lush! The blasted hide of 'im!

Nathan:
It's alright, Mum. *We* know you're not cheap!

Irene:
Nathan, that isn't funny! [hits him]

Irene:
[after a fish she caught gets away] You know what went swimmin' out to sea with a big hunk of prawn in its gob?

Damian:
What?

Irene:
That Microwave Oven I've always dreamed about... Ah, well never mind.

Nathan:
Hey, Pal.

Tug:
What's up?

Nathan:
[grabs him] *You*, that's what!

Tug:
Get your hands off me! [pulls his hand away]

Nathan:
What are you trying to do to me and my girl?

Tug:
Nothin'. What are you on about?

Nathan:
So why did you tell her I got back earlier?

Tug:
Listen, pretty boy; I don't know what your problem is but if I were you, I'd go and see someone about it.

Nathan:
Mate, if you're looking for trouble, you've just found it! [lashes out at Tug, Tug retaliates by shoving Nathan]

Ailsa:
Alright, that's enough! There'll be no fighting around here. If you wanna do that; go outside.

Nathan:
Mind your own business.

Ailsa:
It *is* my business.

Nathan:
This is between *him* and *me*.

Ailsa:
Oh, no it's not! This Diner is *my* business and I'm protecting it from being smashed up by no-good louts like *you*. Ever since you came to Summer Bay, you've done nothing but 'cause trouble. Well, you won't get away with it in *here*. You try anything and you are *out*! Do I make myself quite clear? [Nathan glares at her]

Alf:
[about the horse Irene has put some money] "Distant Rumble"? sounds more like a bad case of indigestion!

Nathan:
[Irene comes home, knowing of Nathan's theft] That you, Mum? You get everything? [silence] Mum?

Irene:
[walks into the living room] Get up.

Nathan:
What?

Irene:
[yelling] I said *Get up*!

Nathan:
What's your problem? [Irene grabs his magazine] Hey, lay off me magazine!

Irene:
I don't give a *stuff* about your magazine! [pushes him] Now get in your room and pack your bags!

Nathan:
What?

Irene:
You heard! I want you out, Pronto!

Nathan:
What's going on?

Irene:
What's goin' on?; Your leavin' town, you're movin' out! [pokes him in the chest]

Nathan:
[sniffs Irene's breath] You been drinkin' or somethin'? [Irene grabs his vest]

Irene:
Don't you get smart with *me*! I have had it up to *here* with you and your pathetic games!

Nathan:
I dunno what anybody's told you...

Irene:
I don't why I didn't see it sooner! Lookin' at you lounging on the couch, stuffing your face with that sandwich! Do You know what you are? A Lazy, Devious, Good-for-nothing crook, that's what!

Nathan:
Have you been listening to Damian? Has he been spreadin' stories about me?

Irene:
Nothing I shouldn't have seen coming years ago!

Nathan:
I'm gonna kill him!

Irene:
[grabs Nathan again] You won't touch a hair on his head! He's worthy twenty of you! *Fifty*! Now get out of my sight!

Nathan:
Listen mum, I know what Damian's told you but it's not true. He's just trying to get back at me.

Irene:
I'm ashamed of ya. That's all I am. Ya make me *sick*! The trust I put in you all these years. Nothing was too much trouble and *this* is how you repay me! And not just me; all of us. You don't give a *toss* about anyone except yourself! [tosses him clothes] Now start packin'! You've got ten minutes and I never ever wanna see your ugly mug again! [Nathan slinks off to his room]

Donald Fisher:
I'll only take so much from you.

Alan Fisher:
Oh, No You won't. You'll take as much as I can dish out, Mr Big Man! Hitting out at women and children, You're not so tough when someone stands up to you. You're a gutless wonder.

Donald Fisher:
[Seething] No... I won't be dragged down to your level. Your mother was right; We'll talk about this tommorow and I can assure you, You are going to be *very* sorry.

[walks away]

Alan Fisher:
I knew you were too gutless to hit me!

Donald Fisher:
[turns back] Gutless? No! Civillized.

[walks away]

Alan Fisher:
[a crowd gathers; Alan holds his head] Oh no!

Bobby Simpson:
Alan?

Donald Fisher:
[lurches back over to Alan] Alan? Alan? Alan, what it is it? Is it the aneurysm? For god's sake what is it?

Alan Fisher:
[Is fine and begins taunting Donald] Oh, Dad. Never knew you cared?

[smiles]

Donald Fisher:
You swine... You malicious, little swine!

[hits Alan with the back of his hand]

Alan Fisher:
[Crowd recoils in shock, Alan taunts Donald once more] Bang... You're Dead!

Roxy Miller:
[Sarah's home perm fails] I told you this was a bad move.

Sarah Thompson:
I *cannot* let anyone see me like this!

Roxy Miller:
Don't think you've got much choice.

Sarah Thompson:
I look like Ronald McDonald and Shirley Temple rolled into one!

Damian:
[after the boys rope Luke in to convince Ailsa to restart the delivery service] This time the operation will run as smooth as silk.

Ailsa:
Alright. No more Hiccups.

Damian:
Nope, No more embarassing hiccups!

Shane:
[salutes] Scout's Honour.

Ailsa:
Were you ever in the scouts?

Shane:
No.

Ailsa:
I thought not.

Jack Wilson:
[after sticking a "Kick Me" sign on Shane's back] Cockroaches One, Punnet Heads Nil.

Alf Stewart:
[Shane reads a paper without buying] Stone the Flamin' crows! Anyone'd think I was runnin' a library.

Irene:
[Another bidder puts in an offer for the Beach House] Who's that?

Luke:
Joe Banks the Butcher in Yabbie Creek.

Irene:
Yeah, well I've just become a vegetarian!

Luke:
You can't have a proper shower in two minutes.

Tug:
It takes him an hour and a half to wash his hair!

Irene:
Well he's gonna have to get himself a crew cut, isn't he?

Donald Fisher:
Mr. Wilson?

Jack Wilson:
Ah, Yes, sir?

Donald Fisher:
Why haven't you changed into your sports uniform?

Jack Wilson:
Well, I'm not in any races, sir.

Donald Fisher:
I see.

Jack Wilson:
Does this mean I can get the day off?

Donald Fisher:
No, it most certainly does *not*. [turns to students in corridor] No-one is to leave the school grounds until all the events are finished. [turns back to Jack] and please take those sunglasses off when you're talking to me.

Jack Wilson:
I can't sir; I'm protecting myself from harmful UV Rays. Research has shown...

Donald Fisher:
Research? Research has also shown that there are surprisingly very few UV Rays in *this corridor*. [calls to Luke] Mr. Cunningham? Mr. Wilson seems to be under the impression he will not be competing today.

Luke Cunningham:
You haven't checked the board. You're down for three races.

Jack Wilson:
The Egg and Spoon Race?

Luke Cunningham:
Hmmm... We don't have Egg and Spoon Races in High School.

Jack Wilson:
The Three-legged race?

Luke Cunningham:
No...

Jack Wilson:
Sack Race?

Luke Cunningham:
No.

Jack Wilson:
Pity. I reckon I'd be pretty good in the sack.

Luke Cunningham:
Really? Go get changed.

Jack Wilson:
Yes, sir. [goes upstairs]

Luke Cunningham:
Quite a character.

Donald Fisher:
Yes, he's also trouble. Too clever by half if you ask me!

Shane:
We'll do it, Alf.

Alf:
Do What?

Shane:
We'll deliver the bed and install it. For Fifty Bucks.

Alf:
Twenty-Five.

Damian:
Forty-Five.

Alf:
*Twenty-Five*.

Shane:
Forty.

Alf:
*Twenty-Five*.

Damian:
Thirty-Five.

Alf:
*Twenty-Five*.

Shane:
Thirty?

Alf:
*Twenty-Five*!

Damian:
Twenty! [smiling]

Alf:
Done!

Shane:
What are you doing, Boxhead?

Damian:
I got mixed up!

Alf:
So, Twenty it is. And I want it done first thing in the morning. Nice doing business with you, boys.

Alf:
[the boys have brought in the bed] Just go steady with it, Don't fling it around. You're not in a flamin' barn. [sees small box] What's in 'ere?

Shane:
They're the metal brackets [Shane moves his end of the bigger box causing the brackets to fall on Alf's foot]

Alf:
[in pain] HOGAN'S GHOST!If you can't be more careful, the whole flamin' job's off!

Damian:
Sorry, Sorry.

Ailsa:
Maybe we should clear the bedroom first so we can move the stuff straight in there.

Alf:
Yeah, it's a good idea, Ailse. Put that down and come with me, you blokes. I knew I shoulda done this meself.

Shane:
Actually, Alf. Before we go any further

Alf:
[Irritatedly] What?

Shane:
I should really explain the ding in the side of your car.

Alf:
What?

Shane:
I know a great panel beater who'll fix it so no-one'll know it was ever there!

Alf:
What the *hell* are you talking about?

Shane:
It was a joke, Alf. I'm only pulling your leg.

Alf:
You call that a joke young fella? You'd better work on your *material*! And if there's any ding in the side of my car, I'll pull more than your flamin' leg!

Alf Stewart:
[after seeing Nick has bent his putter] That was me favourite putter... I won 4 local club championships with that putter and the first ti... THE FIRST TIME I LEND THE FLAMIN'... *This* happens!

Alf:
[Alf is on his back on the floor, Door knocks] Yeah?

Damian:
Is that you, Mr Stewart?

Alf:
Well, who the hell else do you think'd it'd be? Get in here, you pair of flamin' galahs! [Shane and Damian] I wondered when you two would show your heads. Thought you'd lie low and it'd all blow over, did you?

Damian:
Um, no, no.

Shane:
No, Of course not, no.

Damian:
Do you need a hand up?

Alf:
No! I don't need a flamin' hand up. I'm perectly happy right here, thanks very much. Do you have any idea how much you two cost me?

Shane:
Well, you see Alf, what happened...

Alf:
I don't give a damn what happened, boy! The fact of the matter is you two, *blew* it! I could've flamin' drowned in there! That bed was in *perfect* condition when it was in the showroom, now it's about as watertight as the flamin' *Titanic*! It's useless! A Complete white elephant!

Damian:
We could get it professionally repaired, we tried to repair it with a bicycle tyre repair kit...

Alf:
Oh, What a load of flamin' garbage! You'd have to take it to the city to get it done properly and it'll cost you an arm and a leg.

Shane:
Well, we'd pay for it.

Alf:
Huh! I don't wanna hear about it again, I'm sick to death of the flamin' thing. But that doesn't let you two off the hook.

Damian:
What do you mean by that?

Alf:
*Somebody's* gotta pay for it!

Shane:
Come on, Alf. We don't have that sort of money!

Alf:
Well you can do your deliveries for free for the next couple of weeks. Might make you respect other people's property a bit.

Shane:
Yeah, okay. Fair enough.

Damian:
Yeah, sorry.

Shane:
It *was* an accident.

Damian:
Like we said, we didnt mean to do it, okay? [Boys get up to leave]

Alf:
Where do the hell do you think you're going, You're not leavin' here you know?

Shane:
Uh yeah, we are.

Alf:
No, you're not! You get into that room, *pump* that thing out, fold that bed up and stick it out in the shed, bring the old bed back and set it up! Now get going *Quick Smart* before I clobber the pair of ya!

Colleen Smart:
[after finding Martin has gotten Lance's $100,000 car stolen and chases him out of Lance's mobile home brandishing a saucepan] If I ever set eyes on you again, you'll get more than a belt over the head with a saucepan! You're just lucky I didn't have a *knife* handy!

Martin Dibble:
You wouldn't really kill a bloke, would you?

Colleen Smart:
No, but you'd have a squeaky voice for the rest of your life! Now get going before I find something sharp!

Jack:
[Jack has snuck into Fisher's room at night, thinking he is Angel and is on Don's bed] I thought we'd never get together. Me and You, We connect. It's like Magic. Can I get under the blankets?

Don:
NO! No You cannot! Get out! [throws the covers aside]

Jack:
Angel?

Don:
Get out of here!

Jack:
Aah! Far out! [runs for the window and exits hastily]

Don:
What do you think you're doing? What? [turns light on] What?

Don:
Sam, come on, I've gotta get you back to school.

Sam:
Guess what? Mr. Stewart's gonna sponsor me.

Don:
Oh, that's good of him

Sam:
Yeah and I'm the last flamin' one!

Don:
Oh, look, erm go and find yourself an Ice Cream while I... have a word with Alf.

Sam:
Yep. [goes to front of store]

Don:
Uh, Alf. I'm sorry but I;m afraid you're going to have to watch your language in front of the boy.

Alf:
What are you talking about, Don? I'm sure he didn't pick it up from *me*, I never use the Flamin' word!

Sam:
[while Blackmailing Don into sponsorship by threatening to tell everyone he taught him the word "Flamin'!"] I flamin' mean it...

Pippa:
[Jack is struggling during the 40-hour famine] Don't let the bed bugs bite.

Jack:
If I find any bed bugs, I'm gonna *eat* them!

Selina:
[Selina confronts Jack about ditching her ahead of the Deb Ball] I've got something I want you to hear; I've been thinking about it all night and now I'm gonna say it; Yesterday, I said it was okay about you not taking me to the ball, but it's not okay. The only reason you called it off is because I wouldn't come across and the only reason I said know is because I thought you were *better* than the others. Well, obviously I was wrong. If you think I enjoy being treated like a cheap *tart*. You're wrong; because I'm *not*. You're the one who's cheap. Real cheap. [Walks off, leaving Jack looking awkward while Pippa, Damian, Sam and Angel look on]

Alf Stewart:
[to Irene when she messes up her dance steps] You couldn't read instructions if they were written a mile high in flamin' whiskey bottles and that's sayin' something!

Shane:
What'd your last slave die of?

Alf:
We threw him to the lions because he wouldn't do what he was told.

Alf:
[after shooting down Irene's offer of cosmetting] I'll start puttin' on a moisturiser when the Pope's a Sheila!

Jack:
[to Zac, who Alf has told off for Vandalism] Talk about a Nazi!

Alf:
I'll pretend I didn't hear that! And if you know what's good for you, you'll get stuck into that painting straight away!

Alf:
You'd better pray there's witnesses round, Pal, or I'm gonna break you in half!

Michael:
What's going on?

Alf:
It's not enough for him to call me a flamin' Nazi to my face, but he's gotta tell the whole world, hasn't he?

Jack:
I didn't tell anybody anything!

Alf:
Young Michaelangelo here's had a busy night, he's been down the surf club doing more Graffiti! Does "Alf Stewart Nazi from Hell" mean anything to you?

Jack:
No.

Alf:
Like hell it doesn't!

Jack:
It doesn't, okay? I, I didn't do any...

Alf:
You're a flamin' liar!

Michael:
Where were you goin' last night that you couldn't take Sam?

Jack:
Just down to the beach.

Alf:
Yeah, with a can of spray paint!

Jack:
No!

Alf:
Too much of a coincidence, if you ask me. I tell you what; First of all he calls me a nazi to me *face*! And the next thing I know it's written on walls all around town. He did it alright, I'd bet my life on it.

[Jack looks stunned]

Damian:
[while staking out Zac] I wonder what Shane and Angel are doing right now? Probably wrapped up in each other's arms, pashing away... and Here I am, with you.

Jack:
Well, I'm not in the mood for a pash!

Damian:
Very funny!

Alf:
[after chasing Jack into the Surf club] Get back here, You young hooligan! [Jack tries to hide behind Damian]

Jack:
It was him [Grabs Zac] It was you that painted the wall! Gimme this! [yanks Zac's bag away, Zac tries to wrestle it away it away from Jack who pulls out a can of spray paint] Aha! There! What do you call this?

Zac:
Look, I've never seen it before! You must have planted it!

Jack:
Ah, Sure!

Alf:
[Grabs Zac's hand] If you've never seen that before, how come there's paint on your fingers?

Zac:
I don't know!

Jack:
What's the bet it matches the paint *outside*? Eh? Eh? Told ya! Here ya go! [gives Alf the spray can and goes behind Zac and grabs his arm] I arrest you in the name of the name of the law!

Alf:
[to Jack] Oh, Get out of it you, fool! [grabs Zac] Come over here, let's see what your parents have got to say about this! [Frogmarches Zac out of the club]

Michael:
[sees a despondent Damian, Jack and Sam at breakfast] Well, somebody sure robbed you lot of your Snap, Crackle and Pop this morning; I've seen livelier graveyards!

Alf:
[Alf and Pippa try to find out who has been calling an 0055 number and listen to the content] Strewth! That's a bit ripe!

Sally:
What is it?

Pippa:
Oh, that's disgusting!

Sally:
What are they saying?

Alf:
Holy Smoke!

Sally:
Pippa!

Alf:
Nothing you need to know about, young lady.

Pippa:
It's a sex line, Sal. A very Explicit one.

Alf:
That sort of thing shouldn't be allowed! I mean, What if some kid accidentally dialled that number?

Pippa:
Alf, some kid *did*. And even if it was an accident, they made the same mistake *32* times.

Irene:
[after finding out Damian is the cheat and Don suspends him] One Week... You deserve to be *flogged*! How *dare* you do something so *stupid*!

Michael:
Irene, just hang on a second...

Irene:
Since *when* have you needed to *cheat*? You've got more brains in your head than the rest of the school put together! Now you just go and *blow* it! [Damian runs] No, you don't! [Irene tries to grab him but he gets away]

Jack:
[after the Lift restarts, causing Roxy to fall on top of Rob and the doors open in front of a crowd] Way to go, Rob! [crowd cheering and whistling] Alright!

Alf:
[about Matthew] I'll tell you what, Ailse. If he quotes the bible at me once more; I'll dig ours out from wherever and belt him over the noggin with it!

Jack:
[Selina finds out about Jack and Sonia] Selina... [pushes past Sonia]

Sonia:
Watch it!

Selina:
You pig! *punches Jack in the eye*

Sonia:
What do you think you're doing?

Selina:
Shut up before you cop the same! [walks off angrily, Jack holds his eye]

Alf:
[after Jack convinces Don to let him use the school to make a wooden stool for Pippa] He's got more hide than Jessie the Elephant, that boy

Don:
[Chuckles] Yes, Yes indeed.

Donald Fisher:
[to Shane dawdling on his way to class] Why don't you pretend that the soles of your shoes are my car tyres, that way you'll make it in record time!

Alf Stewart:
[to Shannon in the store] If you print one word or one lie in that tatty little magazine of yours, you'll be in more trouble than Flash Gordon now GET OUTTA HERE before I lose my temper properly... GET OUT! OUT! OUT!

Sally Fletcher:
[telling off Jack who's trying to make himself Taller] This Family's falling apart and all you're worried about is how tall you are!

Alf Stewart:
[Alf has returned from being overseas for three months] Stone the flamin' crows! What sorta welcome is this? Where's the Bugles? Where's the Drums?

Ailsa Stewart:
I think we might arrange a few fireworks!

Donald Fisher:
[to Students] Alright, alright Come on please don't dawdle into class...

Alf Stewart:
[walks into the school corridor and yells] Don?

Donald Fisher:
Alf, what can I do for you?

Alf Stewart:
I heard a pretty disturbing rumour, Don!

Donald Fisher:
Oh?

Alf Stewart:
That you took it upon yourself to dob young Curtis into the cops.

Donald Fisher:
I see

Alf Stewart:
Is it true?

Donald Fisher:
He broke the law.

Alf Stewart:
So it is true... You're my flamin' brother-in-law, Don! Couldn't you've talked to me about it first?

Donald Fisher:
Why? So you could talk me out of it?

Alf Stewart:
What about loyalty to mates? Or doesn't it mean anything to you?

Donald Fisher:
Ye... Loyalty doesn't come into it. I have a responsibility to... to try and instill some values and sense of responsibility into these students!

Alf Stewart:
At the expense of friendship?

Donald Fisher:
The boy is a criminal!

Alf Stewart:
HE MADE ONE MISTAKE, DON, *ONE*! Nobody was injured and there wasn't any damage to property.

Donald Fisher:
Yes and what about next time?

Alf Stewart:
[At the top of his voice] THERE WON'T BE A NEXT TIME!

Donald Fisher:
Alf! Face facts! The boy is on a downhill slide!

Alf Stewart:
[Losing his temper] AND SO WILL YOU BE IF YOU DON'T APOLOGISE TO HIM! [grabs Don]

Donald Fisher:
How dare you! let go of me!... Alf let go of me! [pushes Alf into lockers]

Curtis Reed:
Alf, leave it, Let's go! [Alf punches Don in the nose causing him to hit the floor]

Steven Matheson:
[Dodge has returned to the bay and Steven confronts him] Why did you come back?

Brian 'Dodge' Forbes:
You mean you really got no idea? Wouldn't you like to take a wild guess? A stab in the dark... mm?... I'm here to make you pay mate! What do you think about that! You owe me Stevo! I DID 5 YEARS BECAUSE OF YOU!

Steven Matheson:
Because of me? BECAUSE OF YOU Philip is dead!

Brian 'Dodge' Forbes:
[Mockingly] Oh BOO-HOO! Poor uncle Philip! Up in smoke. Just like mummy & daddy.

Steven Matheson:
[Enraged] You Callous B...

Brian 'Dodge' Forbes:
Now, Now, Stevo!... Mate! Just winding you up! You shouldn't take things so seriously! Besides... Philip was an accident. A mistake. Just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Steven Matheson:
That's bull... You knew damn well what you were doing.

Brian 'Dodge' Forbes:
Nah. It was a mistake. The only one I ever made. Apart from trusting you...

Steven Matheson:
Oh, You're off your HEAD!

Brian 'Dodge' Forbes:
Oh don't you remember Stevo? We were mates! Partners!

Steven Matheson:
We were never partners. You used me.

Brian 'Dodge' Forbes:
Oh don't try'n pretend you're innocent. We were in this together

Steven Matheson:
I was a stupid kid! Taggin' along. Covering for YOU.

Brian 'Dodge' Forbes:
Covering for me? What a crock! You had your chance and you let'em send me away!... Yeah!... At least I know where I stand. Makes my job just that much easier...

Steven Matheson:
What the hell do you want from me?

Brian 'Dodge' Forbes:
Satisfaction, mate. Believe me, I'm not going anywhere 'till I get it!

Pippa Ross:
[the Rosses are at war with Alf over the timeshare development] Typical Alf, [Imitates Alf] "Stone the flamin' crows!". [imitating Alf] He's talkin' through his flamin' hat, that's what I mean!

Michael Ross:
What do you mean by that?

Pippa Ross:
That he's talkin' through his flamin' hat, that's what I mean!"

Brian 'Dodge' Forbes:
[as they fight rolling around on the cliff] You feelin' lucky, Stevo? Wanna see if we can fly? [both fall off cliff]

Marilyn Chambers:
[Marilyn worries about Donald being on his own over the holiday] Here we are right in the middle of the festive season and there he'll be; in his office, alone, cold, slaving away under a single desk lamp, no one to talk to...

Alf Stewart:
Didn't you say Steven was going to be there too?

Marilyn Chambers:
Well, Yes. He'll still be cold; All hunched up, nothing but eye strain from all that work and responsibility, completely unable to loosen his hair and let his belt down!

[Alf and Irene give disparing looks]

Donald Fisher:
Marilyn, I am not the sort of man who hides Alcohol in the filing cabinet.

Marilyn Chambers:
Sorry.

Donald Fisher:
Try that desk; bottom left hand drawer.

Selina Roberts:
[Selina receives a phone call from Saul] Irene, It's him again.

Irene Roberts:
Right. [Takes receiver from her] Now get this into your thick head, Sicko. We don't wanna see ya, We don't wanna hear from ya. If you come near Selina one more time, I will do you such physical damage, You're gonna have more chance of giving birth to a baby than *fatherin'* one! [hangs up] That should sort him out.

Alf Stewart:
[to Zinc and Plugger] If brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow the wax out of your ears!

Alf Stewart:
[Alf lays into Jesse verbally about car theft] I heard about you you young HOON! We don't appreciate your type around here... stealing cars SNATCHIN' HANDBAGS! God knows what else...

Selina Roberts:
[interrupting] Mr Stewart...

Alf Stewart:
Stay out of it young lady! And as for you! You're a lot better off than to hang around with this sorta scum!

Casey Mitchell:
[to Joey, After Alf has a go at her for his dog attacking his family earlier] I'd rather watch a test pattern than hire a video from *him*!

Alf Stewart:
[to Joanne] If you were anymore transparent, I could see the town clock through you!

Dylan Parrish:
[as they are about to leave Summer Bay] Mummy, Do they have beaches in England?

Angel Parrish:
Of course there are, none like this one.

Dylan Parrish:
[waves happily] Bye Bye, Beach!

Alf Stewart:
[after arguing with Travis who quits and walks out] Yes, You go. You go and save the world single-handled, won't you? You long-haired greenie, left-wing yahoo! And you can join the dole-bludgers now as well!

Travis Nash:
All off then, Alf?

Alf Stewart:
Yeah, So I see.

Travis Nash:
Alf, what I was saying before about the squirrel blighters...

Alf Stewart:
I am not interested in the squirrel whatsits, I'm interested in human beings.

Travis Nash:
So am I. That's the whole point

Alf Stewart:
So what happens if a storm happens and a bloke's dinghy capsizes in the middle of the creek?

Travis Nash:
Yeah, I know all that...

Alf Stewart:
What, are you and your furry friends gonna build a raft, row out and rescue him?

Travis Nash:
Just take the long view here for a second; The future of the planet...

Alf Stewart:
Oh, Don't try to bamboozle me with that 'Future of the Planet' garbage; you just like hearing the sound of your own voice! [Kelly enters the Surf Club]

Travis Nash:
Alf, Listen to me...

Alf Stewart:
Mate, I'm sick of you moaning and groaning about the dreadful state the world's in. Looks alright to me; If you don't like it, why don't you go and find yourself another one?

Travis Nash:
It's not alright! We're destroying it!

Alf Stewart:
Oh, are we? Well, it looks fine to me!

Travis Nash:
[sighs] Ah, I give up.

Alf Stewart:
Yeah, you give up,eh?. It's about time you gave up moaning and groaning, You're not helping anybody.

Travis Nash:
Moaning and groaning?

Kelly Watson:
Travis, you and me were supposed to be at the hospital in half an hour.

Travis Nash:
Yeah, I know.

Alf Stewart:
Good, tell the doctor to give him a *brain transplant* while he's there!

Travis Nash:
Yeah, Suits me, Alf. So along as *you're* not the donor, mate! I'd rather be a greenie than a redneck.

Alf Stewart:
[incensed] Now you listen to me...

Travis Nash:
Yeah, I have been listening to you and I'm tired of your "she'll be right, mate!" rubbish!

Alf Stewart:
That's it, you're sacked!

Travis Nash:
You can't sack me, because I quit!

Alf Stewart:
[to Curtis, after catching him drinking after training] You Flamin' Galah!

[snatches beer can away]

Travis Nash:
Hey! Where are you going with that?

Alf Stewart:
What's it to you, Scruffy?

Dr. Phillip Matheson:
[Outlandish dream sequence, Philip confronts Gary on cliff] I warned you, dude, Summer Bay ain't big enough for the both of us. Now you're Seagull meat!

Gary Samuels:
We'll see who's Seagull meat... [They struggle and Phillip bests Gary and is shown throwing a mannequin by the legs into the water]

Gary Samuels:
Aaaah!

Dr. Phillip Matheson:
So long, you no-good, yellow-bellied son of a rattlesnake... [walks off]

Celia Stewart:
[Fade back to reality] Phillip, You're being ridiculous! And I wouldn't go to the police with silly stories like that!

Dr. Phillip Matheson:
But who knows what went on up on that clifftop; The police are gonna get around to questioning me sooner or later and you're quite right; I must be pretty well near the top of their suspect list...

Rebecca:
I've never seen a whale but I've heard them sing.

Alf:
Sing?

Rebecca:
Yeah, marine biologists record them singing.

Alf:
Yeah, how long were they in the Top 40?

Frances:
[On Donald] He's a humanitarian, isn't he?

Liam:
No.

Frances:
Oh.

Liam:
He's a reincarnated reptile that's still having trouble adapting to a warm-blooded body.

Scott:
A week?Come off it!

Donald:
Learn the value of silence, Irwin.Two weeks.

Celia Stewart:
[to Betty Falwell after Lance tells Celia he gave all of his money away to charity] God gave him a big heart, Pity he forgot about the brain.

Tom Nash:
[Travis helps Gypsy up after she falls during rollerblading and Tom jumps to conclusions, not knowing who Travis is] What are you, the local pervert or something?

Joel Nash:
I think you might find, kids, that this is your uncle.

Murray:
You understand me?

Alf:
I'll never understand you, pal.But I hear what you say.

Sally:
Are you and James getting married?

Chloe:
[sarcastically] No, me and Alf!

Meat Axe:
[In an argument with Martin over Leanne] If Brains was gunpowder, you wouldn't have enough to blow that poofy hairdo out of shape!

Philip Matheson:
[Celia wants to evict Stacey from the store flat for "Living in Sin" with Philip] You're in no position to do that, Celia. Stace was evicted from her own flat, I said she could stay here a while.

Celia Stewart:
Well, If that's the way you feel, you can move out too, Dr. Matheson. This is my establishment and I will not be a party to the degradation of the moral fibre of summer bay!

Stacey Macklin:
[Sarcastic] I doubt you'd be asked! [Phil and and Bobby laugh]

Celia Stewart:
I beg your pardon?

Stacey Macklin:
Oh, You're a Bigoted Stickybeak without a leg to stand on!

Bobby Morgan:
Yeah, Stacey! Hey Celia, We'll make a deal with you, We'll look after our morals and you can look after yours.

Celia Stewart:
That is *enough* out of you! Any more impertinence and you and Frank will be looking for new lodgings too.

Stacey Macklin:
You can't do that, they've got a lease!

Celia Stewart:
No, they haven't. What they do have is a verbal, informal arrangement.

Stacey Macklin:
Or better still; We'll stop paying rent, We'll become squatters. It'll take you at least six months to get us out!

Celia Stewart:
You can't bluff me, Stacey Macklin. I would like to see you live without gas, water and electricity for six *days* let alone six months! I shall *not* be intimidated. Somebody in this community has to uphold the moral fibre in Summer Bay. I want you *all* out by next week, and that's final.

Alf Stewart:
[after Kieran tries to get Sally to go back in the church] Which part of 'No' don't you understand, sport? - the 'N' or the 'O'?

Vinnie:
[to Sally] When was the last time you took any notice of anything I said?This is definitely not the time to be starting.

Shelley:
I think her voice is all right.

Rhys:
Er, that's because you're tone deaf as well.Which, come to think of it, is probably where she gets it from.

Alf:
Two points.One, we don't have a license for singing and dancing in this joint.And two, if we did I'd get Barbara Streisland.

Vinnie:
I, ah, just wanted to apologise.

Don:
Oh, really?Anything in particular?

Vinnie:
The V-Man never says die. Rack 'em up, I'm just gonna go and do a wee-wee.

Gypsy:
That was too much information.

Shauna:
Do you ever take no for an answer?

Gavin:
Depends on the question.

Alf:
A joint family picnic?Oh, fair go, Ailse.Why don't you just line us up against a wall and shoot us?

Alf Stewart:
[after Donald is given the wrong Olympic Torch] Don! Stop! It's the wrong Flamin' flame!

Vinnie Patterson:
[Alf is on the warpath, looking for Duncan] This is not going to do anyone any good.

Alf Stewart:
[Spies Duncan at a table with Jade] Get Up, You're Comin' home with me now!

Duncan Stewart:
No! I'm not going anywhere with you.

Alf Stewart:
Now you listen to me, Young fella. I've put up with a lot from you over the years but when you start pullin' the same sort of stunts on Shauna and people who've been good enough to look after ya, It's time to call a halt. I'm cancelling my trip and you're coming home with me *now*!

Duncan Stewart:
Yeah, Right! Like you can make me.

Alf Stewart:
Right! Get up! You're Gonna Feel the Leather of my belt!

[Alf takes off his belt, Duncan runs out of the surf club]

Alf Stewart:
COME BACK YOU LITTLE MONGREL!

Vinnie Patterson:
Just calm down!

[restrains Alf]

Alf Stewart:
Let me go, Vinnie!

Vinnie Patterson:
Calm Down, Okay?

[Alf relents and takes deep breaths]

Sergeant Bob Barnett:
[Morag's house has nearly been burned] Any Enemies, Anything like that?

Morag Bellingham:
A High Court Judge always has enemies, Sergeant. It goes with the Territory.

Sergeant Bob Barnett:
Well, with all these enemies running around, It mighn't have been a bad idea to keep updating your security systems, Don't you reckon? I mean, this is the second break-in here this week.

Morag Bellingham:
[peeved] Well, with two break-ins in one week, Don't you think it might be an idea to find out who's responsible, don't you reckon?

[gets up]

Morag Bellingham:
I'm gonna pack a bag. I refuse to move into a hotel and give the local inbreds something else to gossip about. Oh, and just for the record, sergeant, my enemies aren't *running around* They're in jail, that's why they *are* my enemies!

Frank Morgan:
[Lance has brought Marilyn to Summer Bay to meet his friends] Hi. How are you liking Summer Bay?

Marilyn Chambers:
Oh, I love it! I love being by the sea, not like the city with all that pollution and carbon peroixide and all that. And the smell of the air, it's so clean, it's really good for you.

[turns to Lance]

Marilyn Chambers:
It's invigorscating - Don't you reckon?

Lance Smart:
Yeah, Yeah.

Jade:
Mum, how can you not celebrate nineteen years?

Shelley:
Oh, that's okay, sweetheart, I'm very happy with a quiet dinner at home and with things the way they are at the Drop-In Centre it's really all I have the energy for.

Jade:
What about romance?

[Dani and Brodie enter]

Jade:
Mum and Dad reckon they're not gonna do anything special for their wedding anniversary.

Dani:
What about romance?

Rhys:
Is there an echo in here?

Dani:
That's it, I'm writing a list.

Rhys:
What for?

Dani:
Suggestions on what you can buy Mum.

Jade:
Definitely no kitchen appliances.

Dani:
Or perfume or towels or those whirly soapy things.

Rhys:
Why not?

Jade:
Well cos they're a bit impersonal.

Brodie:
Yeah, it's an insult.

Rhys:
[to Shelley] Is it?All those years you've never said a thing?

Brodie:
Can't me and Alex just be like Dani and Will or your mum and your dad?

Jade:
Cos they're revolting!

Jude:
So let me get this straight.You asked her out to nowhere in particular at some unspecified time in the future and she said yes?

Seb:
Don't be an idiot.

Kirsty:
Don't call me an idiot-that's twice in one day.

Seb:
Well, you have been! You know you ca't tell me who I can and can't hang out with. Simone's all right.

Kirsty:
Yes, I know she's all right!

Seb:
Do you?

Kirsty:
Yes!

Seb:
Then what are we arguing about?

Kirsty:
I don't know.

Seb:
Well then can we stop?

Andrew Foley:
[Andrew drunkenly stumbles into the Macklin Corporation's cocktail party] Hi, Pippa!

Pippa Fletcher:
Andrew, you are blind drunk! What happened to your meeting?

Andrew Foley:
Meeting? I'm not going to any meeting.

[whispers]

Andrew Foley:
I'm looking for miss "Lemon Lips"!

Pippa Fletcher:
I think you better get going.

Andrew Foley:
[Snorts then shouts] Miss Lemon Lips 1948, where are you?

Pippa Fletcher:
Andrew...

Andrew Foley:
[points to Celia] Ah, there you are! Miss Lemon Lips, the eyes and the ears of the world! How about a kiss?

[grabs her]

Celia Stewart:
Oh! How dare you! Get away from me, you drunken fool!

[pushes him away]

Andrew Foley:
Are you implying that I have had one too many?

Celia Stewart:
Oh, someone! Call the police!

Andrew Foley:
Ah, that's going a bit too far. How about a dance then, Miss Lemon Lips?

[grabs Celia again and dances with her]

Celia Stewart:
Stop it! Stop it at once!

Andrew Foley:
One, Two, Three! One, Two, Three!

Celia Stewart:
You're finished in this town, Andrew Foley. Now get away from me or I'll have you charged with assault!

[pushes Andrew against a wall causing him to hit his head]

Andrew Foley:
I don't think you should have done that, Celia...

[collapses to the floor]

Noah Lawson:
It's Leah. She's gone into labour.

Irene Roberts:
What?

Alf Stewart:
Hogan's Ghost!

Frank Morgan:
[trying to stall Bedford while Martin is running late] Can I get you any more Coffee, Mr. Bedford?

Peter Bedford:
If I have any *more* Coffee, I'll start levitating!

Jay Everitt:
[Roo is late to the office] You're strolling in just in time for Morning tea; That kind of behaviour is a no-go zone. It's not the colour of the balloon that makes it go up, it's what's *inside*

Martin Dibble:
Wow!

Jay Everitt:
You [to Martin] What I'm saying to you is Winners never quit!and [to Roo] Quitters never Win! So bud, I want you to go through the moves with Sue; Show her the warmup routine we just did and hey, raise the roof. How about it?

Martin Dibble:
You bet!

Jay Everitt:
[to Roo] You look a bit hesitant, How about I start you off; "I'm alive, I'm firing, I feel fantastic!" Come on, Sue, Don't be shy.

Roo Stewart:
[downbeat] I'm alive, I'm firing, I feel fantastic.

Jay Everitt:
I'll be in the Back office, Raise that roof, team.

Martin Dibble:
[trying to motivate Roo] I'm alive, I'm firing, I feel fantastic!

Roo Stewart:
I'm alive, I'm firing, I feel fantastic... No, I don't, I feel horrible!

Jay Everitt:
[off-screen] I can't hear you!

Alf Stewart:
[after Celia tells him Ailsa and baby Duncan are at Morag's] Alright, Open up the flamin' thing before I kick it down!

Marilyn Chambers:
[answers the door] Patience is a virtue, you know!

[Alf walks in]

Marilyn Chambers:
You can't just come barging in like that...

Alf Stewart:
Just tell Ailsa to get down here with the baby.

Morag Bellingham:
Alright, Marilyn. I'll deal with this.

Alf Stewart:
Like you've already been "dealing" with it, Morag, In your own Conniving little way. A bloke can't turn his back on you for two seconds; can he?

Morag Bellingham:
Well, it so happens you have your facts *wrong*, Alfred. Ailsa came to *me* and not the other way around and if you would stop shouting like a madman and listen for a minute...

Alf Stewart:
I've done all the listening I'm ever gonna do, Morag, and I wanna see my son and I wanna see him *now*!

Max Sutherland:
[after being knocked out by Henry in a Boxing Match at School] Did I win?

Henry:
Maddie, do you know why people take an instant dislike to you?

Matilda:
No.

Henry:
It saves time.

Dani:
[to Noah] Okay, you didn't say you were getting her an engagement ring but that's what you were saying, right?

Scott:
Even for you, that makes no sense.

Danny Farnsworth:
[Morag receives a threatening answering machine message] You're gonna get yours, Judge. You know something? It'll be when you least expect it. So I'd be on my guard if I were you. You're a dead woman, *b*tch*!

Colleen Smart:
[to "Australian Idol" finalist Paulini] I voted for you, Paulini, and so did Lancey! You're not a loser to us!

Alf:
I'd like a quid for every time I've tried to do the right thing and made a mess of it.

Morag:
Yeah, you'd have a very large pile of outdated currency.

Alf Stewart:
If you ever speak to my granddaughter again like the way you did before, I'll be all over you like a cheap suit!

Jesse McGregor:
Is that a fact?

Alf Stewart:
You'd better flamin' believe it!

Peter Baker:
Excuse me, sorry to interrupt.

Alf Stewart:
[to Jesse] What have you done now?

Jesse McGregor:
Keep out of it!

Colleen Smart:
[about Jesse] Oh, and I wouldn't put it past him to have thrown that Mongolian cocktail as well!

Leah Patterson:
Yeah, well the police have cleared him of throwing that *molitov* cocktail.

Colleen Smart:
[about the now-homeless Jesse] You know what they say - he's made his bed, and now he'll have to lay under it... or under a bridge! That's what they say about those hobos, isn't it?

Graham Walters:
[after marrying Amanda] A bottle of your finest bubbly, please!

Alf Stewart:
Oh, got something to celebrate, do you?

Graham Walters:
Yes, we do. Everybody, I'd like to introduce Mrs. Amanda Walters.

[Alf, Irene and Colleen stare in shock]

Graham Walters:
We just couldn't wait to share our love for each other.

Alf Stewart:
Well... Let me be the first to congratulate you.

Irene Roberts:
[nods slowly] Yeah, that's... wow.

Graham Walters:
Colleen?

[Colleen simply stares, then downs the rest of her drink]

Colleen Smart:
Wait until Madge Wilkins hears about this!

[storms out]

Tony:
Is everyone all right?

Lucas:
Yeah, Dad, I'm fine.

Martha:
Define "all right".

Kim Hyde:
Hey Rob, you're funny.

Robbie Hunter:
Thanks, man

Kim Hyde:
Funny to look at

Flynn:
If only there were some things you could put off till tomorrow.

Flynn:
[voice over] It's only now that it's over that I understand what life is really all about. It's about following your heart, against the odds, no matter the repercussions. It's about learning to trust again, even when those around us are still hiding secrets. It's about taking a chance, it's about searching for answers, even when we're afraid of what we'll find. And believing in a future. But, most of all, it's about love because, when all is said and done, love is the one thing that never really dies.

Amanda Vale:
Why don't you just keep your nose out of it, you little insect?

Belle Taylor:
[holds up milkshakes] Why don't you get out of here before you end up wearing these?

Celia Stewart:
Excuse me, Emma. I would like a word with you, please.

Emma Jackson:
What about?

Celia Stewart:
I have always prided myself on respect for the truth; and I take *exception* to others who take advantage of this. You tricked me, You really tricked me into telling you Ailsa killed her father, didn't you? [sees a smile on Emma's face] Now this is no laughing matter, young lady

Emma Jackson:
Wel,, what's wrong with me knowing? It *is* my family.

Celia Stewart:
Yes it is your family, but you are very young and very impressionable.

Emma Jackson:
Come off it; You're treating me like I'm a kid again.

Celia Stewart:
And rightly so. The details of Ailsa's crime are really quite sordid enough without...

Emma Jackson:
What do you mean by "sordid"?

Celia Stewart:
Well, you don't think we condone waht Ailsa did?

Emma Jackson:
[angry] She was trying to protect herself? What's wrong with that?

Celia Stewart:
You don't go around murdering people, no matter *what* they've done!

Emma Jackson:
Well, who cares what you think? Ailsa's a hundred times better than you'll ever be! So you can shove your opinions right up your cash register! [runs out of store]

Celia Stewart:
Emma! [runs after her] How dare you! You little vandal! Come back here immediately!

Colleen Smart:
When Leah gets the invitation to lunch with Dan. Come on Leah, Don't keep us in suspenders

Donald Fisher:
[Fisher enters class dressed as a punk after learning of a student mutiny] Oh, Don't mind me; Let's get down and get right back up again, shall we?

Alf Stewart:
I'm off, like a bucket of prawns in the sun.

Donald Fisher:
[after Morag has exposed Danny for who he really is, much to Bobby's distress] You are without doubt, the most despicable, vindictive, *venomous* woman I have ever had the misfortune to meet!

Morag Bellingham:
[cool] Flattery will get you everywhere.

Colleen:
I told you it was only a matter of time!I knew this was coming!

Irene:
Don't tell me the coffee machine's on the blink again...

Tony:
Where do you want this then?

Colleen:
Oh, er, put them down anywhere and I'll tell you if it's right.

Amanda:
So whose car should we take?

Dan:
Oh, well, mine, I'm... I'm illegally parked anyway.

Drew:
How's your arm?

Belle:
It still hurts from where I broke it last year.

Ric:
[about to follow Kit to the maternity ward] Hey, do you reckon we'll be allowed to watch?

Leah:
Rach, you didn't just scratch the car. You slept with another man.

Marilyn Chambers:
Lance Smart, You're a Gentleman and a Scallop!

Adam Cameron:
[Adam is trying to catch a killer shark] [to Steven] Should have known you'd shoot your big mouth off.

Andrew Foley:
Yeah, well it's just as well somebody did! Now what the hell do you think you're playing at?

Adam Cameron:
It's called fishing!

Andrew Foley:
It's called *idiocy*! You don't know the first thing about sharks!

Alf Stewart:
[Martin knocks at the store and Alf points to the sign which is reverse] Can't you read?

Martin Dibble:
Hey, mate. Just passin' through, sort of see if you've got a telly in your shop, That's all.

Alf Stewart:
No we haven't, So if you don't mind...

[widens door for him to leave]

Martin Dibble:
Oh, Pity.

[Sees Tom]

Martin Dibble:
G'day, mate. Shouldn't you be having your family meeting?

Tom Fletcher:
What the hell do you know about that?

Martin Dibble:
Uh, I always keep me ears to the ground.

Tom Fletcher:
Strewth;

[sarcastically]

Tom Fletcher:
Doesn't take long for the good news to start spreading, does it?

Alf Stewart:
Look, Martin. Tom and I are just having a quiet beer so if you don't mind...

Martin Dibble:
Fine by me. How about we mosey on over to your place, there's a great wrestling match on. Big Bad Bruno and Ugly Arthur are gonna make Paper Mache of each other.

Alf Stewart:
I'll make Paper Mache outta *you* if you don't get outta here. Now, go eh?

Martin Dibble:
Okay, I can take a hint!

[leaves]

Alf:
Do us a favour, will you?Call me Alf, just this once.

Sally:
You'll always be Mr.Stewart to me, Alf.

Matilda:
You know that's a bit sad, right?

Miles:
Yeah.

Ric:
[wandering in] What's sad? Apart from Bambi.

Jazz:
I've been to a dive or two in my time. Although why I'm sounding so proud about that I don't know.

Jazz Curtis:
I'm a woman. I can multitask.

Nicole Franklin:
So you, um, broke up with the girlfriend- what's her name?

Roman Harris:
Martha.

Nicole Franklin:
So you finished with her and kept her old aunt around? Bet you're having some serious buyer's remorse about that one.

Morag Bellingham:
[Has heard everything and is clearly annoyed] I'm sure some people may find you charming but I'm not one of them so I am only going to say this once; You presume that tone again with me and I will kick your spoiled, gucci-clad little backside from here unto the other end of Summer Bay. And If your Father has a problem with that, I will kick *His* backside for letting you get away with being a rude, thoughtless little brat! You got that?

Nicole Franklin:
You, I like. We're gonna get along just fine. So my room's the one at the top of the stairs, right?

Martha Mackenzie:
Nice to see my opinion makes a difference.

Jack Holden:
You *always* make a difference.

Nicole Franklin:
So, you wanna do it? [Aden looks at her] I mean, go down stairs.

Aden Jefferies:
It's a long story.

Nicole Franklin:
So talk fast.

Jazz:
[after walking in on Jack and Martha] I think it's great that you're... unwinding. Wish I had someone to unwind with myself.

Colleen:
I'm not a mind reader.

Irene:
No, you're not. You'd need a mind to be one of them.

Alf:
So, are you, um, coming to the Anzac service?

Miles:
I'd love to. I've only been once before. By accident.

Miles:
[after Ric and Matilda storm out] Well, it's good to know I can still clear out a room.

Aden:
[after Belle has given him directions on washing dishes] Well maybe you should run me through it one more time.

Belle:
You know with anyone else I'd actually think that was a joke.

Irene:
Since when has Annie been so chummy with Nicole?

Geoff:
Er, since Nicole turned up on the doorstep with a bag full of clothes.

Aden Jefferies:
Belle, let me know if you need my photo for your personal collection

Belle Taylor:
Why? So I can throw darts at it?

Alf:
To be fair, I asked her what the problem was.

Morag:
And to be fair, I could still throttle her.

Miles:
We are talking about Othello, which is about infidelity and murder. Apparently safer ground.

Jack Holden:
[To Martha] You're my priority.

Colleen:
All I'm asking for is a moment of your time.

Morag:
That's a moment I'll never get back.

Ric Dalby:
[Belle's phone rings in the middle of Jack and Martha's engagement party] [Ric screams] Johnny Depp calling you there!

Matilda Hunter:
Who do you have your eye on?

Belle Taylor:
Johnny Depp.

Ric Dalby:
He was just here.

Belle Taylor:
Oh, Damn!

Roman:
I've still got work to do for tonight. You can help if you like.

Nicole:
Sad thing is that is the best offer that I've had today.

Roman:
You're right, that is pretty sad.

Ric Dalby:
Relax? Am I being a pain?

Matilda Hunter:
I'm used to it.

Martha:
How many of my problems have I told you? Surely you owe me one.

Morag:
Oh, advice first, thought second. Well that fills me with confidence.

Jack Holden:
What's the story on the new recruit?

Ken:
Usual drill. Half my age, double my qualifications, wears a skirt.

Charlie Buckton:
It's called equal opportunity.

Jack Holden:
Except that some opportunity's more equal than others.

Morag Bellingham:
I have put away criminals with more scruples than those wretched real estate agents.

Roman:
[to Charlie] Is it, er, just me specifically or are you constantly in a bad mood?

Ruby:
Why do I have to be born into a family of cops? Why couldn't you be...hairdressers?

Miles:
I assume you were helping Geoff here with his punctuation but if I see you out of your seat again you'll have to write out "Mr.Copeland is awesome" fifty times.

Jai:
Ever seen those movies where they tell the passenger how to land the plane over the radio?

Kirsty:
Yeah but landing a plane sounds a lot easier to me.

Jai:
Look, can we not make a big deal about it, please?

Miles:
Well I think that's gonna be a problem considering how Annie's already planned your party.

Ric:
[after Daisy enthusiastically greets him] Do I know you?

Jai:
Can we not do the whole Happy Birthday thing with the singing? I've heard Kirsty sing, and no offence, I don't think I need that today.

Angelo Rosetta:
You know, you haven't tasted real coffee until you've had it in my kitchen.

Kirsty:
[Miles finds out about Bartlett cracking onto Kirsty] What would you have done? Would you have challenged him to a duel?

Miles:
Probably!

Carly Morris:
[seeing Lance and Sally training Sally's jumping frog] Tom, Why do you let her have that disgusting creature in the house?

Tom Fletcher:
Oh, Don't be like that, Carly, Lance is welcome in here any time!

Lance Smart:
[sarcastically] Thanks a lot, Mr. F!

Carly Morris:
[after she catches her hair in Sally's fly paper] Just get it out, Tom; It's revolting!

Tom Fletcher:
There's only one thing for it, I'll have to cut it.

Carly Morris:
I don't care, just do it!

Tom Fletcher:
[to Grant] Pass me the scissors.

Lance Smart:
Is there anything we can do?

Carly Morris:
Yeah, you can just get that reptile out of here!

Sally Fletcher:
[pets her frog] It's not a reptile, she's an *amphibian*!

Carly Morris:
I don't really care what it is, Sal. If you hadn't been feeding it flies, this wouldn't have happened, would it?

Tom Fletcher:
Keep still.

Carly Morris:
Ow! Tom! Be Careful!

Tom Fletcher:
Sorry.

[jokingly]

Tom Fletcher:
I won't cut off too much, Madam, I promise!

Lance Smart:
I tell you what, If you frizz it up, no-one can tell it's been hacked!

Carly Morris:
Shut up, Lance. I'll frizz *you* up in a minute!

Martha:
[On which wire to cut] It's obviously the black ones.

Morag:
Oh god.If I'm turning into Colleen, just shoot me now.

Hugo:
I might have a little surprise on the boil.You never know.

Martha:
Ooh, what surprise?

Hugo:
Er, do you need me to define the word surprise for you?

John:
Are you being funny?

Romeo:
By the look on your face, I would say no.

Robertson:
Let the record show that rolling one's eyes is the lowest form of sarcasm, even for a lawyer.

Miles:
Mmm, burnt steak. Alf must be cooking.

Angelo:
Alf.I've ruined everything between us.

Alf:
Don't worry, mate.I'll forgive ya.

Lance Smart:
[Lance comes home to find Martin packing] Marty?

Martin Dibble:
Jeez, Lance. You don't have to sneak up on me!

Lance Smart:
You're back! What're you doing?

Martin Dibble:
Well you see this thing, It's called a *suitcase* and this is my gear. You put the gear into the suitcase and you close it up. It's called *packing*.

Lance Smart:
But, Why man?

Martin Dibble:
I don't know, that's just what they call it, eh.

Angelo:
I'll get Charlie to help me with the first few patrols.

Miles:
Oh terrific.Just the two cops but they're gonna be fighting all the time.

Leah:
I can see how he sees it as a bit of a wall.

Miles:
Good.

Leah:
But on the other hand, walls are there to be climbed, right?

Miles:
Mmm.Technically, walls are there to keep people in and out.

Alf:
Miles, you know I can't serve alcohol in here until after four o'clock.

Miles:
That's a good rule. Now break it.

Miles:
[reading the paper] Jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs. Where to begin?

Rabbit:
Um... maybe the employment section instead of Garfield.

Alf:
Mate, I know I'm a barman but do you really think I need to hear all this?

Elijah:
You know, I can't help wondering if God made me drop that ring just to teach me a lesson in humility.

Miles:
I'm sure He's been plotting against you for months.

[Alf's crab "Claws" has been stolen]

Alf Stewart:
Can you believe it? Oh, I should have known, I should have known! He was sittin' there on his own like that, a prime target! I didn't think anybody'd stoop so low!

Celia Stewart:
What on Earth's happened? What are you going on about, Alfred?

Alf Stewart:
Claws!

Celia Stewart:
Santa Claus?

Alf Stewart:
Oh, don't be so stupid, Celia! Claws the crab! Someone's stolen him!

Celia Stewart:
Oh, don't be ridiculous, Alfred. Why would anyone want to steal a crab?

Alf Stewart:
Because this isn't just *any* crab. As I told you before, this is the biggest crab in Summer Bay! And That's not the worst of it either; The flamin' outboard motor packed up and I had to row all the way back. I'm gonna be stiff as a board tomorrow!

Colleen:
[to Marilyn] I've been serving beverages in the Diner for more years than you've been 29 and I can assure you I never make...

Miles:
[to Leah and Elijah] I mean, you've got so much in common.You both love Brazillian jujitsu.You love me. What more can I say?

John:
And what is it you think we have?

Jill:
Chemistry.

John:
Yeah, like the kind that levelled Hiroshima.

Alf:
[to Marilyn] Oh, stone the crows, you make me so angry it's... it's almost like we are married.

Donald Fisher:
Sophie. Maybe you could just refresh our memories and read the Elliot passage for us again.

Sophie Simpson:
[pretending to be hoarse] Oh, I can't, sir.

Donald Fisher:
Oh? And why not, may I ask?

Sophie Simpson:
Sore throat from last night.

Donald Fisher:
What?

Sophie Simpson:
You know, from throwing up.

Donald Fisher:
Oh, yes, all right, Sophie, all right. Spare me the details. [bell rings] I suppose we'll have the privilege of hearing your dulcit tones one of these days.

Tony:
I mean, what's the... what's the middle ground between Boston and here?

Miles:
The Pacific Ocean.

Miles:
[Trying to attract attention at the Diner] Hello! I'm eating everything!

VJ:
Yeah, you're the best, Miles.Way better than Elijah.

Miles:
Can you grab some cutlery and some plates, please, Veej? [to Leah] He didn't mean that.I mean, it's true but he didn't mean it.

Grant Mitchell:
[Alf is having a rotten time at golf and Emma is a clumsy caddy] Thought you said your handicap was 18?

Alf Stewart:
Yeah, it used to be. Now it's *Emma*!

John:
There's going to be cameras there and we don't want to look like idiots.It's bad enough looking like hippies.

Alf:
She's gonna want to kick someone, mate, and Elijah's the other side of the flaming Indian Ocean.So who's she gonna kick?You.

Miles:
Okay, how about this?She could kick VJ.

Miles:
[to Colleen] I didn't know you were against bottled water.Or are you just protesting against the protestors?

Xavier:
You are so gonna get the job.

April:
Why?Because I'm awesome?

Xavier:
No, because I suck.

Liam:
There's too many women in my life.

Romeo:
Well, as far as problems go, that's a pretty good one to have, isn't it?

Liam:
There's just one and that's still too many.

Bianca:
[to April] Just shut up and go save a whale.

Alf:
[on Penn] He's got more than a couple of bricks missing from his retaining wall.

Penn:
I have a special gift for knowing that trouble's on its way.

Ruby:
Yeah, because it usually arrives with you.

Sid:
Oh, Miles, that's just crazy.

Miles:
Excuse me, I resemble that remark.

Gina:
Honestly, John, you're as bad as them.

John:
Ah, actually, I think I'm a little worse.

Xavier:
I'm starting to realise you can be kind of okay.

John:
Thanks.

Xavier:
Well, sometimes.

John:
Still thanks.

Romeo:
[to Indigo] I was comparing you to apples or oranges when what I should have been doing was just enjoying what we have now.

Dexter:
You lost me at "apples".

Alf:
Oh-and if you want to talk to someone about this...

Marilyn:
I know where to find Nicole?

Marilyn:
Mitzy says that Penn Graham has a sickly aura, which means he's a very negative person or he doesn't eat any vegetables.

Alf Stewart:
[after Marilyn has given a customer $100 in change] I don't believe it... You're a pea-brain!

Marilyn Chambers:
Well He still might come back, Mighn't he?

Alf Stewart:
[Sarcastically] Yeah, and pigs might fly! Of course he won't come back!

Marilyn Chambers:
Well, he said he was from across the road!

Alf Stewart:
Yeah and probably said his name was *Bill Smith*!

Marilyn Chambers:
No, he said his name was David but he didn't tell me his surname. He said he knew you

Alf Stewart:
Of course he did! It's the oldest trick in the book!

Marilyn Chambers:
He didn't give me time to think! He said his customer was in a hurry

Alf Stewart:
Marilyn, If he gave you Ten years to think, it wouldn't make any difference! If you had a brain, it'd be lonely. Now get out of my shop before you ruin my business completely!

Marilyn Chambers:
But... you mean go home, now?

Alf Stewart:
I don't care *where* you go; You're fired. Understand? F-I-R-E-D!

Dexter:
I'm dumber than a box of dumb things that you can only buy at a supermarket full of dumb.

Penn Graham:
[Penn arrives at Angelo's to cause trouble and sees Alf give Will the keys to the bait shop] Well, isn't this cosy?

[Everyone turns to look]

Penn Graham:
Alf Stewart, The saint of Summer Bay! Helping the poor and fallen, yet again.

Alf Stewart:
Why don't you just turn around and go back out that door?

Penn Graham:
Haven't We heard this before, Alfie? What makes you think I'll listen any more than I did those other times?

[Angelo blocks his way as he advances towards Alf]

Penn Graham:
Thought so.

[to the others]

Penn Graham:
You're all weak. Pathetic and Weak.

[Holds his head]

Sid Walker:
I think you might have concussion, Penn. Why don't you let me take a look at you.

Penn Graham:
You think I'm gonna let *you* anywhere near me? For all I know, you're with him

[points to Angelo]

Sid Walker:
You know who earned the money for this place...

Angelo Rosetta:
Yeah, they all know. I've got nothing to hide.

Penn Graham:
Look at this... joint. I can kiss the money goodbye. Like I said, Alf Stewart and his *loser* mates.

Alf Stewart:
If It's a fight you want, Pal, You've just got yourself one!

[loses temper]

Alf Stewart:
I'll flamin' *Kill* ya, You moron!

[Will and Sid try to restrain Alf]

Alf Stewart:
.

Penn Graham:
[mockingly] Mr Stewart, please no!

Angelo Rosetta:
That's ENOUGH! This is still my place. Now get out of here before I call the cops!

Penn Graham:
You and me, Alfie. You and Me.

[turns and walks away]

Xavier:
I'm confused.

John:
Well, what's unusual about that? You're a teenager, aren't you?

Dexter:
"Dex, you have the right to remain silent."

Indigo:
You should probably listen to that advice.

Robertson:
Look at the golden sand, rollicking waves-it's almost perfect.

Graves:
Why do people keep getting killed here then?

Liam:
For a second there, mate, I thought you were an all right fella but you gotta be one of the biggest tools I've ever met.And I've worked in the music industry.

Xavier:
I figured that might be the case.

Gina:
You did?

Xavier:
Well, April did and she told me.

VJ:
Elijah always said to turn the other cheek when kids are mean.

Dexter:
Yes, that works when you're built like Elijah. But when you're built like me and you, you learn to run fast.

April:
[giving Liam and Bianca some privacy] I'll be back in half an hour.That should be long enough.

Ruby:
You can't give up that easily!

Dexter:
You obviously don't know me that well.

Romeo:
I slept with Ruby.

Liam:
Beats my news.

Roo:
I'm not gonna give you any advice, I would mess that up.

John:
Age before beauty, mate.And fortunately I've got plenty of both.

Dexter:
But I can't do that when she doesn't return my calls!Or texts, instant messages, Skypes, Facebook pokes...

Indigo:
Okay, that's not apologising, that's just stalking.

Dexter:
[over baby monitor] Indi.This is God.I want you to lead the Israelites out of Egypt into the promised land.

Leah Patterson-Baker:
Yeah, you're right, maybe she does need to go out there and have some... fun

Ruby Buckton:
You think Charlie needs to get some action, don't you?

Leah Patterson-Baker:
I said fun!

Ruby Buckton:
No, but it's true! I mean think about it, her love life's been pretty much non-existent since Angelo, I mean, Colleen's getting more than she is!

Ruby Buckton:
Okay, well then why don't we think about someone outside the confines of the Summer Bay Diner, let's go crazy, what about the Surf Club?

John:
[to Casey] Haven't you got a parole officer to go and visit?

Gina:
Is this a surf carnival or are we invading New Zealand?

Leah:
And what have I told you about knocking?

VJ:
There's no door.

Romeo:
You just need to find a responsible chaperone. What about Mrs.Smart and Keith?

Xavier:
I could do that... but they might say yes.

Bianca:
[to Heath] This is the longest period of time I've seen you wearing a shirt.

Ernie Jacobs:
[after Adam's flea bomb nearly kills him; Jacobs comes to the store to rant] I'll have *all* of you for this! I'm charging you with conspiracy to damage property! Arson, Possesion of illegal... Explosives and attempted assault with a deadly weapon!

Marilyn Chambers:
What are you talking about?

Ernie Jacobs:
I'm talking about that *bomb* you left in my house! And don't try to deny it; [displays bandaged wrist] I've got the scars to prove it!

Matt Wilson:
He must mean the flea bomb.

Ernie Jacobs:
[Puts a coin on the counter] Here, Give me some change for the phone.

Marilyn Chambers:
[worriedly gets the change] You're not gonna call the police, are you?

Ernie Jacobs:
Damn right, I am! And Don't try to stop me; 'cause if you do I'll have you charged with attempting to pervert the course of Justice!

Marilyn Chambers:
[Indignant] How *dare* you call us perverts!

Matt Wilson:
Stay out of it, Marilyn.

Marilyn Chambers:
Well, I'm not having him ruin my reputation!

Ernie Jacobs:
You'll have more than your reputation to worry about when it gets out you tried to burn down my house!

Matt Wilson:
You've got it all wrong, Mr. Jacobs. We were just using one of these [shows flea repllant can to Jacobs] to get rid of the fleas.

Ernie Jacobs:
*What* fleas?

Marilyn Chambers:
Ah, well... The fleas that Adam brought home in the sea grass mat.

Ernie Jacobs:
And that's another thing. If you think you can destroy good lino and replace it with garbage; you've got another thing coming!

Marilyn Chambers:
We couldn't afford anything else!

Ernie Jacobs:
Well, get a loan!

Matt Wilson:
Come on...

Ernie Jacobs:
[cuts Matt off] You also owe me for replacing that broken window!

Matt Wilson:
What broken window?

Ernie Jacobs:
And if the workmanship isn't carried out to my sastisfaction, I'll be serving you with an eviction notice?

Matt Wilson:
What for?

Ernie Jacobs:
*Vandalism!* Mob of delinquents; should be locked up, the lot of ya!

Casey:
I ran into a door last night.

Miles:
Can you think of anything you might have said to upset that door?

Romeo:
[after the boat stalls a few yards out of harbour] This looks like a nice spot here, what do you reckon?

John:
You will, because you're his mother and that's your job-to worry and make sacrifices and not have any fun.

Brax:
He's family.Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em.

Morag:
Well, not without careful planning, anyway.

Leah:
Can you just take VJ home, please?

Miles:
No, we're bored.

Liam:
Yeah, it's dangerous to chop and pretend you're not worried at the same time, it's how you lose a finger.

Miles:
Let's go for a walk.

VJ:
Where do we go?

Miles:
I'll just keep on walking until we find something interesting.

Alf:
[to Marilyn] Well, maybe you should cast your net a little wider. Ever thought about pets?

Charlie:
Want to tell us what happened?

Hammer:
I fell over.

Watson:
What, like fifteen times?

Alf:
The bigger they are...

Roo:
The harder they fall.

Alf:
...the harder you hit 'em.

Colleen:
I hope you're not the tearaway you used to be.

Gypsy:
No, totally reformed.What about you, have you given up gossiping?

Alf:
Why is it so difficult for young people to think about the next generation?

Dex Walker:
Because we're too busy revising.

Liam:
You know, when life gets a little tough it's very easy for me to fall off the wagon again. And... and they say that I should call a friend.

Gypsy:
And I'm that friend. And that's how rumors start.

Gypsy:
[to Colleen] Haven't you heard of knocking?

Colleen:
I don't like interfering in domestic squabbles.

Miles:
Oh, yeah, right, since when?

Dexter:
[leaving a phone message for Sasha] Dad just got home and you're not here, again, which means I'm about to die!

Dexter:
[Listening to Sasha on the phone to Stu] Dad, can you give me an anti-nausea shot?

Sid:
Ah, no, but I'm sure there's a bucket in the laundry you can use.

Indi:
I thought you were getting ready.

Sid:
I am ready.

Indi:
But you look like a gardener.

Sasha:
I will remember this when you are old and penniless and asking me for phone credit.

Sid:
Wouldn't matter.Probably, by then, I won't have any friends to call.

Charlie:
I'm jogging along and there's Brax and his lawyer frolicking on the beach.And I just put salt in my coffee.

Sasha:
Why are you yelling at me?

Xavier:
Uh, because you're here and my car isn't!

Dexter:
Welcome to Summer Bay.Not a dark cloud in sight.

April:
[Needing someone to drive Xavier's car] What about Heath?He's over twenty-one.

Xavier:
Yeah, I think I'd rather let VJ drive.

John:
I finally feel like I can speak my mind.

Alf:
And you've always had such a problem with that too.

April:
So, you were so desperate to warn Heath to stay away from me, you nearly missed your own wedding.

Bianca:
Yeah, that sounds pretty stupid when you say it out loud.

Tyler:
He said I breathed too loud.

Heath:
I can help you stop that.

April:
I was trying to be positive but she's so moody now that she's pregnant.

Heath:
And that's different from normal how?

Lottie:
[to April] And he cancelled our lunch so you must be a very good friend.High maintenance maybe but I'm sure he doesn't mind.

Lottie:
I actually prefer my own company to most people's.

Irene:
April, you're already not talking to each other.What is the worst that can happen?

April:
She'll leave town and I'll never see her or the baby?

Alf Stewart:
[Alf rehires Marilyn] I don't want any slacking, Marilyn. As far as I'm concerned, you're back here on a week's probation.

Marilyn Chambers:
Right, Mr. Stewart. Whatever you say.

Alf Stewart:
And *definitely* no credit for Matthew and Adam; I don't care if they *are* your flatmates, I'm not givin' 'em a brass Razoo.

Marilyn Chambers:
Right, no Razoos. [Alf rolls his eyes and shakes his head]

Lindsay:
Interesting fact, just putting it out there:My dad normally gives me some cash before I go shopping.

Sid:
Does he?You'd better give me his phone number, I'll call him and set him straight.

Marilyn:
[after learning of Colleen's unhappiness over Lance moving to America] She even said that she wished I'd married Lance rather than Debbie.She *must* be upset.

Dexter:
What do you want from me, evil half-sibling?

Lottie:
Sasha, you're a genius!

Sasha:
I am?

Lottie:
Well, obviously not an actual genius but still... you've made me think of a great idea!

Dexter:
You think you've lost Casey to Ruby, she thinks she's lost Romeo to Ruby.Either one of you is wrong or that's a seriously crowded relationship.

Sid:
[Finding Indi hammering a chunk of meat] Wasn't that dead enough when you bought it?

Marilyn:
[Giving Harvey advice about Roo] I'd think very carefully about what you say next.

Alf:
And I'd do it on the phone.After a very long flight.

Brax:
I let him play this stupid game with Dad and...

Heath:
What, like Mousetrap?

Jett:
Sorry I'm late, the bus service down at Yabbie Creek is absolutely rubbish.

John:
That's my bus service.

Jett:
Oh.Is it?

Roo:
I'd forgotten how annoying you can be.

Tim:
See, I never forgot that about you.

Alf:
Now, a smart bloke might take her at her word.

Harvey:
Oh, I never said I was smart.

John:
But arranging everything in the pantry by size and descending order isn't gonna make a lick of difference.

Lottie:
Mum's right about one thing.I do get my brains from her.

Marilyn:
Well, one day you'll meet someone and it'll all be easy.

Sasha:
How do you know?It's never happened to you.

Ben Lucini:
[Two thieves drive off with Ben's car while he and Carly are skinny dipping] Hey, you can't do that! That's my car; Come back here!

Carly Morris:
Will they come back?

Ben Lucini:
I don't think so, Carly. They're car thieves.

Bianca:
Life's too short.Sometimes it's only four months and eight days.

Leah:
Oh my god, okay, this is one of the most embarrassing moments of my life and trust me, I have had many embarrassing moments.

Marilyn:
[to Roo] Because, as your new bridesmaid, it's my duty to tell you that velvet only looks good on teenagers.

Harvey:
In the '70s.

Heath:
[to Brax and Casey] He's going to jail and your life sucks.Let's get on the cans.

Heath:
Would you rather we get some pink champagne and read Twilight?

Alf:
A naked man standing in front of a room full of half-tanked sheilas.Oh no, that wouldn't be tacky at all.

Indigo:
So... babysitting?

Jett:
It's more of a bodyguard kind of a deal.

John:
But there'll be other girls.Some of them'll break your heart and I'm pretty sure you'll break a few hearts too.Love's never simple. You're at the beginning of a long, mysterious, fabulous and completely baffling road.

Kyle:
[Leaving a phone message for Casey] Look, your old girlfriend was in here to tell me that your new girlfriend's boyfriend is looking for you.OK?So if you understood that, call me back and explain it to me.

Dexter:
[after speaking to Sid on the phone] Dad says he hates you, you and the jury's still out on you.

Dexter:
I don't want to be special.I want to be normal.

Sid:
Too late for that.

Gina:
Normally at school he pretends that we don't even know each other.

John:
Oh, I can understand that.Sorry, sorry, go on.

Heath:
[Seeing Kyle with his bags packed] Where are you going?Band Camp or something?

Dexter:
Now I've lost my anatomy textbook!

Indigo:
Try under your elbow.

Natalie:
You mean you want counselling?

Heath:
Keep it down please.

Sasha:
They're not exactly the sharpest tools in the shed.Emphasis on tools.

Harvey:
[after disagreeing with Roo] I'm off to bed before I have to sleep on the couch.

Kyle:
So, what now-you handcuff me to a tree, drive off, leave me to the possums, that's the plan?

Heath:
Well, it's just, yesterday, when you were talking about the wedding, I was a bit...

Bianca:
Evasive, noncommittal, useless?

Heath:
Just one of those, okay?

Indigo:
[as Chris ogles April] Hey, how about I offer you a free twelve-month membership?

Chris:
Ah, no thanks, I've already eaten.

Rosie:
I have a dentist's appointment.

Sasha:
Uh, since when?

Rosie:
Since I'm no good at self-defence and had to make something up quickly.

John:
Would a cheapskate buy you gelato after school?

Jett:
Well, you own the gelato bar, so yeah.

Rosie:
I beat her at a spelling bee in primary school.She's never forgiven me.

Joey:
I have never met a woman with so little in her handbag.

Adam:
Part of me likes the idea of being an only child.

Irene:
Option one:You keep pushing those feelings down until he leaves town.

Marilyn:
Well, that sounds really sad.

Irene:
Mmm.Safe but sad.

Marilyn:
Or?

Irene:
Or option two:You lay your cards on the table.You tell him how you really feel.

Marilyn:
Oh, well, that sounds really scary!Uh, how about option three:I do nothing except help John stay in Summer Bay?

Irene:
That sounds really gutless.

Dexter:
I am not to be woken up except in the case of the house being on fire or an impending zombie apocalypse.

Dexter:
Isn't it strange how some people have respect for their big brother?

Sasha:
No-one is better at ruining romance than you.

Indi:
[as a horse and carriage approaches] Is that Chris?

Dexter:
Either that or we've slipped into a space/time continuum and we're back in 1893.

Heath:
[Greeting Casey] No, it's okay.Don't get up.

Casey:
Why is it that every time something bad happens to me you... you invite the person responsible into our home?

Kyle:
[Loudly] Hi, Heath, how are ya?

Heath:
Deaf, apparently.

Maddy:
Until today I had no idea how much prejudice he gets from everyone.And the worst part is that today it came from me.

Heath:
Try talking to me like I'm not a kid but someone who could throw you through the window.

John:
Anyway, you're too young for romance.

Jett:
Romeo and Juliet were thirteen.

John:
Yeah, well, that went well, didn't it?

Jett:
So you dobbed us in.

John:
No, at my age it's called being a responsible adult.

Bianca:
You are amazing, you know that?

Heath:
Yeah, I do.Can you remember that next time I stuff up?

Chris:
Don't you tell me how to heal!

Irene:
What?

Chris:
[Gesturing to the television] I just heard that line.

Bianca:
She broke in here, trashed the place.It's insane.

Leah:
Yeah, it is.But do we think she's not?

Bianca:
And you call yourself a Braxton.

Heath:
I'm retired.

Casey:
If it does start a war, it's gonna have a good soundtrack.

Jett:
These dishes are so clean... you could eat off them.

Alf:
I'll have the fish of the day, thanks, love, with extra chips.

Marilyn:
Oh, why don't you have salad instead of the extra chips?

Alf:
Because I wouldn't like it.

Evelyn:
What would you do if I had to leave town?

Oscar:
Have a parade.

Chris:
[serving Alf] One steak: Well done, as flamin' ordered.

Irene:
Chris Harrington needs some lovin' in his life and I'm gonna give it to him. [Beat] Sounded wrong, didn't it?

Chris:
Yeah, if you want a bit of Chris, you gotta be quick or you're dead.

Denny:
And here's me thinking death had no advantages.

Andy:
I'd just like one second without a Braxton in my face.

Casey:
Why are you drinking in a Braxton bar?

Andy:
It was the closest.

Chris:
She knows I work here. It's called a pre-emptive stalk.

John:
All you need to know is you don't need to rearrange furniture to bring positive energy into the place.You do it just by being in the room.

Zac:
This town, was it built on an ancient Indian burial ground or something?

Phoebe:
If Heath and Bianca break up, do you think we can move into their place?

Nate:
Shall I give Marilyn a call?And she can come round, braid your hair, you can talk about boys...

Jett:
Oh, so the present for my big happy shiny dancey birthday party is debt.

Chris:
Sweet treat for a sweet girl?

Denny:
Now all we need is a cheesy sandwich to go with the cheesy line.

Irene:
[On Chris] If you find him one day with an axe in the back of his head, I did it.

Matt:
Your face is a complete tool.

John:
I know I've got to buckle in and prepare for a whole heap of wedding madness, but I really hope that you will be kind and patient with me when you realise that I have absolutely nothing to contribute.

Leah:
Chris, are you okay to hold the fort until close?Chris?

Chris:
[Distracted] Close the fort.Got it.

Heath:
[Arriving home to find a garage sale going on] Does someone need money for bail or something?

Ailsa Hogan:
[During an Argument] You're a sour old dog with an old bone!

Donald Fisher:
And I intend to chew it. Down to the marrow!

[leaves]

Darcy:
You got expelled.

Heath:
I was invited to leave.

Denny:
I was just helping Casey put the mats away.

Chris:
So that's what they're calling it these days.

Marilyn:
Look, his one true love, back from mysterious locales.

John:
Queensland?That's not very mysterious.

Marilyn:
She wants to talk to me.

Alf:
That's normally why people ring up, love.

Roo:
Well, how many have you had?

Marilyn:
I have no idea!

Kyle:
That's her first.

Irene:
Whatever you're thinking, unthink it.

Chris:
When have you known me think anything?

Spencer:
Hey, you of all people should know that there's plenty more fish out there for you.

Chris:
Yeah but every time I catch one it's only a matter of time before it flops out of the boat.

Alf:
The last time I was in a boat with you, you poisoned me.

John:
[Trying to work a computer] Jett, it says that it's synching. Er, what should I do?Start bailing?

Brax:
I've been to London.Half the people I met there want to live here.

Nate:
That's because you tricked them into thinking it never rains.

Chris:
[On Amy's excuse] Flat tyre?Really?I would've gone with alien abduction.

Irene:
What is gramping?

Chris:
Camping with oldies.

Irene:
[to Roo] See what I have to deal with?

Spencer:
Ohhh, remember when we talked about not saying weird stuff out loud?

Alf:
[after the Surf Life Saving buggy crashes into a tent at the Caravan Park] Strike me flamin' handsome! [sees Jett emerge from the crash] What the flamin' hell are *you* doin' here?

Jett:
No, look it's... it's OK. There's... there's no-one in the tent, it's empty

Alf:
Well, lucky for you it is! If anyone was in there you could have killed 'em!

Jett:
No, I was just trying to return...

Alf:
I don't wanna hear your excuses, young fella. You're in more strife than Flash Gordon!

Jett:
I'm considering joining the chess club just to meet people.

Josh:
It kind of reminds me of one of those shrines that a serial killer makes.

John:
[Trying to write poetry] Your hair... hair... is big and doesn't move.

Denny:
I think he's outside.I should get him to mow the lawn.

Sasha:
That fundraising thing you asked me about yesterday:I'd like to help.

Chris:
Yeah and I want Swedish twins to bathe me every morning but we can't always get what we want, can we?

Marilyn:
There's something that I think I should do.

John:
Like go to France, buy a pony, buy a French pony, what?

Ash:
So you're basically a bum?

Billie:
I prefer the word drifter.It's more romantic.

Irene:
Not to mention his dad is still in hospital.

John:
But you did mention it.

Chris:
You're like the little sister I never had.

Maddy:
You're like the big brother I never wanted.

Oscar:
[to Andy] I need to tell you something, but first I need you to promise me not to punch me in the face afterwards.

Hannah:
Okay, Phoebs, stop comparing yourself to a dog.

Oscar:
[On Josh's t-shirt] Is that a present or punishment?

Matt:
There's a lot of things I'm struggling to believe right now.

John:
[On Jett leaving] No, we're not putting him down, Marilyn, he's going away to boarding school.

Donald Fisher:
[Calling after Blake following his scuffle with Steven] Blake! Blake, Come back here at once!

Blake Dean:
Go stick your head up a dead man's bum!

[walks off]

John:
[Babysitting Casey] I have no intention of throwing up on you, so I'd expect you to extend me the same courtesy.

Chris:
I'm a 94% match with this hottie!

John:
Yeah, that's not saying much considering we share 98% of our DNA with chimpanzees.

Karen Dean:
[reading a Limerick she wrote] There was an old teacher named Stone; The worst one we've ever known. At first he was nice, but then in a trice, He was just like a Godzilla clone!

Ash:
Then, what are you doing?

Phoebe:
Stirring.

Ash:
Yeah, you're good at that.

Charlotte:
I want out.

Trystan:
[Snorts] I wanna captain the Wallabies. [Off her look] What?I thought we were saying things that weren't gonna happen.

Greg:
[On Phoebe's outfit] It's not something I'd wear to a job interview.

Phoebe:
Would you have said that to a man?

Greg:
I highly doubt I'm going to come across one wearing that.

Nate:
I stopped being your son the day you walked out on us.

Gavin:
No you didn't.I stopped being your father.

Alan Stone:
[Stone enters the Store Drunk] Alf Stewart...

Alf Stewart:
G'day.

Alan Stone:
I'll have another bottle of that scotch, thanks.

Alf Stewart:
What happened to that last one; You drop it on the way home?

Alan Stone:
[snarls] I don't think that's *any* of your business.

Alf Stewart:
Just making conversation.

Alan Stone:
[slurs] Look, I haven't got time to set there and chat; just get me a bottle of scotch, will you?

Alf Stewart:
Look, old mate. I think your best bet would be to go home and sleep it off.

Alan Stone:
Look, I didn't come here for *your* advice. Are you gonna serve me or not? [Karen giggles; Stone turns to her] And that's enough out of *you*, You should be in school!

Karen Dean:
Um, It's *After* school.

Alan Stone:
Don't be so damned cheeky! I won't put up with that; You're as bad as your brother, you are!

Alf Stewart:
Hey, now. Hang on a minute, fella!

Alan Stone:
You think you're clever, Don't you, girlie? Well, you're not *that* clever, Let me tell you!

Alf Stewart:
That'll do [pushes Stone towards to door]

Alan Stone:
Take your hands off me!

Alf Stewart:
Take your hands off nothin'! Out you go.

Alan Stone:
[Threatening] Just wait til' tomorrow at school!

Alf Stewart:
Just get out, ya goose! [shoves Stone out]

Sophie Simpson:
[In shock] I can't believe him!

Karen Dean:
What did I say?

Alf Stewart:
I tell you what, the sooner that bloke's transferred to Woop Woop or wherever, the better. Are you okay, love?

Karen Dean:
[Scared now] What do you think he'll do to me?

Alf Stewart:
He won't do anything to you; If he tries, There'll be hell to pay.

Haydn Ross:
[Blake is messing around during the beach cleanup] That's my best hat, you jerk. What are you doing?

Blake Dean:
Gotcha bag!

Haydn Ross:
Come back here, Dean! [Feels pain] Haydn Ross: Ah

Blake Dean:
Whoa, You OK?

Haydn Ross:
Cut my foot...

Blake Dean:
What do we have to do? Dredge the whole Ocean?

Haydn Ross:
Someone should dredge *you*, you mindless dork!

Blake Dean:
What?

Haydn Ross:
What are you doing throwing my hat in the water anyway? Are you a total idiot? [surveys foot]

Jeff Samuels:
Come on Burgess, you Pathetic little ponce! [turns attention to Steven doing push-ups] How many, Matheson?

Steven:
Four...

Jeff Samuels:
*Sir*...

Steven:
Sir... [puffs]

Jeff Samuels:
Just thank your lucky stars you're not like Burgess, Boys. He's got the sort of phsique that gives a skeleton a bad name! Alright back to your locker rooms [Boys groan, Jeff turns back to Burgess] Fifty push=ups, no breaks, Now!

Burgess:
I can't sir.

Jeff Samuels:
I don't think I caught that...

Burgess:
Please, Sir. I feel sick, sir.

Jeff Samuels:
[mocking] "Please, Sir. I feel sick, sir." I said Fifty of the best and that's what I wanna se. Fifty, *now*! [Grabs Burgess by the neck and forces him into the sand] One, Two, Three!

Steven:
Leave him alone!

Jeff Samuels:
What was that, Matheson?

Steven:
Can't you see he's upset?

Jeff Samuels:
[chuckles] Looks like you've got a champion, Burgess. [to Steven] If that's the way you want it, You do *his* Fifty, *for* him! [releases Burgess] I wanna see *you* changed and dress by the time I get back to the change rooms. Move it, Skeleton Man! [Turns back to Steven] Alright, Matheson. No-one, *No-one* lips me and gets away with! [grabs him] Who do you think are boy? Eh? Eh? You might be in for some hard times lately but that gives you *no* excuse to backchat me. Does it, Matheson? eh? eh? [pokes Steven] Not so free with your Mouth now, are you? [Steven has flashbacks of Barlow giving the same treatment] Come on, you were a big man before! Let's hear it again! Talk, *boy*, I said *Talk*!

Steven:
[Steven has had enough, grab Jeff and Judo throws him over his shoulder on the ground and stands on him holding his arm] Eat, Sand Barlow!

Alf Stewart:
[after tasting the "Power shake" Karen has made Blake] Good lord, that'd kill a brown dog! What's in it?

Alf Stewart:
[after a photographer takes a picture of Alf trying to free the teens chained to the tree] Go on, Get out of it! Or I'll use these flamin' bolt cutters for more than your camera!

Karen Dean:
[after being scolded by Alf for not displaying stock correctly] Soph; Don't even think about it. Besides, If you hit him, You'd only dent the can.

Haydn Ross:
[as he and Sophie leave for the Cinema] We've got to go.

Sally Fletcher:
No kissing in the back row!

Sophie Simpson:
Sal, we're going to see the *film*

Sally Fletcher:
What's it called, then?

Sophie Simpson:
None of your business!

Donald Fisher:
[after Sam falls out of the treehouse he and Sally built] You were very silly, Treehouses have to be built by someone who knows exactly what they're doing; Something terrible could have happened to you and Bobby and I would have been very upset.

Sam Nicholls:
The Doctor said I was lucky I've got a thick head.

Donald Fisher:
Yeah, the doctor was right!

Alf Stewart:
[after refusing Revhead credit] I'd get out of here now if I was you.

Marilyn Chambers:
Mr Stewart...

Alf Stewart:
Stay out of it, Marilyn. Now get out of here before I kick you out.

Maurice 'Revhead' Gibson:
You touch me, mate and I'll get the cops onto you.

Alf Stewart:
The cops? Huh! You've had more run-ins with the cops than I've had hot dinners! Who are you tryin' to kid, Gibson?

Maurice 'Revhead' Gibson:
The name is *Revhead*!

Alf Stewart:
How a nice bloke like your old man could have son like you is beyond me and *don't* think that I've forgotten about the hard time you gave my daughter either!

Maurice 'Revhead' Gibson:
She was askin' for it!

Alf Stewart:
What did you say?

Maurice 'Revhead' Gibson:
Roo was a slag. *Everybody* knew that!

[Marilyn gasps, Alf comes from behind the counter and grabs Revhead]

Alf Stewart:
Holy Dooley, I won't put up with that from you or anybody else now GET OUT OF HERE! Out!

[throws Revhead out]

Karen Dean:
Have you seen Blake?

Ailsa Stewart:
He's cleaning out the garage- his little "reward" for your conspiracy today!

Karen Dean:
You could have at least let me finish talking to Revhead.

Ailsa Stewart:
Don't start, Karen. I've had one hell of a day.

Karen Dean:
You don't want me to have a boyfriend, do you?

Ailsa Stewart:
Don't be silly, that's not why we're stopping you seeing the boy at all.

Karen Dean:
It isnt? You're *jealous*, Ailsa. It's got nothing to do with Revhead, you just can't stand me getting some attention for a change.

Ailsa Stewart:
The Most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Karen Dean:
And I'm fed up with you and everyone else trying to run my life! It's not exactly like you've done a great job of running your own, is it?

Ailsa Stewart:
Now just a minute, young lady...

Karen Dean:
You don't even get on with Alf anymore, You're always nagging or looking for some stupid excuse to start a fight with him. I bet he wishes he never married you. I bet he wishes you were dead, because I do! [Ailsa slaps Karen and she runs off]

Ailsa Stewart:
Karen!

Karen Dean:
[after leaving the Interview room and seeing Revhead] Morris! Are you alright? I didn't say anything.

Revhead Gibson:
Look, I'll be out and bailed in a day or two and I'll see you then, Ok?

[Alf runs over and grabs Revhead]

Alf Stewart:
You keep away from her!

[is restrained by Nick]

Revhead Gibson:
I'll have you up on assault!

Alf Stewart:
You're damn lucky it's not *Murder*!

Nick Parrish:
Out! Out!

[pushes Alf towards exit]

Blake Dean:
[to another Student after being told off by Crawford] You're up mate, just make sure you don't trip over the broomstick; it's right next to the dumbells in the corner.

Haydn Ross:
That bad, huh?

Blake Dean:
Man, she makes Schwarzenegger look like Bambi.

Donald Fisher:
[as Lois prepares to leave after being stood down as Principal] There's an old Jewish Saying; If six people tell you you're sick; lie down. Lie down, Miss Crawford.

Alf Stewart:
[after he learns of Frank attempting to get back with Bobby] I knew it! I'll wring his flamin' New York Neck!

Policeman:
[Opening lines of the series, A Policeman is chasing a Young Frank in 1978] Frankie, Frankie, Frankie. [hides behind corner and eventually catches Frank] Frankie. What's your mum going to say?

Martin Dibble:
[Lance and Martin see Carly walking with Sally and Lynn outside the store] Hey, Lance, check it out! Woah!

Lance Smart:
Yeah, right, check it out!

Carly Morris:
I hope that's not the best Summer Bay can offer.

Lynn Davenport:
He's going to talk to us.

Carly Morris:
Not for long, he's not!

Martin Dibble:
How are you going? I'm Martin. He's Lance.

Carly Morris:
And I'm not interested.

[Girls walk off]

Lance Smart:
Too bad, mate.

Martin Dibble:
Shut up!

[to Carly]

Martin Dibble:
It's your loss! Suckers!

Carly Morris:
If that's the answer to last night's prayer, then I'm an atheist!

Sally Keating:
What's an Athiest?

Lynn Davenport:
She's just being silly.

Matt Wilson:
[Matt walks out of the store] G'day.

Lynn Davenport:
[Carly giggles] Amen!